The Money-Obssessed Archmage's Second Life As A Broke Duke-Chapter 80 - Welcome To The Spirit Realm - Meep!

Chapter Eighty

Thud!

I hit the ground. Hard.

Actually, calling it "ground" was generous. It felt more like landing on a giant, vibrating marshmallow that smelled intensely of lavender and existential dread.

"Ugh... What kind of elf spirit makes such inefficient portal. I am definitely making a personalised law system to sue that elf and that first duke," I groaned, face-planted into the soft turf.

[Ping!]

[Welcome to the Spirit Realm, Host!]

[Current Status: Nauseous. Very, very nauseous.]

"Thanks, Sysi. Really helpful. Your concern is touching," I muttered, pushing myself up.

I took a breath, and immediately, my throat felt like I'd swallowed a handful of needles.

Right. The glass-air.

I scrambled for the wooden box Sylvester gave me, popped the lid, and downed one of the Breath of the Yggdrasil vials. The emerald mist slid down my throat, feeling less like medicine and more like minty liquid nitrogen.

Suddenly, the burning stopped. My lungs felt... sparkly. If I burped right now, I'm pretty sure a butterfly would fly out.

"Okay," I said, standing up and dusting off my new moonlight cloak. "Let's see the damage."

I looked around, and for a solid minute, I just stood there with my mouth open.

The Spirit Realm looked like someone had dropped a psychedelic bomb on a botanical garden.

The trees weren't brown... They were deep indigo with leaves that pulsed like neon signs. The sky was a swirling vortex of violet and gold, and instead of a sun, there were three glowing moons that seemed to be playing a slow-motion game of tag.

But that wasn't the weirdest part.

Floating about three meters away from my nose was a small, round creature that looked like a fat, blue hamster with dragonfly wings and way too many eyes.

"Meep?"

"Uh... hello?" I replied.

"MEEP!" The weird thing screamed, and then it exploded into a shower of glitter.

[Ping!]

[Host has terrified a Lesser Spore-Spirit.]

"What the— I just said hello?!"

[Ping!]

[Correction: Host's soul and face registered as 'Nuisance Predator' under Spirit Realm threat index.]

"I beg your pardon?"

[Ping!]

[Uploading reflection.]

A translucent screen popped up in front of me.

It was my face.

Wind-swept hair. Cloak fluttering dramatically. Eyes glowing faintly from the Yggdrasil vapor still leaking out of my tear ducts like I'd just emotionally bonded with a mint plant.

I looked… intense.

I looked like someone who'd kick down heaven's gate and ask for a manager.

Maybe, I should have packed a comb at least.

"That's just my neutral expression, though."

[Ping!]

[Spirit Realm translation: "I am here to devour your lineage."]

"…I hate this place already."

[Ping!]

[How does Host plan to find the Spirit Kings?]

"I don't know. I don't have a plan. Let's walk and make some friends, I guess?"

[Ping!]

[Host can't make friends here with that face.]

"...Wanna bet?"

[Ping!]

[One million gold. Bet.]

I narrowed my eyes at the floating blue screen. "Sysi, you underestimate my charm. And seriously, betting with my money? What kind of broke ass system are you?"

[Ping!]

[Who said it's Host's money?]

The dimensional space was mine.

[Ping!]

[It's not Host's money!]

Really? Why should I trust a liar and scammer?

[Ping!]

[Wasn't it Host that said we scam him?]

Ah...

[Ping!]

[What happened, Host?]

Nothing. Let's not waste time.

I started walking, my boots sinking into the neon-pulsing grass. With every step, a soft chiming sound rang out from the earth, as if I were walking across a giant xylophone made of crystal.

"Okay, step one. Find someone who doesn't explode upon impact with my gaze."

A beat of silence filled the air as I sighed.

Then—

"Meep…"

I froze.

Slowly, carefully, like a man defusing a bomb made of feelings, I turned my head.

Another one of those blue hamster-dragonfly abominations hovered behind a glowing fern. This one was smaller, rounder like candy. And trembling like it had unpaid taxes.

"Hey," I said, softening my voice. "Don't go puff please. I seriously need help, little one."

The creature blinked. All nine of its eyes.

"Meep?"

I crouched down, cloak pooling around me in what I hoped was a non lineage devouring manner.

"Look. I don't eat spirits. I don't even eat vegetables unless they're bullied into soup by someone else." I lied flawlessly, acting pitiful.

It floated a little closer.

[Ping!]

[Lesser Spore Spirit is confused.]

The little spirit circled me once. Twice. Then it gently bumped into my knee.

And didn't explode.

I gasped at my victory. "HA."

[Ping!]

[Lesser Spore Spirit has classified Host as 'Confusing but not immediately lethal.']

"I'll take it."

Zzzzzz...

It feels like a male mosquito.

The spirit did a small loop in the air and then zipped forward a few meters, pausing to look back at me.

"Oh? Are you… leading me somewhere?"

"Meep!"

It darted forward again.

I stood, brushed invisible dust off my cloak, and followed. "See, Sysi? I am close to winning the bet! Ha!"

[Ping!]

[Host's face still reads as 'Nuisance.' Pitiful Nuisance.]

We moved through the glowing forest, the chiming grass harmonizing beneath my boots. The air shimmered like heat above a desert, but colder in that ancient way that feels older than memory.

The deeper we walked, the stranger it became.

Vines slithered lazily across tree trunks as if breathing. Flowers opened and closed in rhythm with my pulse. The three moons above shifted positions slowly, like chess pieces being moved by an unseen hand.

Then the little spirit stopped.

Hovering ahead was a clearing.

In the center stood a lake. There was no water in it. But rather, liquid light.

What is this thing?

"Hey, Meep-"

Before I could finish my statement, Meep flew into the liquid light, leaving me behind alone.

Ugh... Now, what?

I turned away from the lake, ready to wander aimlessly into the neon woods again, when a sound caught the edge of my hearing.

It wasn't a "Meep." It wasn't the xylophone grass.

It was a melody that sounded like a lullaby played on a flute made of frozen tears. It felt less like I was hearing it with my ears and more like the sound was being vibrated directly into my soul.

Tring... Tring-ting...

I turned.

The sound was coming from the dense thicket of indigo trees to my left. The shadows there weren't black instead they were a deep, bruised purple that seemed to swallow the light of the three moons in the sky.

"You hear that, Sysi?"

[Ping!]

[Be careful, Host.]