Seeking Happiness-Chapter 135

Chapter 135 Old accumulated grievances

Everyone was silent, neither crow nor sparrow could be heard.

• Neither crow nor sparrow could be heard in perfect silence.

Zhou shi was so shocked that she even forgot to cry.

• Shi: clan

Fang shi was just standing there with her eyes blank and dull, completely confused about what was happening in front of her. She didn’t know whether this was a dream or reality.

Gu Da felt so bitter and hateful that he lost his voice and his hand trembling. He used all his strength and slapped Gu Xiren fiercely again. Gu Xiren didn’t ask for mercy but instead gave a cold glance with no resentment in his eyes, only disdain and sarcasm.

• Bitter and hateful: heartache and headache with deep hatred and resentment.

Such an attitude was just asking to add fuel to the fire. Gu Da fiercely slapped Gu Xiren two more times and angrily said, "Unfilial son! What did your eldest big brother do to you that you hate him so much to have him murdered?!"

• Add fuel to the fire: to enrage people and make matters worse.

Ever since the matter was revealed, this doubt had been pressed on Gu Da's heart. Although he usually took care of business matters and didn't care much about his family, he always felt that the family was serene. Every time he heard of other family's wife and concubines fighting with each other resulting in somebody's death, or that the sons were fighting for properties resulting in the ruin of the family and its member's death, he (GD) felt deeply moved that he had managed his family quite well. But who had thought that he would be dealt such a heavy blow by the reality at this moment?!

The fact that brother's killing each other was so cruel that he (GD) didn’t dare to think about it!

Gu Xiren sneered, "Naturally, he is always the best in your eyes. By virtue of his eldest son's identity, his food and clothing were incomparable to others. He always had the smartest servant following him when he went out. As soon as he came back, the whole family would revolve around him. Ever since young, as long as he liked something, the others could only watch. Fighting or quarrelling with him, no matter the reason, the one that had to be beaten, scolded or needed to apologize, even to kowtow would never be him (GXT)!"

"You…" Gu Da tried to interrupt him.

Gu Xiren just ignored him (GD) and continued, "The most repulsive thing is that you always compare me to him when lecturing me. What's not as smart as him, not as filial as he is, not as good as he can study, not as good as he knows worldly wisdom? Even if some things were done better than him, it was nothing to you. Scolding me was already light (punishment). You often slap me and point at me to ask if I deliberately wanted to embarrass him (GXT), so that he can't raise his head in front of people. Also, you scolded me for being ill-intentioned and mean, for being vulgar and venomous! Have you thought at that moment that it would also make me embarrassed and that I also wouldn't be able to raise my head in front of people?"

"Just because of these?" Gu Da glared at him: "Just because of these trivial matters, you lay a murderous hand on Xitian?"

"Trivial matters?" Gu Xiren smiled. He looked like he was ready to risk everything and without disguising his sarcastic words, he said, "In your eyes, those are naturally trivial matters. If he (GXT) had suffered some injustice, you would feel sad and help him get over his anxiety. When others suffered some injustice, it was justified in your opinion! It's clear that both of us are your biological children, but don’t you think you're too biased? To say that I'm heartless and vicious, wasn't this forced out by you? I was a perfectly all fine human being, but why should I bear such a false reputation? I thought, don't do it, or don't rest, and make this reputation come true!"

• Don't do it, or don't rest: either give up or go through to the end/ in for a penny, in for a pound.

Zhou shi couldn’t bear it anymore. She came up to hold on to his sleeve and begged, "Don’t talk anymore! I know that these are all angry words. You didn’t do it. Get on your knees and beg master for forgiveness…."

Before she could finish speaking, she staggered back as Gu Xiren pulled back his sleeve.

Gu Xiren stared at her and said: "And you! I was aggrieved outside. I came back to tell you but what did you do? Every time you only know to drag me out, let me kowtow to apologize. If I don’t want to, you'll personally press down my head and scold me alongside master. Isn't it enough for only you to be so submissive? Is it necessary for me to follow you too?"

"I….," Zhou shi was shocked that her own son began to reprimand her. She felt deeply hurt and said, "I was afraid that you would get into trouble, afraid that you…"

Gu Xiren humphed once and interrupted her, "There are so many things that you're afraid of! Your heart is full of trivial things. Even if others look at you longer, you have to speculate on yourself for half a day, talk about it all the time! Even if you don't feel tired, I feel exhausted for you!"

After Gu Xiren had said that, he didn’t look at Zhou shi anymore and sneered at Gu Da, "If it was just these things that I've been used to it since I was a child, I may even not be able to do it (murder). However, my eldest big brother who always watched me being scolded, beaten, and wronged, not only did he not feel guilty, he even acted so fake like we were affectionate brothers in front of me! On the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, he came to me and sincerely said that I'm old enough to get married…."

Gu Da trembled with anger and asked, "Was it wrong for him to care about you?"

"Care about me?!" Gu Xiren said sarcastically, "He wanted to be a matchmaker and let me marry the daughter of shopkeeper Tong!” Who doesn’t know that his daughter has a fierce and unreasonable personality?! A word of discord, she can scold the person for an hour without stopping. He (GXT) glorified that by saying that a wife three years older than the husband ensures a richer life! By letting me marry a fierce old girl; is this caring about me or is he screwing me?!"

"It was my idea!" Gu Da angrily said, "Shopkeeper Tong has been in our shop for decades. We know him through and through! His daughter is a little fierce, but her family background is clean and her appearance is outstanding. Why isn't she worthy of you?"

"Master's calculation is too good. Fooling me that I don’t know?" Gu Xiren wasn’t afraid and refuted, "It's because shopkeeper Tong is being tempted by other shop's owners. You're afraid that he will leave and divulge the secrets of your business, so you intend to tie him up by means of marriage!"

"But that doesn’t cause you grievance!"

"Doesn’t?" Gu Xiren sneered: "If eldest big brother isn’t married, will you let him marry the daughter of a shopkeeper?"

Gu Da choked a little bit and said, "He's the eldest son, so we naturally should be considerate about his marriage!"

"That's right! He was able to marry a noble's daughter because of his status. In my case as a concubine's son, I can only marry a daughter of a shopkeeper!" Gu Xiren raised his head and said, "Based on status, even if I'm a concubine's son, I'm also shopkeeper Tong's boss's son. Where do you want me to put this face? Or do you expect me to live below people all my life? That way you'll be satisfied?"

"I see…." After Gu Da heard this, he stared at him, "It's not your eldest big brother that you hate the most, but me!"

"That's right!" Gu Xiren frankly admitted. "I hate you, so I ruined him. Who let you love him the most?! So, I let you have a taste of your child dying before yourself."

In a word, the ultimate resentment was exposed in front of people.

Fang shi supported herself for half a day just because she wanted to listen to this clearly. After she finally understood everything, her mind went blank. As if she had all her energy drained from her body, she couldn’t stand anymore and directly fell to the ground.

"Eldest young mistress!" Yingluo couldn’t hold her anymore and panicked, but this sound did turn everyone's attention to Fang shi.

Gu Da felt anxious and pain. He couldn’t care to deal with Gu Xiren for the time being. He stamped his foot and shouted, “Doctor, why isn't he here yet?!"

Shu Huan saw this chaos and couldn’t help but be glad that old madam hadn't woken up yet. Otherwise, the family was really going to have another big funeral.

This was really the first wave hadn't subsided yet, a new wave rose. She looked up at Gu Xiran and saw him standing in the panicked crowd, with frowned eyebrows and didn't say anything.

• Before the first wave subsides, a new wave rises: a new problem arises before the old is solved.

Indeed, in this case, they were two outsiders that couldn’t do anything apart from watching as things were going. All these tragedies originated from years of accumulated resentment, layer upon layer, unable to vent, unable to make peace with. Just like a turbulent gathering of small streams turning into great rushing waves. There would be a moment when the embankment would be breached and be overflowed!