I Am Tired Of Being A Hero-Chapter 65: Apology and Advice

Ravi looked into concerned blue eyes, "I..I saw a piece of my past that I would rather forget and I agreed to something that I did not want to agree to."

A piece of himself that he would rather forget? Arlen ruminated over those words, he had felt that Ravi was some kind of special agent or at least he had served in the military before. It was just that he was too young, he looked like he was in his early twenties even though the document stated that he was twenty-five years old.

But the information in his identity registration did not match the Ravi he knew, there were a lot of suspicious parts as well.

His high school burnt down and the college that he went to was at Sankime, an outskirt border town of Avalon that was now overrun by Nests and Monsters, turning into a sort of training ground.

Mercenary or Child soldier?

Those eyes when he turned him over and protected him from behind. Sharp, cold, and intense. That action had been instinctive, the art of protecting someone, a mercenary should not be able to do that.

What if that was what he had been trained to do? Arlen might not have the same authority as Anouk or his sisters but he had seen things. Those aristocratic families of Avalon. Any of them were capable of kidnapping children with abilities and raising them to protect their children, if a child was raised with love for so long, he would learn to lick it off knives. How would they rebel against their masters?

And an ability like Self- healing, it sounded rather simple but it can be viewed from self-regeneration. Wasn’t that a soldier that could fight without falling?

Had Ravi escaped from such a place and then come to this little town of Davenport? Has someone from his past called him? The family or another escapee? What were his words and I agreed to something I did not want to agree with? The more he tried to see, it was as if the mist sounded as this person grew even foggier.

The way Arlen was staring at him, his concerned blue eyes had gotten sharp, as if he wanted to dig out his innermost, most hidden and scary secrets in the depth of his heart and lay them all out in the open for everyone to see.

He regretted it, his hand trembled beneath Arlen’s and he pulled it out. He should not have said anything.

Arlen’s eyes widened and he looked at Ravi, those walls were already back up. What had he been doing? He lowered his head deeply and said in a low voice, "I am sorry." He took a deep breath and repeated, "I am sorry. Just now, I was sanctimonious. I asked you to confide in me. It was not easy for you and yet you did. I did not acknowledge that, but rather spent my time dissecting your words. You are not a puzzle piece but a person and while I have the desire to know and find out more about you. This was neither the time nor the place, my actions were disrespectful, cold, and cruel. Ravi, Sorry, forgive me, ba. I would not do it again."

He swallowed, his throat a little hoarse, "This is one of the reasons I came to Davenport."

Ravi raised his eyes, he had already accepted the apology, it was more than he had ever gotten, "You don’t need to."

"I want to. In the capital, we were chasing down a villain. He asked us to choose between a young woman with Level 5 abilities and a group of ordinary citizens. Others came from above for us to save the young woman and continue to chase down the villains. I was brash and very self-righteous, why would I sacrifice a bus filled with people for a single woman? I saved the bus and the woman was killed."

Ravi reached out to rub his hand, "It is not your fault. You did not kill the woman."

Arlen sighed, "It still is. The woman’s mother committed suicide after that." His eyes had a faraway look to them, "For the past one year, I have needed sleeping pills. I keep seeing her. Her brother is in my former bureau so I could not go to work either. I just ran away. Like a coward."

Ravi frowned, "You are not a coward. You saved a bus filled with people. Someone died in the process, they are a casualty. It is what happens. It is a part of life. What you did is a very brave thing." He might not know how to console people but this was one of the things you learn as a Sentinel. There are always casualties.

Arlen looked at him transfixed and then nodded slowly. His cheeks turned red a few seconds later, "I did not tell you the story so that you would console me. I am not so sad about it any more."

Ravi nodded.

"Now, you look like you are patronizing me. I am not a child."

Ravi chuckled, he looked at the taller male, "I am well aware, Captain."

Arlen rolled his eyes but he continued, "I don’t know your past and it looks like it might be even more tragic that I can imagine but I do know we can not run from our past forever. We can not hide away for the rest of our life until we die and I don’t believe that people must always move forward and never look back. That is just a lie, an illusion, ignoring the shadows that are chasing you. The past is difficult and it is painful to look at but I have a trick. Ravi, I like to take things one at a time. Focus on the immediate problem and solve it first, focus on the smallest shadow and deal with it. When you deal with the smallest part, you see, you will become a little bit stronger."

"Then you deal with the next shadow. You can take your time. You would become stronger for the next one. It is painful and ugly but one day when you can face your past calmly, I think all the ugly would be worth it."