The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]-Chapter 526: Even in the Dark

Xavier stood quietly, watching the family of three.

The entire time, his hand remained tightly clenched, fingers digging so hard into his own skin that he had broken it. The faint ache of the wound barely registered.

Watching them now, no one would have guessed he had just heard unthinkable horrors moments ago.

When Luca had finally come to, Xavier had been turning over what to say first. How to console him. How to ask what had happened. But he never expected the first words he heard from Luca to be... a thank you.

Not when Xavier himself felt like he had failed him.

If only he had gone through the proper steps from the beginning, if only he had approached their relationship the right way, the Duke wouldn’t have reacted like that. Luca wouldn’t have been forced to relive all of it.

Yet, Luca’s face held no disappointment.

If anything, when he sat up in bed and noticed his parents weren’t there, his pale face shifted immediately into worry.

"Xavier," he asked, his voice hoarse, "what about—"

"They’re just in the next room," Xavier supplied softly. "I spoke to the Duchess. The Duke is fine, no injuries. He’s resting."

Luca visibly relaxed at that.

But then his hand lifted, reaching toward Xavier’s cheek, his fingers brushing against him gently.

"What about you?" Luca asked after a pause. His voice dropped a little. "Why aren’t you resting? You look paler than usual."

The ghostly looking prince blinked.

The realization hit Luca late, because he hadn’t seen his husband like this in a long time.

And now, looking at him clearly, he realized—Xavier wasn’t alright at all.

"I’m fine," reassured the ghost, shaking his head faintly. "It would have been impossible to rest before I saw you with my own eyes."

The two of them shared a long, heavy look.

Luca looked startled by his words.

"Were you... worried?" the little fox asked sheepishly, his golden eyes flickering away. "I’m sorry," he added softly.

"Worried?" Xavier let out a short, humorless laugh.

He reached up, took the hand still resting on his cheek, and brought it to his chest.

"Worried would be an understatement," he said. His heart thudded violently under Luca’s palm, as though it was still fighting to calm down.

Those golden eyes widened as he felt it, his own throat tightening.

"I’m sorry," he whispered again.

But Xavier cut him off, pulling him into a firm embrace.

"Don’t apologize," Xavier murmured, holding him tightly. "I don’t deserve it. I’m the one who should apologize. For not taking care of you the way I should have."

Luca froze, caught off guard, then felt Xavier press a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"I’m sorry," Xavier continued, his voice low and rough.

"I’ve always been so scared of losing you, of making you suffer, of reminding you of what hurt you. So I avoided the hard questions. I pretended not to see."

He exhaled shakily.

"But today I realized how selfish that was. How lonely you must have felt, carrying it all yourself."

The truth stung even as Xavier said it, because he knew it was true.

He had been content to wait. Content to let Luca take the lead. Content to pretend everything was fine because it spared them both from bursting the fragile little bubble they lived in.

He had convinced himself that he was being patient, waiting until Luca felt comfortable enough to share. But if he had truly been using the sharp mind he prided himself on, he should have known better. Someone like Luca would never simply choose to unburden himself. The boy he was sharing his future with was the kind of person who would carry the weight of an entire Empire and still smile through it.

"I was a coward," Xavier admitted quietly. "Thinking of myself. Thinking I wouldn’t be strong enough to face it. But I was wrong."

His hold on Luca tightened slightly.

"When you were swallowed by all that darkness... and I had no solid plan other than to reach you."

"That’s when I realized."

"I didn’t care if it consumed me too. As long as I reached you. As long as we were together."

Luca’s breath caught, and a single tear slipped down his cheek.

The lump in his throat grew as Xavier, voice cracking just slightly, begged him.

"So please. I beg you. Take me with you. Even if it’s to that dark place."

"If it’s inevitable that you have to keep reliving it, then let me come for you."

"Let me bring you out. Just... tell me where to find you."

His voice broke into a whisper.

"Tell me what I’m looking for."

Luca stared at him, wide-eyed.

His chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths as Xavier’s words sank in.

He hadn’t expected this.

Not this kind of confession. Not this kind of raw, unfiltered honesty from someone who always seemed so composed. So untouchable.

And yet here Xavier was, holding him like a lifeline, asking to be brought into a place Luca had spent his entire life hiding from everyone.

For a long moment, Luca’s lips parted as though to respond, but no sound came out.

His throat was too tight.

Much too tight.

What could he possibly say to that?

It was one thing to pacify his younger self. To console himself with the idea that somehow, after everything, he was allowed to feel happy now.

But it was another thing entirely to tell the people he valued most that he’d probably been the reason for others’ destruction.

That he’d been unwanted. That maybe the people were right to throw him away.

He’d been confident enough to comfort his younger self just moments ago. After all, he’d had these people now.

But what if they realized what kind of monster he really was?

What if one day he woke up and realized this had all just been a dream?

A cruel, wishful fantasy?

It had always been his greatest fear.

And if not for Xavier’s energy, cradling him each night and grounding him, he might have already convinced himself that all of this was too good to be true.

But could he really lie? Could he keep hiding?

No.

Not when Xavier had once told him that trust meant everything. That they couldn’t live together while harboring life-changing lies.

A tear slipped down his cheek. Then another.

He didn’t bother wiping them away as his trembling fingers clutched at Xavier’s collar.

The words caught somewhere between his heart and his mouth, but finally he managed to whisper, voice soft and broken.

"I... I-it was me. And I was everywhere and nowhere at the same time."

"I didn’t really mean to hide my sins... but... I couldn’t help being selfish..." Luca choked out between sobs, the tears falling faster now as his voice cracked.

Then he looked down at his hands as though seeing, at last, how bloodied they truly were.

When he looked up again, his golden eyes were full of raw, pleading desperation.

"I couldn’t stop it. Even when I wanted to. No matter how much I tried to disappear... it was still there."

His words tumbled out frantically, disjointed and panicked, as if he couldn’t decide what to explain first. How to tell Xavier he never meant to hurt anyone. How to tell him he didn’t even know he could hurt anyone like that.

Xavier saw it all.

The way his little chipmunk’s gaze was unfocused and wild. The way his grip tightened as though holding on for dear life.

And Xavier’s heart clenched painfully at the sight.

So he did what he could.

He thought about what had always managed to calm Luca before.

Xavier cupped his wife’s tear-streaked face in both hands, then gently took one of his trembling hands in his own.

"Luca," he said softly, firmly, "listen to me."

Golden eyes blinked at him, startled.

"Let’s make a promise."

"Huh?"

Xavier gave him a small, crooked smile.

"Yeah. A pinky promise."

"???"

Luca blinked again, confusion breaking through the haze for just a moment.

"You’re probably not going to like what I say next," Xavier murmured. "You’re probably going to think I’m a monster, too."

He leaned his forehead against Luca’s, closing his eyes.

"But my love... even if you stood in front of me right now and told me you blew that whole planet into smithereens..."

He opened his eyes again, looking at Luca with a quiet, unshakable intensity.

"I would still stand by you. Because you’ve already paid more than enough for whatever you think you did wrong. And then some."

"And if after that you still think you owe anyone anything, I would be happy to pay in your stead—and just as happy to collect in your name."

"So, I hope you know. As we are, it would be impossible to get rid of me."

"!!!"