Use Me Like A Drug (omegaverse bl)-Chapter 115: Reality hurts

C/W: brief reference of past suicide attempt, throwing up.

Yujun’s POV

My body shudders as I finally open my eyes.

I don’t look at the screen.

Not yet, I want...

’Alpha’ my omega whines and I place my hand on my stomach, forcing Chan to take his hand and the device off me.

"I want ramyeon" I say and he straightens, "we can get some, there’s a shop that makes good ones" Chan says and gets busy with rearranging the space.

I’m carrying a baby.

Jaehyun’s pup is inside of me.

I have so many questions I need to ask but right now I need ramyeon.

The code word for comfort between me and the alpha I love.

"Ready?" Chan asks and holds his hand out to help me down, but I slap it away again.

I don’t want him.

He doesn’t flinch at my stubborn refusal to accept his help, instead he steps back and lets me do it.

Silently we leave the hospital together, the people around greeted Chan cheerfully and he gives them respectful bows.

"They make really nice ramyeon here" Chan says and steers me into the shop, I don’t want his hands on me, but I need something to ground me.

I can’t make sense of reality yet, not with the thousand thoughts swarming my mind.

I am pregnant.

Jaehyun didn’t even look at me.

I belong to the Kangs.

Yunah knows.

"Can I use your phone?" I ask and Chan fishes out his phone from his pocket and hands it to me without saying anything.

I click on the phone icon and dial in Yunah’s number, a contact I have saved in my head.

The dial tone follows and I bow my head, tuning out the noise of the restaurant, it rings but she doesn’t accept the call.

I dial the number again and still, no response.

I silently hand the phone back to its owner.

"You should eat, you will need a lot of energy" Chan says, pushing the steaming bowl of ramyeon to me and I pick up my chopsticks to eat.

Each slurp of the noodles I take only makes the questions I have clearer and clearer.

I empty the bowl and push it slightly away from me, when I lift my eyes, I find Chan’s eyes on me.

"You should do more tests...for your baby’s safety" he says and I growl at him, uncaring of our location.

"I mean no harm, but your pup’s heart is weaker than it should be" he says and I remember.

Jellyfish.

"Why would that be?" I ask him, keeping my voice steady despite how scared I am.

The moon goddess has been giving me signs all along, has been telling me...the brightly glowing little jelly fish was my pup.

"You are...from what I can tell, three weeks along and you didn’t know" he says and I hiss.

"I’m saying, you need to prioritize your health and for the sake of the baby" he says with warm hazel eyes looking at my face.

"Then let me return" I say and his face goes blank.

"I can’t do that" he says softly.

"Why the hell not?" I ask, challenging him with the flash of my omega blue eyes.

He relaxes in his seat before running his finger through his hair.

"The abuse will be worse" he says, maintaining that soft tone.

"I knew you were an omega the day you returned to school after presenting" he says, bringing his voice low.

"I could smell it, rich and...beautiful" he adds and shuts his eyes.

My hands are starting to shake on my lap.

"I could also smell the blood on you, almost every day and when you disappear for days for your heat...all I smell was blood, blood and distress" he says.

"It is none of your business" I hiss and he sighs.

"I know, I know its not but...you were too precious, everything you forced your body to forget and become...I saw through it all" he says.

"And the day in the bathroom" his voice breaks.

"What day at the bathroom?" I ask with my eyes completely blue.

"I was the one who called the ambulance Yujun" he says and I sink into my seat

One of my locked away memories.

The day I lost the scent gland on my wrist.

The day I almost ended my life with a razor.

I remember clamping my mouth shut as blood oozed, it was after the first time an alpha paid to spend the heat with me.

I was young, I was...my stomach churns and I get up abruptly to find the bathroom.

The door has barely opened and I barely made it to the toilet bowl before I start to empty my stomach, heaving and retching pathetically.

Chan is behind me, standing over me like a shield as I puke all over the floor.

The action takes all my strength out of me, and I pass out like that.

I feel arms lifting and placing me away from the place where I made a mess.

I’m awake at the same time I’m not.

The alpha speaks in low voice, apologizing to staff for the mess I made as he gets to helping me to clean it up.

When he’s done.

He carries me and wipes my mouth with something wet...his jacket?

He holds me bridal style as he steps out of the bathroom, pressing my nose into his scent gland.

My body goes completely slack as his comforting ocean smell flood my senses.

"Yujun-ah, I’m going to take care of you" he says into my ear softly.

"I will make sure no one ever hurts you, I will make sure you never get hurt again" he says softly, stroking my hair lovingly.

He gets into the car and keeps me on his lap.

I’m so tired.

I want to get off, I want to curse at him for getting in my way.

Why did he save me?

Why didn’t he let me do what I wanted?

"Sleep now, everything is going to be okay, you’re with me now" he says.

"I don’t trust you" I manage to say weakly before exhaustion swallows me up and I go to sleep.