This Life, I Will Be the Protagonist-Chapter 275: Don’t Hate Yourself

Rita acknowledged that Jameson was right. Her caution and rationality were often just another way of saying she was afraid. The gap in strength was undeniable; Miyaas had lived for an unknown number of years, was a member of the Sea Monster Royal Family, and had been planning for this moment long in advance. Rita simply wasn’t strong enough to confront her head-on at the moment.

Moreover, the materials Jameson had mentioned were strange. Though they sounded precious and high-end, she had seen similar items in the auction house. They were expensive, sure, but all obtainable with gold.

It wasn’t necessary for the materials to be as rare as Dragon’s Blood Moon Sand, but for something as significant as evolving an S-rank talent, the materials shouldn’t be so common. Even Hecipah had never heard of such a method being used, and yet these were the items required?

She had already acquired two SS-rank Divine Gifts and one A-rank talent during the special period when Lania Kaia was being invaded, thanks to her Thief God talent, which she had already used to its utmost. Upgrading this talent would be good, but if it meant putting herself at risk, she would rather let the opportunity slip by.

When it came to Divine Gifts, Rita didn’t go into the details with Nivalis. She simply explained that their strength wasn’t enough yet. Nivalis didn’t get angry but instead patted Rita’s ear and comforted her, "You decide what you think is best."

Rita was a bit disappointed. She realized that, deep down, she had hoped Nivalis would scold her, wake her up. Jameson’s words had left a mark in her heart.

Once upon a time, Sanchez had said that she was like a warrior—nothing could break her. But after her rebirth, she realized that she wasn’t invincible. She could be broken, just as Jameson had said. She was shackled by countless things: caution, reason, restraint.

These chains had many nice names—caution, reason, self-control. While they protected her, they also took away something vital.

Sensing Rita’s mood, Nivalis dropped her disguise and flew up to Rita. Looking her in the eyes, Nivalis said, "Holy Cup told me that no matter how calm a heart is, it will eventually be ignited by something—whether sooner or later. Don’t hate yourself. You’re doing fine. You just haven’t been ignited yet."

Rita froze for a moment, unsure of how to respond. After a while, she suppressed the warmth and lump in her throat, managing to force a bright smile. "If that day comes, it’ll be because of you that I get ignited."

It was a joke, a quick reply from someone whose heart had grown cold and didn’t know how to react to kindness. But Nivalis responded seriously, "Okay, I’ll do my best."

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Rita patted Nivalis’s head, offering no more words and deciding not to waste time on unnecessary thoughts.

Miyaas’s remains were deep in the ocean. Following the coordinates Jameson provided, Rita set off toward the location. On the way, she messaged her grandmother, Eleanor, and requested two time-stopping preservation boxes. She had learned about these boxes when she visited Eleanor in B City—they could stop time within a certain area. Soon, Eleanor sent over two large boxes, each with two portions of noodles inside.

[Rita]: Thanks, Grandma.

[Eleanor]: Hmm, send me more dragon dung.

[Rita]: Okay.

Rita didn’t hesitate and directly sent over five boxes of dragon dung from her inventory. Afterward, she and Nivalis rested for a while in the bubble before continuing on their journey.

Miyaas’s remains were not far from a sunken ship. After spending so much time together, Nivalis had started becoming suspicious too. "Why hasn’t the future you come back to give you a hint?" she asked.

Rita responded, "Either everything goes smoothly, and there’s no need, or I’m dead."

Nivalis thought for a moment. "...Then remember to come pick me up at Dragon Island a year from now."

Rita nodded, "Sure. But do you think Holy Cup North Year will be upset if you turn into a dragon egg?"

Nivalis smiled brightly. "Nope! Holy Cup says I’m the cutest when I’m still in my dragon egg form. After I hatch, I’ll be no good. She loves me as an egg!"

Rita was left speechless. It was so odd to hear a child so pleased about being described as ’cute’ when in egg form.

The two of them spotted a giant whale’s carcass from afar, and based on the coordinates, it was the exact spot Jameson had mentioned. The whale’s body was largely intact, as though it had only just fallen.

As soon as Rita saw the whale, her Malicious Intent Detector went wild, vibrating intensely. But she didn’t get too close. She didn’t cut open the whale from a distance to search for the remains, nor did she try to enter through its mouth. Instead, she took out A Big World, A Small Me and aimed it at the whale.

One minute later, the whale shrank to the size of a car. Rita moved closer and kept shrinking it in stages. She wanted to shrink it all at once but was worried she might lose track of it in the deep sea. Slowly, step by step, she reduced the whale until it was about the size of a bun. Then, she quickly covered it with a preservation box, sealing it securely without touching it directly.

Her technique was a little like how she would catch cockroaches at home—meticulous and precise.

For a moment, the self-loathing she had felt earlier seemed like a distant memory. Honestly, this cautious approach was her comfort zone.

Why leave your comfort zone? Is there something wrong with staying comfortable?

With the preservation box in hand, Rita scanned the area, digging a deep pit where the coordinates pointed. She swam upwards, nearly reaching the surface, before confirming there were no other unusual objects around. Then, she and Nivalis headed back to the sunken ship where Jameson was.

She didn’t wake Jameson, nor did she step inside the cabin. Instead, she stood at the doorway, pulled out A Big World, A Small Me, and shrank the crystal coffin before swiftly using a phantom move to place it inside another preservation box.

With both old treasures in tow, she and Nivalis headed straight home via the teleportation portal to Lania Kaia.

Nivalis asked, "Where are we going? To Dragon Island?"

Rita shook her head after drinking a bottle of Gold-Class Assassin. Now that Nivalis was with her, she didn’t want to involve the elder dragons in every little matter. It was better to handle things herself, especially the dragon scales. She had to deal with that issue on her own.

After changing outfits, Rita disguised herself as a goblin and made Nivalis look like Bear Cookies to hide in her pocket. She quickly made three gold coins and then didn’t rush into trading with Jameson. Instead, she first made a stop at the auction house to buy a dandelion that could temporarily block information transmission.

Then, she bought a Master-grade Memory Gem from Hecipah. This gem would allow the user to select a concept and erase all memories related to it from another person.

Rita had considered erasing Jameson’s memories of her, but knowing Miyaas’s influence, she decided it was safer to erase all memories connected to her Thief God talent. Otherwise, if she only erased the answers without cutting off the reasoning trail, it would just lead Jameson to replay his little deduction game.

After booking a room at a hotel in the center of Midnight City, Rita locked the door and used the dandelion to fill the room with seeds. From now on, they could only communicate verbally; not even Rita could send messages through the game.

Finally, she took out Jameson’s crystal coffin, placed it in the preservation box, and enlarged it to the size of her shoe sole. She crouched down, lightly tapping on the lid, "Wake up."