The Young Miss Refuse To Love-Chapter 90: The truth

"But you can’t, Chengfeng," Qi Jianyi said, shaking her head as her hands flailed in denial. "You shouldn’t love me. Whatever you’re feeling for me right now, erase it," she added, her voice weary, tinged with exhaustion.

Her gaze was resolute, her expression set in stone as she prepared to push Song Chengfeng away. She had decided—it was better to hurt him now than to let him suffer even more in the future.

"Why?" Song Chengfeng asked, his voice rising with frustration. "Why can’t I love you, Qi Jianyi? Why do you hate my feelings so much? Why are you denying this?" He stepped closer, his determination unwavering.

Shaking her head, Qi Jianyi raised her eyes to meet his. "I’m not denying your feelings," she said, her voice steady yet soft. "I just want you to stop having them. Stop loving me, Chengfeng, or you will only end up hurt."

Her tone was laced with sincerity—a depth that Song Chengfeng had never heard from her before.

"The more you stay by my side, the more you will be hurt. I don’t want to waste your time or break your heart. So stop these emotions, move on, and let’s go back to the way things were. We’re still young, and there’s so much ahead of us. Let’s just... pretend like nothing ever happened," she continued, her words deliberate and cutting.

Song Chengfeng stared at her, disbelief etched across his face. His usually calm and composed demeanour shattered, leaving raw vulnerability exposed for her to see.

"I can’t say what the future holds, but right now... you’re already hurting me," he murmured, his voice trembling as he tried to hold himself together. His lashes quivered, his gaze searching hers for a glimmer of regret, but all he found was a cold resolve.

"It’s better for you to feel the pain now than to suffer even more later," Qi Jianyi replied, her voice devoid of warmth. Without sparing him another glance, she turned away, her shoulders stiff with finality.

She couldn’t face Song Chengfeng right now. Seeing his usual steady eyes falter with disbelief, and the way his body stiffened, affected by her cruel words, Qi Jianyi felt a sharp pain in her heart.

But this was for the best. For him. For them.

"Do you really have no feelings for me?" Song Chengfeng’s voice broke through the silence, stopping Qi Jianyi just as she was about to leave the ward room.

His eyes bore into her fragile back. Though Qi Jianyi had made her decision clear, Song Chengfeng couldn’t bring himself to accept it.

"You want to push me away because you don’t want me to get hurt. But why? Why are you protecting me? If you truly have no feelings for me, you wouldn’t even care," he said, stepping closer to her.

Reaching out, he touched her arm and gently pulled her to face him.

"Tell me," he continued, his voice trembling with both frustration and longing. "Are you disgusted with me? Does my approach repulse you so much that you can no longer stand me?"

"You know that’s not true," Qi Jianyi said, staring straight into his eyes.

"Then, why? Why are you pushing me away?" Song Chengfeng studied her face, looking for even a hint of reluctance in her eyes.

"I might be wrong, Qi Jianyi, but I know there’s a part of you— even if it’s just a little— that has feelings for me. Why are you trying so hard to bury it deep down instead of embracing it?" he asked, his voice desperate.

Smiling coldly, Qi Jianyi placed her hand over his, pulling it away from her arm.

"Because we’re just simply not meant for each other," she said, her words ruthless as she tried to keep her voice as cold as possible.

"I’m not afraid to get hurt! I want you. I want to be with you. Can’t you understand?" Song Chengfeng brushed his hair in irritation, his frustration palpable.

"I love you! Even if you push me away, that will never change my feelings for you. Why can’t you just be honest with your feelings? No— at least be honest with me." His voice trembled with desperation and exasperation.

All his emotions were mixing together. For the first time, the usually cold and collected young master faltered. He was scared— scared that Qi Jianyi was truly determined to throw him away. Song Chengfeng hated himself for pushing so hard.

"Song Chengfeng, can’t you see?" Qi Jianyi said softly. "You’re not yourself anymore. Loving me only ruins you. So stop."

She watched as the man before her seemed to crumble under the weight of his emotions.

The more Song Chengfeng acted this way, the more determined Qi Jianyi became. He was ruining himself just because she wanted to push him away.

Who knows how he would react if he knew the truth behind the woman he loved? That Qi Jianyi, the one he adored and wished to spend a life with, was someone from a different world, and they were destined to part ways sooner or later.

"I can’t stop, and I won’t stop," Song Chengfeng said, his voice trembling with doubt. "Why are you asking me to stop? Is my love for you not enough?"

His confidence wavered as the weight of his own feelings began to challenge his conviction.

Qi Jianyi raised her hand and gently rested it on his face, caressing his cheek. For once, she showed a mixture of remorse, reluctance, and determination.

"I can’t love you, Chengfeng. Just like how you can’t love me either," she softly uttered, her eyes reddened as they locked onto his.

"Why?" Song Chengfeng asked, placing his hand over hers. His eyes, once unreadable, now revealed vulnerability.

"It’s just the way it is. Fate..." Qi Jianyi replied with a smile, even though she despised herself for saying those words.

"We can make it until fate sides with us..." He insisted, his voice trembling with emotion.

"I can’t," she shook her head, brushing aside his words as if they held no weight.

She couldn’t choose him. Not Song Chengfeng, not over her family.

"Can’t you just tell me what you’re hiding? Let me help you. Let me, please..." For a moment, Qi Jianyi wondered if she was hearing things. Was this man before her begging?

Seeing the bewilderment in her eyes, Song Chengfeng pressed on, "If you really want to push me away, please—give me a valid reason to do so."

Qi Jianyi’s breath caught in her throat as she heard his plea, her heart aching with each word he spoke.

"I..." She paused, struggling to keep her composure. Her gaze dropped to their hands, still entwined. "I can’t tell you, Chengfeng. Not because I don’t want to, but because there’s too much at stake. Things... things I can’t change, no matter how much I wish I could."

Song Chengfeng’s grip tightened slightly, his thumb brushing the back of her hand in an almost comforting gesture. He leaned in, his voice low but insistent.

"Qi Jianyi, I don’t care about stakes. I care about you. I’ve always cared about you. You don’t have to face this alone. Let me share your burden."

"You don’t understand," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. "You can’t. This is something I have to do on my own."

For a brief moment, silence enveloped them, thick with the weight of unspoken words. Qi Jianyi took a step back, but she didn’t walk away.

Song Chengfeng’s eyes darkened as he watched her, his heart heavy with the weight of her silence. He couldn’t let her retreat. Not now. Not when the truth was just out of reach.

"Jianyi," he said, his voice soft but insistent, filled with a desperation that hadn’t been there before. "Please... I need you to tell me. Whatever it is you’re hiding, I need to know. You think you’re protecting me, but you’re not. You’re only hurting yourself. And me. You can’t keep carrying this burden on your own."

Qi Jianyi’s shoulders stiffened. She wanted to refuse, to shut him out completely, but his words, his tone—so raw, so filled with pain—made it harder to keep the wall intact. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting the turmoil inside her.

"I don’t want to hurt you," she finally spoke, her voice trembling just enough for him to catch it. "But if you knew... if you really knew, you would never look at me the same way again." She whispered the words, as though speaking them aloud made them more real, more dangerous.

"Then let me be the one to decide how I see you," he replied firmly, stepping closer.

His hand hovered near hers, but he didn’t touch her just yet. "I’m not afraid of your problems, Jianyi. I never was. And I won’t leave you, no matter what it is. But you have to trust me. You have to trust that I can handle it."

Qi Jianyi felt her breath catch again. His sincerity, his unwavering conviction, made her doubt herself for the first time in a long while. She turned slightly to face him, her expression pained, her heart in turmoil.

"I..." She hesitated, not sure if she should give in.

"Tell me, Jianyi. Tell me, and I promise if it’s something that I can’t handle, I’ll disappear in your life for good," he urged gently, his voice barely a whisper now, as though afraid to push her too far but unwilling to give up. "But, if it is something that I can help you with, let me stay by your side."

For a long time, Qi Jianyi looked at him, her gaze steady, almost as if trying to burn the image of the man before her into her memory.

This man—this man who openly declared his love, who fought for what he wanted no matter how much he was pushed away.

The man who boldly proclaimed that he didn’t make wishes because he always got what he wanted on his own.

But she knew, deep down, that the truth would shatter him.

"Song Chengfeng," she whispered, her voice barely audible but filled with a sorrowful finality.

"I am not Qi Jianyi."

Her words hung heavy in the air, each syllable a weight she had carried for too long, a burden she could no longer keep to herself. The man before her, the one she had come to care for, was about to face a truth far more cruel than she ever wished to reveal.

This 𝓬ontent is taken from fre𝒆webnove(l).𝐜𝐨𝗺