RED NOTES AND KISSES-Chapter 53: LAZ -

"How much?" Her voice was so quiet that if not for how keenly he was listening, it would have been swallowed by the wind, which howled like a wounded animal through the drenched streets.

"Frida, I-I..." His voice cracked, the words dying in his throat.

"How much was I worth to you, Laz?" It was the first time he’d ever heard raw pain in her voice, and it pierced through him like shards of glass. frёewebnoѵel.ƈo๓

The storm raged above them, lightning tearing across the sky, briefly illuminating the anguish carved into her face.

The rain was relentless, drumming against the pavement, cascading down their bodies, but it was nothing compared to the storm inside him.

And he caused it.

It was his fault.

The air was thick with the scent of wet earth and regret, her red-rimmed eyes staring through him like he was the ghost of someone she used to trust, his fault.

"I know I don’t deserve for you to even listen to me." His voice was barely a whisper, trembling against the cacophony of rain and wind.

But she wasn’t finished.

"How much was our friendship worth to your little bet?" Her voice cracked, and her words sliced through the air, raw and jagged.

The rain clung to her like the weight of her heartbreak, mixing with the tears streaming down her face.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the weight of his guilt lodged in his throat like a stone, suffocating him.

"How did you feel when I fell so easily into your lap? Was I too easy?" she screamed, her voice rising above the thunder’s roar, her sobs blending with the sky’s fury.

He staggered forward, his steps heavy as though the rain itself had become a chain around his legs.

His trembling hand reached for her. "You’re not... You’re not. I swear you’re not." His voice cracked, pleading, his desperation as loud as the storm.

"Did you laugh with them?" she demanded, her words venomous, spitting into the night. "When you told them I kissed you and believed you liked me, did you think I was cheap?"

"No!" His voice broke completely as he grasped her wrist. Her skin was cold beneath his touch, like ice, and it sent a shiver of shame through him. "I swear, Frida, you mean so much to me."

"Stop!" she screamed, ripping her wrist away from his grasp. Her voice was a raw, desperate cry, echoing into the storm. "Stop!" She clutched at her hair, her fingers trembling. "Stop!"

The rain poured harder, a deafening roar against the pavement, but all he could hear was her anguish.

Tears streamed freely down his face, indistinguishable from the rain. Without thinking, he dropped to his knees.

The icy water pooled around him, soaking through his pants, but he didn’t care.

"I’m sorry," he choked out, his voice trembling with despair. "I was so stupid, and yes, it was wrong, but I didn’t... I didn’t think..."

"You didn’t think what, Laziel?" she cried, her voice cracking with anguish, blending with the thunder as though nature itself wept with her.

His heart felt as if it were being torn apart, each word she spoke driving the knife deeper.

"I didn’t think I was in love with you," he whispered, the words tumbling out in broken fragments.

His breath fogged in the cool air as he tried to explain. "I didn’t think I’d come to love your eyes. I didn’t think I’d come to love your smile. I didn’t think I’d come to love just being close to you. And I thought it was okay because I didn’t think..."

She hugged herself tightly, her arms wrapping around her soaked frame, trembling against the cold rain. Her gaze was unrelenting, her hurt evident in every fiber of her being.

His hands, trembling, circled her thigh as he rested his head against her knee.

His voice cracked, barely audible over the rain. "I didn’t think you’d like me too."

She shut her eyes, letting the rain beat down on her, as if hoping it could wash away the pain. Her voice was calm but resolute, each word striking him like a hammer. "I don’t want to see you again."

The words hit him like a physical blow. "Frida..." His voice was desperate, broken, unrecognizable even to himself.

She stepped back, her movements sharp and deliberate, as though his touch was poison. His hands fell limply to his sides.

"I don’t want to hear your voice," she said coldly, her eyes glinting like shards of broken glass.

Her gaze cut through him, leaving him hollow. "I don’t want to be anywhere near you."

"Frida... what am I going to do without you?" he asked, his voice trembling, his mind spiraling. The thought was unbearable. "I’ve never been without you since we took our first steps. How am I supposed to-"

"That’s exactly the reason!" she screamed, her voice raw with fury. "How am I supposed to live in the same spaces we’ve shared all our lives, knowing this same person thought I was nothing but a bet with his friends?"

Her voice cracked, and she gestured wildly, the rain dripping from her fingertips. "That this person thought my heart was a toy to play with? God, I thought this only happened in those dumb movies we used to laugh about."

Her words twisted the knife further, and she took a deep, trembling breath.

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why would you do this to me, Laz?"

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t think he could say anything to make this right.

"I don’t deserve your forgiveness," he muttered, almost to himself. "I was an idiot. I don’t deserve you. But I don’t want to experience being without you either."

"Then tell me you didn’t do it," she said quietly, her voice a broken plea. "Tell me Grey’s lying. Tell me that being with you all these years wasn’t a joke."

But the silence that followed was damning.

She nodded, as if confirming her worst fears. "That’s what I thought." Her voice was steady now, eerily calm. "I’d prefer if you didn’t speak to me again. Really. So I can’t remember you told me you loved me."

Then she turned and walked away.

The storm swallowed her as she left, her silhouette dissolving into the rain like a memory he couldn’t hold onto.

He stayed there, kneeling in the pooling water, the rain battering his back like punishment, watching her disappear. His world crumbled with each step she took.

And as she vanished into the storm, he realized he might never put the pieces back together.