I'm an Infinite Regressor, But I've Got Stories to Tell-Chapter 389

WeTried Translations

Translator: ZERO_SUGAR

Chapter 389

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The Suicidal VII

People each had a role of their own.

Even when my voice failed to reach anyone, when nobody cared, a moment always came when I had to accept that role for myself.

“Mmff, brbrmmf brrmf!”

So I fought back.

The obstacle sealing up my body and my mouth was Lee Ha-yul’s Puppet Thread, the strongest fiber known on Earth.

No matter how wildly I, the Undertaker, writhed about to prove the earthworm DNA stamped onto my genes, snapping that thing was nearly impossible.

But if I drew on aura here—!

“Shh, quiet.”

Noh Do-hwa, seated right beside me, murmured into my ear.

“Please stay still, Mr. Undertaker.”

“Mmrf?”

“You aren’t really going to toss aside the grand cause of sealing Leviathan and unleash your aura just to defend your rights in this chaos… are you?”

“…”

“Hehe. Kidding. I know better than anyone you’re not that vulgar, Mr. Undertaker.”

Oh, heavens above!

“Hol-o-oon a min-uut-e!”

Thud. Someone sprang up in the conference room; a white sailor uniform fluttered.

It was Cheon Yo-hwa, who an hour earlier had dragged hundreds of Baekhwa Girls’ High students into the “Busan Landing Operation.”

“First off, I hate this seating plan. Why is that girl sitting next to Teacher like it’s natural?”

Cheon Yo-hwa’s crimson eyes burned.

She had already dunked one person on the way here, and you could almost feel her resolve not to miss a two-for-one sale on adding another.

“Vacate Teacher’s left and right seats. Now. Or it’s war.”

“Uh, President Cheon Yo-hwa? Over just that? Are you serious?”

“Why? Need proof?”

“Ah—so you are serious. Very well. This court orders both seats beside the defendant, the Undertaker, to be cleared immediately.”

Bang bang—the gavel sound effect rang.

“Hng.”

Noh Do-hwa flashed a smiling gaze, feigned regret, and slid one seat over.

Cheon Yo-hwa still snorted but closed her lips. Sealed or not, “intent to kill” and “murderous aura” were already manifesting around her, so it hardly mattered.

“Thank you for tidying the seats. Now, as pre-agreed, the Saintess will speak first.”

Bow.

The Saintess opposite us stood and dipped her head.

Incidentally, only yesterday Dang Seo-rin had swallowed the red pill that no Constellation existed and the Saintess was acting, and, on top of that, learned the Undertaker was a regressor. Fainting again after that one-two mental punch was no surprise.

“Honourable Judge, esteemed jurors, I must first remind everyone that thanks to Noh Do-hwa an old promise among us has been broken.”

Huh, an old promise?

“Indeed!”

I had no clue what she meant, yet assent exploded across the room.

Cheon Yo-hwa even looked ready to tie on a red band and start picketing, and nearly every attendee nodded.

“Your Honour, on this side contract I request testimony from the witness holding the document.”

“Request granted.”

Apparently I alone was ignorant of this “promise,” for Oh Dok-seo smoothly produced something.

The evidence looked painfully familiar.

“Mmgh?”

“A laptop?”

Yes, the Infinite Metagame Admin’s laptop.

Oh Dok-seo toggled the power, and

[lolololololololol]

—as if the camera had watched everything—the desktop wallpaper was plastered with ‘lol’.

[I-knew-it-lol] [If you’re an Outer God watching this, smash that like] [I’ll go first lol] [Mastermind: the GOAT ‘Faker’ Cheon Yo-hwa] [We worship]

[What-you-staring-at?] [Not-done-laughing-yet]

[lolololololololololololololololol]

That… that little—

“Ahem, witness. This is a court. Unrelated comments are excess, please refrain.”

[Oh my. Do you speak, O glorious Judge, vaster than the cosmos itself?]

“Yes. Since your marinade’s still raw, next time we’ll feed you only sub-two-star Three Kingdoms fanfics on SG Net before AI training.”

[Apologies……]

Are you doing that behind my back, Dok-seo?

“Everyone here’s busy. Testify quickly.”

[Yes.]

Cha-ak. The white-haired noblewoman on-screen hid her lips behind a fan, the tinny speaker filled the room.

[As the Judge already knows, this ‘side contract’ was drafted in the 925th cycle.]

The 925th cycle, the run where the Infinite Metagame Admin surrendered to me, when the Invisible Dragon rampaged in the Daegu desert.

[Similar verbal pacts existed previously.]

[But once I grew ‘safe’ by surrendering, I was officially entrusted with safekeeping the document.]

Oh Dok-seo nodded.

“Please state its contents plainly, witness.”

[Certainly. The side contract is:]

[A pact that until we’re clear of complete world destruction, no one will actively form a romantic relationship with the regressor, the Undertaker.]

[More exactly, until he himself sincerely seeks romance, we won’t force anything on him.]

[And the one who proposed this was the serialization dropper posing on the bench—]

“The Three Kingdoms.”

[—but actually a perfect grand writer with unmatched talent: Oh Dok-seo.]

???

[The grand writer feared that even a hairline crack could shatter the regressor party.]

[Thus Grand Writer Oh Dok-seo…]

“Yo, my GOAT. What’s up?”

[I feel rather like you. What is it, miko brat?]

“Since you surrendered, you can inherit documents next run like an ark outside time, right?”

[Restrictions exist, but broadly yes. Why?]

“Then could you sneak over files besides the old man’s chronicle?”

[Possible, but nothing harmful to the Undertaker—surrender’s condition.]

“Fine, that part’s okay.”

[……?]

“Because the file helps him.”

[……??]

“So, Saintess unni, here’s my idea: we draft an agreement and pass it to our next-run selves.”

“…”

“Honestly, how busy is the old man? Even ten bodies fall short. If some emotional bomb drops? Haah. Were I him I’d quit.”

“…So wishes to deepen ties with the Undertaker are postponed until the world-ending threat is gone—yes?”

“Yup!”

“I think it’s a fine idea.”

“Knew it! Now, I’m most worried about President Cheon Yo-hwa. Help me persuade her—”

“All right! Everyone gather!”

“…”

“…”

“You’ve all read the contract. I’ll read it: The seven of us—Saintess, Noh Do-hwa, Cheon Yo-hwa, Sim Ah-ryeon, Yu Ji-won, Lee Ha-yul, and Oh Dok-seo—swear to guard this pact. We shall not deepen relations with the Undertaker into true romance, and if any of us breaks it, we’ll actively exclude her. Uh, yes, Ha-yul?”

[Why’s Seo-rin unni missing?]

“Ah. Dang Seo-rin isn’t in the Regression Alliance. Even if we sign in the 925th cycle, she won’t hear it in the 926th. She’s already limited, forcing this too would be cruel.”

[Okay. Got it.]

“Great. Continuing. Even someone like me, without feelings, must watch the signatories faithfully—oh, crap. Ah-ryeon unni?”

“Um, well, w-what if Dang Seo-rin makes the first move on Guild Leader and he gives in?”

“Uh… I combed the past and that never happened.”

“T-that’s past. I’m talking future… maybe that’s too hard for you… hmm…”

“Ah. Damn. Fine. Ah-ryeon unni has a point. If that happens, we meet fast and plan. Okay?”

“Umm… y-yes…”

“And! Never! Tell the old man this happened! Ever!”

“W-why?”

“Because I ship Nohtaker; if he learns we schemed, he’ll just start dating Seo-rin unni to end everything.”

“…”

“…”

“Guys, don’t look at me like that, okay? My motives don’t matter, only helping him does. No? I’m the only trash? I’m giving you hope—maybe not now but someday—through this contract! You should thank me! None of you would tolerate two-timing anyway!”

“T-trash…”

“Oh. Fine.”

“Then let him date, wipe love each run, and enjoy full-course despair.”

“…”

“A tragedy? Great. All his efforts end in love a regressor can’t keep. My taste too. Let’s have kids. Why not? Hey, decide order. President Cheon Yo-hwa, you date him next run!”

“…”

“Then Ms. Ji-won. Then Saintess unni. One love, one despair. Infinite failure. Masterpiece, right?”

“…”

“A man repeating life for a fleeting moment with his beloved. That’s essentially Schopenhauer, isn’t it? See! He was right! The old man suffered 900-plus runs for nothing. Right, Sim Ah-ryeon? Hey! Sim Ah-ryeon!”

“I misspoke.”

“Good. Sign. I don’t care if you’re an empress or King Sejong. I just want this story’s end, real life gives enough stupid angst.”

“…”

“Ah, signing’s optional. Except the next-run me inherits it. So… please. Unnies. Ha-yul. Even if we hate each other sometimes, let’s not wound one another behind the curtain. Please.”

Silence fell on the room.

“…”

“…”

People each had a role of their own.

Even if their voices reached no one, when nobody noticed, a moment came when they accepted that role.

Oh Dok-seo was the same.

“We’re all patients, infected by Void Poison to some extent.”

From the bench, Oh Dok-seo rested her chin, fatigued yet sharp-eyed.

“We all know we’re partly insane. Once emotion hits, you want to possess, monopolise, feelings so fierce they barely seem human; sometimes you’d hand yourself over to them.”

“…”

“But, are you sure you can handle it?”

Her fingers stroked the laptop.

“Almost everyone here is a shrine maiden. Are you certain the feelings you have are truly yours alone, untouched by the Void?”

“…”

“Let’s delay things a bit.”

Thud. Oh Dok-seo shut the laptop.

“For us, twenty years tops. Mister waited tens of thousands. I don’t know love well, but I know promising to walk the same timeline is part of it.”

“…”

“When every last bit of the Void is gone and humans can face humans properly, we’ll pick up the epilogue then.”

Her gaze drifted once around the room and settled on me.

She shrugged.

“Sorry, Mister. I’d rather you not see us like this, but here we are.”

“…”

“No, that’s cowardly. Truth is, I showed you on purpose. I figured you suspected, but I wanted to jolt you harder.”

The Puppet Thread sealing my mouth came loose on its own. I spoke.

“Was I too naive?”

“No, too trusting. It’s your best and worst point.”

Oh Dok-seo sighed.

“To you, twenty years is a blink, but for most, waiting that long in silence rots them inside.”

“…”

“I hated piling more weight on you, but hiding it felt ruder. So I used shock therapy.”

She scratched her cheek.

“If you show zero interest in romance, everyone copes, focuses on work. But when Dang Seo-rin gets close, dominoes fall, some lose control.”

“…”

“And asking you to pick one person now, before averting the apocalypse, is cruel. Embarrassing. So… sorry, Mister. This was my real aim.”

Oh Dok-seo spoke.

“Couldn’t Seo-rin unni join the Regression Alliance and stand with us?”

I paused.

Her eyes, tinged with some sorrow, faced me squarely.

“Inside your heart, the final words ten-run-ago Seo-rin unni left… let’s finally let them rest.”

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