I WAS The Rank–1 Hero-Chapter 173: Act 1: True Self

You see enough darkness. And one day you stop seeing the line between justice and cruelty.

I've seen enough shit in my life.

I've been through too much. I thought I had suffered enough.

Sure, I made it out of some of it. And the thought of taking revenge on the ones who caused it… it still lingers.

I do want to tear them apart, limb from limb. But I haven't.

Because I know... if I do that, then I won't be any different from them.

That's how my mind works. That's how I work.

Killing someone was never something I was born with.

They were the ones who taught me that.

I never liked it to begin with.

I didn't feel satisfied killing Glory that day, and I never will.

What's the point? What was the motive? Would anything change after it?

Nothing.

They stayed the same. You kill one Glory, and they'll raise another to take his place.

Things don't change just by ending them. Cutting ties with it all doesn't fix the scars.

What changes... is the regret of not stopping them sooner.

The regret of not stopping what they became.

Slowly blinking her eyes, I saw her glance at the moon.

She reached toward it like a child. Like she wanted to hold it.

"I still haven't get to reach you," Nyth whispered.

A tear slid down her newly formed cheek.

She turned her head toward me, sorrow written across her face. Her lips trembled.

"Why?" she asked.

That's what she wanted to know.

Why did I bring her back?

To kill her again, right?

Couldn't she just rest in peace?

Hadn't she suffered enough?

Was death all she wanted in the end?

Or was it something else… mercy, or someone to finally feel what she'd endured?

And in that moment, I remembered Agroth's words:

"She's someone who's just lost. Please treat her well."

"So that's why you chose her." I murmured to myself.

You wanted to pull her back to the light, didn't you?

"Haahaa..." I let out a breath. It almost sounded like laughter.

But in the end, you failed. Miserably.

You didn't muster the strength to stop her. You just acted weak. You let her walk that path, thinking she'd realize where it led.

"What a childish god you are."

You're no different from a father… wanting to see his daughter smile one last time.

It's laughable to me.

A god acting this miserably?

I looked down at the girl on the floor.

"You know," I said, "Agroth deeply cared for you. He wanted to be your light. But he failed."

"No—" she said, eyes widening, but I cut her off.

"He failed to teach you. It was his fault. All of it."

"Stop..." she whispered. Her voice cracked.

"You were never alone."

"..."

"You had a father. He sacrificed himself for you. A being powerful enough to rewrite the world's very mechanism… and he lost. To his daughter."

"I SAID STOP!"

Nyth broke into a cry.

A loud, cracked sob that echoed across the area.

Still laying on the ground, her shoulders trembled, and the tears kept falling without any control.

Like everything she had buried finally clawed its way out.

I just stood there, watching her fall apart.

And I felt it. All of it. That same pain. That same rage. A part of me wanted to cry too—just a little. But I didn't let it come.

In crouched down on the floor.

"Zane."

Ruby's voice came from behind me.

She looked… worried.

Slowly walking towards me, she first glanced at me, and then to the floor on Nyth.

"What are you going to do now?"

She asked me.

I didn't answer right away.

Everything inside me was pulling in a different direction.

She killed my sister.

I don't know what to do.

One part of me wanted to finish it. To prove she wasn't forgiven. That pain couldn't be erased with pity.

But another part, the one that had just seen that memory,

That part wasn't so sure anymore.

"What should I do?" I asked Ruby.

She did tell me to reach out to her, whenever I was in any darkness. That she would be my light.

I know this wasn't my Ruby, whom I love. But still, I asked her.

Ruby crouched beside me.

She looked at me.

Then, softly, she asked,

"What would Elise have done?"

That stopped everything.

"...What?"

Ruby nodded once, slowly.

"She was your sister. But she wasn't like you. You know what she would've done. Even if it hurts. Even if it killed her."

"She would've forgiven her."

Those words felt like a slap I didn't want to take.

"Elise was the kind of person who believed anyone could be saved. Even someone who'd hurt her."

I looked down. My jaw clenched, and my throat tightened.

"She wasn't weak," Ruby continued. "She just... chose to carry other people's pain, even if it crushed her."

I let out a bitter breath.

"That's exactly what got her killed."

I know her, better than anyone.

Ruby's gaze lowered. "Maybe. But if she were here, right now… she'd look at Nyth, and say it wasn't too late."

I looked at Nyth again, who was still crying.

And just like that, I saw a little kid in her, a kid who had suffered her whole life. Whom even death didn't accept.

"I'm not Elise," I said.

"No," Ruby said. "You're not. But you still carry her voice, don't you?"

I stared at the ground for a while. Before I softly said.

"Yes… I do."

Maybe this was right.

I don't want to deny it further. To keep running away from everything.

I will stop pretending now.

From now on, I won't pretend that all of this will somehow make me strong.

It will not!

And that's the truth. It never made me strong. Whenever I killed someone from the Association, I kept myself hidden.

Surely, I was scared of them hurting my loved ones, but… is that truly the case?

It's as if I was waiting for a miracle to make me stronger, and one day out of nowhere I woke up and took my revenge.

Bullshit!

I never tried.

I never learnt.

I just kept running away.

Humanities Hope?

What a joke.

To be fair, I never deserved that title, I never wanted to protect anyone.

I never asked for these powers. For all those fame.

I deserve none of it.

What's the point of having it, of all I do was to just keep it hidden and stop fighting evils.

Enough with that!

I stood up slowly, as the weight settled in my chest.

"I don't forgive you," I said, my voice low and steady.

Nyth flinched but didn't speak.

Ruby watched me.

"..."

"I don't think I ever will."

I looked down at her.

"But I'm not going to kill you."

I don't want to.

She looked up, confused.

"Because if I did… I'd be no better than the ones who made you like this."

I took a step back.

"You wanted someone to feel what you felt. You wanted someone to accept you."

I shook my head.

"And all it ever did was make sure no one felt anything at all. You lost yourself, and that's the truth."

I made my decision.

"You'll live, and not to suffer, but to find a reason to be better."

Then I whispered, almost too quiet to hear.

"I'm tired of hating everything."

Ruby didn't say anything.

She just stepped closer.

Her hand hovered for a second. Then rested lightly on my arm.

"Let's go home," Ruby said.

I nodded, turning around from Nyth.

Her sobs still reach my ears, and I don't know what she will do from now on. But I'm certain it would be something which will make Agroth proud again.

Ruby walked beside me, neither of us saying much.

Just as I stepped beyond the outskirt of the broken manor, a voice came from behind me.

"W-Wait!"

It was Nyth.

But I didn't turn.

There was nothing more I needed to say.

"You did great," said Ruby. "As your Headmistress… I'm proud of you."

That's all I needed to hear.

I hoped… with this, everything would finally start falling back into place.

And with that, I made a mental note.

From now on, I'll stop running.

If the Heroes or the government won't do anything about the injustice in this world.

Then I will.

From the moment I step back into my real world… I'll clean this fucked up world.

"Ruby—"

As I looked at Ruby to say something, a blue screen popped up in between us.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

Trial Complete

Act 1: Powerless — Cleared

Primary Objective: [Find Your True Self]

Progress: 100%

→ Objective Cleared.

→ Skill Unlocked: <?? Rank??>

Bonus Objective: [Uncover the Death]

Progress: 100%

→ Skill Unlocked: <Death Domain — S Rank>

All rewards will reflect in the real world.

Exit Point: Unlocked

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

[Would you like to exit the trial?]

[Yes] [No]

It was time.

"What happened?" Ruby asked.