Dear Roommate Please Stop Being Hot [BL]-Chapter 276: Uncertain, Together

The thing about living with someone is that you start noticing patterns.

Small things. The way Noel’s jaw tightens when he’s stressed but won’t admit it.

How he reorganizes the bookshelf when he’s anxious.

The particular silence that means he’s overthinking something but doesn’t know how to voice it.

Luca noticed on a Tuesday evening, three weeks into the semester.

Noel had been quiet all day—responses shorter than usual, smiles not quite reaching his eyes, that distant look that meant his mind was somewhere else entirely.

"You okay?" Luca asked over dinner, some pasta dish Noel had made on autopilot.

"Fine."

"You’ve said three words since you got home."

"I’m tired."

"That’s two more words. Progress."

Noel’s lips quirked slightly, but it wasn’t really a smile. "Sorry. Just... a lot on my mind."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not yet."

Luca let it go. Sometimes Noel needed time to process before speaking. That was fine.

Except two days later, the distance was still there.

Thursday evening, Luca came home to find Noel at his laptop, frowning at something with that expression that meant he’d been staring at the screen for hours without actual progress.

"Hey," Luca said, dropping his bag. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"Since I got back. Around four."

Luca checked his phone. Seven-thirty. "That’s three and a half hours. Have you eaten?"

"Not hungry."

"Noel."

"I need to finish this."

"What is it?"

"Capstone research. My advisor wants a progress update Monday and I’m nowhere near where I should be."

Luca moved behind him, looking at the screen—a document with maybe two paragraphs of actual writing, the rest just scattered notes and highlighted passages from research papers.

"Okay," Luca said carefully. "Take a break. Eat something. Come back to it after."

"I don’t have time for breaks."

"You’re not being productive right now anyway. You’re just staring."

"I’m thinking."

"You’re spiraling."

Noel’s shoulders tensed. "I’m trying to work. Can you just... let me work?"

The edge in his voice was unexpected. Sharp enough that Luca stepped back slightly.

"Okay," he said quietly. "I’ll be in the bedroom if you need anything."

He left Noel to his laptop, to his stress, to whatever was clearly eating at him beyond just capstone research.

In the bedroom, Luca tried to focus on his own reading but couldn’t.

His mind kept drifting back to Noel’s tone, the distance that had been growing for days, the feeling that something was wrong but he didn’t know what.

Around nine, his phone rang. Uncle Jeff name lit up the screen.

"Hey, uncle Jeff."

"Luca. How are you?"

"Good. Busy with school. You?"

"Same. Work is consuming everything." A pause. "I haven’t heard from you in a while. Wanted to check in."

They talked for twenty minutes—jeff asking about classes, about Noel, about plans after graduation that Luca still didn’t have solid answers for.

"You sound stressed," jeff observed.

"Just school stuff."

"Is Noel okay? You mentioned him but your tone changed."

Sometimes Luca forgot how perceptive Jeff could be when he chose to pay attention.

"I don’t know," Luca admitted. "He’s been different lately. Distant. I think something’s bothering him but he won’t talk about it."

"Have you asked?"

"Yeah. He says he’s fine."

"And you believe him?"

"No."

Jeff was quiet for a moment. "Relationships require patience, Luca. Sometimes people need space to work through things internally before they can articulate them. Give him time. But also... don’t let him shut you out completely. There’s a balance."

"How do I find that balance?"

"Carefully. With attention. By being present without being pushy."

After they hung up, Luca sat with that advice, turning it over in his mind.

Be present without being pushy.

He found Noel still at his laptop, though the document looked exactly the same as before.

"Hey," Luca said from the doorway.

Noel glanced up, exhaustion evident. "Hey."

"I made tea. Want some?"

"Sure."

In the kitchen, Luca prepared two cups—chamomile for Noel because it helped him sleep, peppermint for himself because he liked the taste.

They sat at their small table, both cradling warm mugs, the apartment quiet except for the distant hum of traffic outside.

"I’m not trying to push," Luca said eventually. "But I can tell something’s wrong. And I want to help. Even if helping just means sitting here while you drink tea."

Noel stared into his mug. "I don’t know how to explain it."

"Try anyway."

"It’s just..." Noel exhaled slowly. "Everything feels like it’s moving too fast. School, capstone, graduation approaching. And I don’t know what comes after. I don’t have a plan. I’ve always had a plan."

"Okay."

"That’s it? Just okay?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don’t know. Something that fixes it."

"I can’t fix it. But I can listen."

Noel was quiet for a long moment. "My advisor asked what my career goals are. Where I see myself in five years. And I realized I have no idea. I thought I wanted to work in international trade, but now I’m not sure. And without that certainty, everything feels... untethered."

"So you’re having an existential crisis."

"I guess."

"About your future."

"About everything."

Luca reached across the table, taking Noel’s hand. "Can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"I have no idea what I’m doing either. Like, none. Zero plan. My dad keeps asking about my career trajectory and I keep changing the subject because I genuinely don’t know."

"That’s not reassuring."

"It’s not supposed to be reassuring. It’s supposed to be honest." Luca squeezed his hand. "We’re allowed to not have everything figured out. That’s not failure. That’s being human."

"But you seem fine with it. The uncertainty."

"I’m not fine with it. I’m terrified. But being terrified doesn’t change anything, so I might as well just... keep moving forward and figure it out as I go."

"That sounds chaotic."

"It is chaotic. But also kind of freeing? Like, if I don’t know what comes next, then anything is possible. That’s scary but also exciting."

Noel considered this. "How did you get so philosophical?"

"Spending too much time with you. Your overthinking is contagious."

"That’s not a compliment."

"It’s an observation."

They sat in silence, both processing, the tea gradually cooling.

"I’m sorry," Noel said finally. "For being distant. For snapping at you earlier."

"It’s okay."

"It’s not okay. You were trying to help and I was an ass."

"You were stressed. There’s a difference."

"Still."

"Noel." Luca waited until he looked up. "We’re going to be okay. Both of us. Together. Even if we don’t know exactly what okay looks like yet."

"You sound very certain."

"I am very certain. About us, at least. Everything else can be figured out later."

Something in Noel’s expression softened. "When did you become the optimistic one?"

"Around the same time you became the anxious one. We’re balancing each other."

"That’s not how balance works."

"That’s exactly how balance works."

Noel smiled—small but genuine, the first real smile Luca had seen in days.

"Come on," Luca said, standing. "Forget the capstone for tonight. Let’s watch something mindless and go to bed early."

"I should work—"

"You should rest. The work will still be there tomorrow. But you won’t be useful if you’re this exhausted."

"When did you start quoting my own advice back at me?"

"The moment it became relevant."

They ended up on the couch, some documentary playing that neither really watched, Noel eventually falling asleep with his head on Luca’s shoulder.

Luca stayed awake longer, thinking about uncertainty and futures and how strange it was that they’d both changed so much without really noticing.

Noel used to be the calm one, the planner, the person with answers.

Luca used to be scattered, directionless, content to drift.

Now they’d somehow switched roles—or maybe not switched, maybe just... evolved into different versions of themselves. Versions that still fit together but in a new way.

Growth was weird like that.

The next morning, Friday, Noel woke up on the couch with a blanket draped over him and Luca already in the kitchen making coffee.

"Morning," Luca said, pouring two cups. "Sleep okay?"

"Better than I have all week." Noel accepted the coffee, taking a sip. "Thank you."

"Mhm"

"About last night. For not letting me self-destruct. For being patient."

"That’s what we do. Take care of each other."

"Yeah. We do."

They had breakfast together—actual breakfast, not rushed, both of them having light class schedules that allowed for slower mornings.

"I’m meeting with my advisor today," Noel said. "Going to be honest about where I’m actually at with research instead of pretending I’m further along."

"That’s good."

"Terrifying but good."

"Want me to wait for you after? We could grab lunch."

"Yeah. I’d like that."

Later that afternoon, Luca was in the library when his phone buzzed.

Noel: meeting went better than expected. advisor was understanding

Luca: told you it would be ok

Noel: you didn’t say that

Luca: I implied it

Noel: that’s not the same thing

Luca: close enough

Noel: meet at the café in 20?

Luca: see you there

The café was crowded with Friday afternoon energy—students celebrating the approaching weekend, conversations loud and overlapping.

Noel looked lighter than he had in days, some of the tension gone from his shoulders.

"So?" Luca asked as they found a table.

"He said it’s normal to feel lost at this stage. That the research process is iterative and I’m actually making good progress, I just can’t see it yet because I’m too close to it."

"Sounds wise."

"Very wise. Also said I need to stop being such a perfectionist."

"I could have told you that for free."

"You have told me that. Repeatedly."

"And yet you don’t listen."

"I’m working on it."

They ordered food, settled into easy conversation, the distance from the past few days dissolving.

Around them, the café buzzed with life—other students stressed about their own projects, couples on dates, friends catching up, the whole messy complicated beauty of people just trying to figure things out.

"Hey," Noel said eventually, reaching across to take Luca’s hand. "I love you. I don’t say it enough but I do."

"I know you do."

"And I’m glad we’re doing this together. All of it. Even the scary uncertain parts."

"Me too."

Noel smiled, and it was warm and real and everything Luca had been missing.

"Want to do something tonight?" Noel asked. "Actually do something. Not just homework and stress."

"Like what?"

"I don’t know. Movie? Walk around the city? Anything that’s not school-related."

"I’d love that."

So they did.

After the café, they walked through the city as evening approached—no destination, just wandering, finding streets they’d never noticed before, stopping to look at shop windows, existing outside the pressure of academic expectations.

They found a small bookstore and spent an hour browsing, Noel gravitating toward non-fiction while Luca explored fiction, both eventually buying books they probably didn’t have time to read but wanted anyway.

They grabbed dinner at a hole-in-the-wall Thai place that turned out to be incredible, eating too much and not caring.

By the time they made it home, both were tired but in that good way, the kind that came from actually living rather than just surviving.

In bed, lights off, Luca said, "So nice."

"Yeah. So nice. Remember that life exists outside of school."

"Radical concept."

"Revolutionary, even."

They were quiet for a moment, both drifting toward sleep.

"Luca?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for not giving up on me. When I was being distant."

"I’ll never give up on you. That’s not how this works."

"How does it work?"

"We stick together. Through the good stuff and the hard stuff and the uncertain stuff. That’s the deal."

"That’s a good deal."

"Best deal I ever made."

Noel pulled him closer, and they fell asleep like that—tangled together, the week’s tension finally released, ready for whatever came next.

Because whatever came next, they’d face it together.

And that was enough.

Perfect.