Craved by the Wrong Volkov-Chapter 166: The shadow and the light

Lucien’s POV

I could sense Braelyn’s unease from the moment the game ended. I knew I had messed up, but I couldn’t hold myself at that moment. It’s been years now, Alessia was a ghost I could never forget. Her shadow is one who haunted me.

I kept on searching for a shadow of her in others, a shadow of the first person who taught me love, it was messed up but I could never forget her smile or the way she got lost in the music and honestly, I didn’t think there was ever anyone who would make me forget a ghost.

"Lucien..." Her words broke. I stared straight at the woman who wasn’t meant to be part of my life, yet I still found excuses to trap her in this hellhole

I was a broken soul drawn to another broken soul. I wasn’t what Braelyn needed. She needed someone stable, someone who would help her put the pieces together, but I was far from that.

I might not be what everyone said but they were right about one thing. I was a menace, I was broken, someone not fit for the perfect society.

Someone who should not be with her because all I would do is ruin her all over. I knew this and maybe she did.

Her lips were parted slightly, chest heaving after her earlier outburst. Her gaze was conflicted between outrage and pity. "I am not asking for much, just your trust." She added with a calm voice.

My lips parted, and I was finding it hard to say the words despite them being at the tip of my tongue. The cold breeze blew once again, it was humid since we were in the woods.

Goosebumps formed on my skin and a tired sigh escaped my lips like I was tired of carrying so much on my chest. I turned around unable to meet her gaze because it felt like I betrayed her even though I didn’t

We were on a cliff, and from a distance, I could see bright lights from the towering buildings of the city. It was a beautiful sight. I had found this place by coincidence a long time ago...

When everything became overwhelming, this was where I found solace in this same place, my life had changed. "Alessia was the first person I ever loved, so you can say it is a pitiful first love or white moonlight story." I laughed it out like it was a joke when it wasn’t.

I could feel Braelyn’s gaze fixated behind me. A twig snapped behind me followed by the rustling sound of dry grass under her feet. I felt her presence steady behind me.

"Can you tell me about her?" Braelyn asked. Her tone was calmer now like she was navigating a dangerous territory.

I smiled my eyes still on the city lights below. "Of course....your wish is my command, Viper." I chimed and my mind slowly stirred back.

"I don’t know what to say, but Alessia appeared in my life when I was a complete mess, then without a doubt I was a mindless fool filled with hatred towards everyone and everything, including me..." I started to narrate

"We met at this very spot, although I knew her before, because she came from a good family, but I never really had a chance to speak to her. I had the longest crush on her like forever...."

"It was silly when I think about how we started and how far we went. " I stopped because the words felt heavy in my mouth.

"One thing is for sure, I was certain she wouldn’t like what I have become. She always wanted me to find happiness and not seek revenge..."

The wind howled, and a soft voice, like a distant echo, reached my ears.

"Happiness is what always matters, Cucciolo.." she giggled, her voice was carefree as she laughed.

A grumpy voice followed. "Will you stop calling that? My name is Lucien. Why do you insist on that name?" She smiled. I couldn’t picture her smile perfectly anymore, but I remembered what I felt at that moment.

I wondered what it took to smile so freely...a smile that could melt hearts. "Because you’re like a troublesome puppy..." She replied leaving me stunned.

Puppy, I didn’t understand why someone could associate me with a puppy. She burst into a roaring laugh, amused by my perplexed expression.

"I understand you, Lucien. You are just like a puppy begging for attention from those who won’t see you..." She drawled and something flickered in my eyes.

Astonishment was what I would describe it as. She stepped closer, her grey eyes were clear, like she could really see me and not what I let others see. "You become the problem because Raphael is already perfect, begging to be seen even as the villain, and that’s cute like a puppy who will create a mess to get its owner’s attention...." She explained.

"Cucciolo means puppy in Italian... " She explained. It made me wonder if I was her puppy.... It’s funny calling a man over 190 cm a freaking puppy.

"What happened to her?" Brealyn’s voice drew me back. My fist clenched and I pressed my eyes shut before slowly opening them

"She died in an accident which was partly Xander’s fault and maybe mine too." I felt Braelyn go stiff behind me.

"Sorry," she muttered, but it wasn’t her fault or mine, really, not even Xander.

"That’s why you punched him," she muttered. Her presence drew closer. I could feel her breath brush against my skin.

"Yeah, it was a low-overdue punch. It’s been like 9 or 8 years now since she died. " I paused for a moment. "Xander is her younger brother. Alessia always said we were so much alike. She died in an illegal race because of some messed-up situation between Xander and his best friend, then...."

"Their recklessness killed her, but I blame myself the most. I was the one who taught her how to handle the wheel and was the bastard who took her there that night.... I killed her.." I slowly glanced at Braelyn; her head was bowed.

.

"I killed the woman I loved, Braelyn. The only thing I am good at destroying...." The words barely left my lips when she ran straight into me, wrapping her hands around me.

She hugged me. "That’s a lie...you are more than that, Lucien..." Her voice choked; something wet soiled my shirt. My body stiffened, realising she was crying.

"Viper.." I called in a shaky voice. She shook her head, rubbing her face on my chest before she slowly glanced up with a tear-streaked face.

.

"That’s a lie..." she repeated. "You can’t only destroy. You are much more Lucien. Your name means light...maybe that’s why the darkness clings to you.". She explained, leaving me stunned.

"You were the glimpse of light I had in my darkness..." she stuttered, gripping my shirt tightly. I didn’t believe she saw me that way..

"It might seem silly, I am sorry the world made you feel unwanted, but you are much more, and don’t let them make you believe either way..."

For a moment I saw Alessia in her. No, I shook my head.

She wasn’t Alessia. She was Braelyn my Viper...

And I truly saw the light I have been searching for and not a shadow of a ghost.