Coldsnap: The Billionaire Alpha's Fated Pregnant Princess (GL)-Chapter 440 - Jealousy & Guilt Still Burn, Though

Chapter 440: Chapter 440 - Jealousy & Guilt Still Burn, Though

I’m not sure so much food and other material has ever been moved such a distance by two people in such a short amount of time. My hand was being held happily and taken to her room within fifteen minutes.

"Before we wash... do you have a candle?"

Kyrie let go and moved to the chest of drawers near her window. Opening the bottom one, she pulled out what looks to be a book of matches and a glass that clinks softly against what sounds like companions.

She shows off the white, encased votive candle from across the room with a nod my way. Which makes me raise an eyebrow in suspicion. And my tongue run before my brain can think to stop it.

"You kept mood lighting in your room? For what? For who? What else is in there?"

"Emergency candles. Unscented. For power outages. You’re welcome to dig through all my things."

Honestly, I’m tempted to do so. After we shower. Logically... I know that her excuse makes the most sense, but my brain wants to scramble this world’s romanticisms with my own.

We’ve hardly talked about the specifics of her past. Though I’ve briefly suggested mine. When I tear my eyes away, I find her smirking at me.

"I think you’ll be disappointed though. These are unscented. And I have nothing all that scandalous for you to find. I did not bring or allow others into my apartment before you, Citra."

That tightness I didn’t want to acknowledge in my chest loosened. But I replace it by straightening my back and crossing my arms.

"...Even if you did, it would have been no concern of mine."

"On the rare occasion I felt the need, I made use of professional services. Escorts. Always human women, always at an external location. A specific hotel, usually."

She says it while setting the candle on the surface, turning her back and striking the match. No shame in her tone, but no sense of bragging either. I guess that’s at least as neutral as when I made mention of merchant daughters...

"I guess that explains well enough why you weren’t uselessly awkward when I allowed you to touch me."

"It does."

My teeth grit despite myself. I wanted to say something dismissive. About how I don’t need confessions or explanations. To be a ’big person’ and move along, unbothered by matters of the past.

"How many?"

Instead, a deep question belts out of my stomach that reveals it as more... accusatory than curious. I try stabbing at the feelings with the logic I know I can wield. But it does no good.

Especially when she turns around again, *wielding* that soft, fond smile as the candlelight flickers behind her. As those sunset-like eyes glow at me.

"We could both give numbers, I think. But I suspect neither of us would feel better for hearing them. From the sound of it, we both used transactions to manage needs that life couldn’t meet. We don’t have to do that anymore."

She’s right - and she’s giving me an out I should take to stop digging into this like I am looking for something to be angry about. Except my *numbers* aren’t... mine. Not really.

The body I wear has only ever ’known’ one other person - one male. Thinking about that makes my skin crawl for entirely different reasons than picturing my white haired beauty locked in the arms of some woman.

Meanwhile, *my* actual history is a literal world away. Unreachable. Unable to walk up to us and make small talk without me knowing. These women are likely here. In this city. In this tower. Under the basement.

"If we’re ever in the same room as one of them, you tell me. Immediately. If one of them ever approaches you-"

"Citra, Citra, Citra..."

Claire buzzes over my earpiece that I forgot I was even wearing again. The words I’d spewed out were so... demanding. Too revealing of whatever this ugly, possessive feeling is.

"I will happily hand over my files so you can memorize their faces. I kept thorough records of anything that could have been used against our CEO."

"...I suppose I don’t have to keep plausible deniability as much anymore. Good work."

Kyrie responds to her as I’m still trying to mull over that break in... calm. It’s not the first time. That I’ve snapped over my white wolf. Over the idea of anyone being too close to her.

> I can’t even blame the bond mark. That is... I *can* but not the recent one. Just whatever tether the Goddess put on us that draws me toward her. <

I feel this would be a lie, though. I think I would get this way even without a mystical pull. Because I...

"And I’ve ruined a couple of them already. For getting greedy. Think one was fired from the service and ended up moving states. The other-"

"I could do without knowing those parts, still. You won’t exactly be getting raises anytime soon for going above and beyond."

"Highly disagree, boss lady. I figure I can get more hours with little Asha here if I do my best work at keeping your good name above board. And by telling Mrs. Voss #2 *all* the deets about the below board."

Slipping off the yapping piece of technology in my ear, I toss it unkindly onto her bed before stomping toward the corner of the room she is in. Where the kindle flickers innocently and the Alpha I’m being territorial over watches patiently.

Grabbing her wrist, made angrier that she just lets me, I hold it over the curl of fire and push down slowly. Giving her every opportunity to refuse. With some part of me kind of wanting her to try breaking away.

"Since you were so insistent on being the one in danger, we’ll get this over with."

So that I can punish her just a little. Just a tiny bit. For being so collected while I’m here pulling myself apart for ridiculous reasons.

When that press moves into the literal flame... nothing. Well, it does curl around the edges of her skin, but no flinch. She let me hold it there for a count of ten before twisting her arm so that my own was submerged in the phenomena.

"Seems safe. I’m comfortable letting you risk it now."

I felt the movement of air, almost like water rushing upward across me, but the heat was only a mental note. Honestly, it should be satisfying that my hypothesis worked out. But I’m still feeling unbalanced.

"It’s a useful trick. Good to know. Though not burning and being immune to fire’s dangers are different things."

"What do you mean?"

"Smoke inhalation could still be lethal. Building collapse as the fire damages other things is still dangerous. Explosives still have shockwaves."

She was thinking like a leader. Cataloging the possible edge cases. Preventing overconfidence before others start to think of themselves as invincible. I really should be listening and helping her work through more of it if my goal is to be useful.

But I’d turned my head.

I was looking through the large, floor length window. Down at the city sprawled below Lunarizon Tower. Where the black scar cut through what had once been blocks of homes and businesses. And lives.

> Buildings that burned that day with people trapped inside. But why were they trapped? They can’t touch an intensely hot metal handle. Or because humans can’t walk through flames. <

"...Some of them could have run. If I’d only checked on things sooner. If I’d..."

The whispered words of blame stopped coming. There were too many of them, piling up in my throat. None of them mattered because nothing I said could change what I hadn’t done.

But it doesn’t stop me from wondering. If any of the names on my list, that now are as blackened as the view below... could have been saved. 𝓯𝙧𝙚𝒆𝙬𝙚𝒃𝙣𝙤𝒗𝓮𝓵.𝙘𝙤𝙢

If I’d only examined the Occultic Reservoir earlier instead of avoiding the interface.