Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!-Chapter 185 - 183: Need a "You Are Excellent

What is the third answer to the question?

Nan Zhubin clasped his hands together, moving them from the right side of his chest to the left, as if sliding through time, dialing memory back to the recent past.

"In fact, if you compare your [irrational beliefs] and [rational beliefs], you’ll find that [irrational beliefs] tend to be negative, a form of self-denial."

"[Rational beliefs] are positive, they affirm oneself."

"But when you think, you discard all of your affirming [rational beliefs], leaving only the self-denying [irrational beliefs]."

Nan Zhubin reassessed the visitor: "This seems to be a habitual tendency."

The visitor, named Zhuang Junzhe, was tall and thin with outstanding looks. Although his outfit was modest, it was carefully chosen, presenting a very comfortable appearance.

At the same time, he was a fresh graduate who had jumped from an ordinary university in a second-tier city to a prestigious graduate program at Jiang University. From the previous narration, it was also known that he had worked on projects with his mentor and received invitations from numerous organizations.

Based on Nan Zhubin’s understanding of the graduate student community, anyone who could achieve the aforementioned feats would definitely be considered a prominent figure within their grade, even across different years in the academy.

Such a person could be recalled by mentors many years later with topics like "I once mentored a student," "There used to be someone in the neighboring research group," or "Our academy previously had a remarkable senior," to encourage junior students.

But—

"You seem to have a rather awkward way of responding to praise and affirmation."

"When I affirm your ’thinking patterns’ or say you’re ’good at introspection,’ you look at me calmly and even smile."

"Yet, earlier when I praised you for ’passing the graduate entrance exam’, you looked away."

Nan Zhubin recalled: "I could feel you were anticipating my evaluation on the matter, and you were indeed happy when I affirmed it—but you seem unable to accept such praise."

"You are reluctant to accept my affirmation of your ’achievements’ and hesitant to show delight about it." fɾeeweɓnѳveɭ.com

"I’m curious about your attitude in distinguishing and handling these aspects differently."

The change in the visitor’s body could be seen with the naked eye.

[Swallowing saliva, neck muscles tense.]

[No obvious defensive body language like ’crossing arms’, due to the well-established counseling relationship.]

[But undeniably, he was nervous.]

"It’s because... um..."

Zhuang Junzhe’s voice was somewhat faltering, as if thinking while answering, "’Passing the graduate entrance exam’ is something that happened in the past... Although it indeed counts as an achievement, it won’t be of much use in the future; plus, there’s a bit of luck in exams. Just because I scored well before doesn’t mean I will always do well."

"But ’thinking patterns’ and such... are different. It’s something I developed through long-term effort, and it can continue to be useful in the future. I’m really glad that this quality, formed through my own efforts, can gain the teacher’s recognition..."

Nan Zhubin observed the visitor’s state and suddenly introduced some [Positive Attention]: "You are very humble."

Without affirmation, denial, or stammering, Zhuang Junzhe unconsciously responded: "After all, humility leads to progress, while pride leads to setbacks."

This response was extremely smooth, as if it wasn’t improvised but had been repeatedly polished, chewed over, and absorbed internally—truly engraved as a personal motto, serving as a constant reminder.

Nan Zhubin asked, "This statement seems to have significant meaning for you?"

Zhuang Junzhe instinctively averted his gaze: "It’s what my... father taught me since I was young."

[Use of ’father’ rather than ’dad’.]

Nan Zhubin pressed his lips together.

Glancing at the clock, there wasn’t much time left. Although a glimpse into deeper issues might be attained now, there wasn’t time to delve into them.

So instead of dialogue, he’ll resort to [instruction].

Even a minor influence matters.

"Xiao Zhuang—I can call you that, right?—what I’m about to tell you might seem counterintuitive and could even challenge the values you’ve held for a long time."

Though Nan Zhubin still had a smile, his expression grew slightly more serious; as a compensatory gesture, he used a more endearing form of address.

The posture was very much like a teacher, causing Zhuang Junzhe to instinctively adjust his own posture and focus his attention.

"You work very hard. I deeply understand what it takes for a student from a typical small town to study and test their way up to this level. You must constantly push yourself, never daring to slacken for even a moment."

"And I can furthermore affirm that you drive yourself through relentless pressure."

"And not just any ’pressure’, but pressure that borders on ’suppression’."

Zhuang Junzhe remained silent, keeping his earlier posture.

[But with teeth clenched, pressing lips together, as if enduring something.]

[Body was rigid, but slightly leaning forward, far from the appearance of ’dislike’.]

[It’s combating the re-experiencing of certain emotions or scenes.]

Nan Zhubin continued: "As you previously expressed in [Rational Emotive Therapy], you used to discard affirming rational beliefs about yourself, sticking only to irrational ones..."

At this point, Nan Zhubin slightly sidestepped the topic.

"I’ve encountered students in situations similar to yours before." Nan Zhubin looked at Zhuang Junzhe in the eye, "Back then, they said, ’Those rational beliefs felt like excusing their own weaknesses’."

Nan Zhubin observed each subtle shift in Zhuang Junzhe’s eyes: "’Inferior simply means inferior; one shouldn’t seek excuses, but rather should use such matters to push oneself for improvement’."

"In other words, these students, in pursuit of ’progress’, cherry-pick glaringly flawed [overgeneralized] irrational beliefs to deny themselves, using them as motivation for advancement."

"Simply because—habits."

"In the past, it was others denying them; now, they deny themselves."

...

Something seemed to have been stirred.

Zhuang Junzhe began blinking rapidly, swallowing his throat forcefully.

Then he took a few deep breaths, as if trying to draw courage from the air into his body.

Finally, he spoke, his voice somewhat low and inexplicably raspy: "So, teacher, what did you tell them then?"

Nan Zhubin smiled.

"I told them—"

He lowered his voice, softening his tone:

"All along, you have truly worked very hard."

"Moreover, you are excellent."

This chapt𝓮r is updat𝒆d by (f)reew𝒆b(n)ov𝒆l.com