Use Me Like A Drug (omegaverse bl)-Chapter 38: Be by my side (mildly+18)

Yujun’s POV

I sit frozen in Jaehyun’s car on our way back.

The words he said at the settlement while hugging me hangs heavy between us.

’I can smell you’

Subconsciously, I place my hand on my neck, I know my scent gland is damaged and my scent is hard to detect when I am without scent patch unless coaxed, yet he said he can smell me.

My heart is beating hard in my chest even with how still I am in the passenger seat.

I need to hear him say more, what does he think of my scent, does he like it? Is it really as disgusting as father says?

"You are coming back with me" he says and I turn my head to look at him, questioning his statement with my facial expression.

"I.." he says, I hear him breathe out hard through his nose as he tightens his grip on the wheel.

"I just need to see you" he says like he’s struggling with himself, he sounds strange but it doesn’t scare me. I keep my eyes on his face, watching his side profile as clenches and unclenches his jaw.

He had so much tension in his body that it makes my heart melt and I keep realizing just how much I miss him.

How? I don’t know, all I know is I miss him.

We barely even know each other well enough to miss one another like this, but it’s obvious to me now, I can’t deny it, my omega misses him.

I miss him.

"Jun-ah" he says and looks at me briefly before turning his attention to the dimly lit road again, "just be by my side right now" he says and I nod my head twice.

I will stay. I don’t want to leave.

Jaehyun drives us back to his apartment in hongdae, it is a long and silent ride, and the air in the car is comfortable, it feels like being home where you belong.

I have never felt this way in my own home.

Jaehyun leads us up the stairs into his home and goes straight to taking off his shoes and jacket. I stand awkwardly, not knowing how to advance, do I go in or stay back?.

After all, I did ask him not to call me when I left him that day.

Lost in thought, I feel hands on my feet and I look down to see Jaehyun on his knees in front of me, loosening my shoelace.

"What are..." I say out of shock, this is wrong, father has drilled into me that no alpha should be on his knees for someone as low as an omega, why would he?

Jaehyun doesn’t say a word in response as he takes off the shoes and slides my feet into a comfortable green indoor slippers.

"Jaehyun-ssi..." I call and he looks up.

In his eyes, I see the battle between his alpha and him. A struggle of submission, he is pushing himself into submitting to me and for me.

"Don’t do this..." I say in a broken tone, it hurts how much he does for me and I have nothing to do for him, I only have promise of pain and hurt and destruction.

I only am a wounded omega.

"Don’t make me feel this way...I beg you" I say to him and he drops his head and his shoulders. "I beg you, Yujun-ah" he says too, using my own words for me, and I shake my head.

What is wrong with this alpha? Have he truly gone mad now?

"I beg you, use me like a drug" he says and I let out a shaky breath, my legs weakens and I place my hands on his shoulder to hold myself up.

"I can’t stop thinking about it" he says to me still on his knees, "I can’t stop hurting over how much you go through" he says and I feel his body shake.

He is restraining so much anger.

"Jaehyun-ah..." I call his name and bring him to his feet, "why?" I ask and hold his face, looking straight into his eyes and he shuts his eyes before opening them again.

"Why do they do this to you? They don’t deserve you" he says and I caress his cheekbone with my thumbs, still trying to hold his eyes with mine.

"You’re an alpha, an alpha doesn’t kneel to others, an alpha..." I say and he laughs softly, "an omega shouldn’t be treated like this, an omega should be cherished" he says and we both look into each other’s eyes.

"Don’t worry about me, I’m fine" I whisper to him and he holds my chin gently, "I want to kiss you" he announces and instead of giving him a permission or declining, I surge forward to connect our lips.

He sighs against my lips, and brings his hand up to hold the back of my neck and position me properly to deepen the soft kiss.

Hungrily, I clench his shirt and shut my eyes to let him kiss me more, Jaehyun’s lips against mine feels like a natural thing, something that has been meant to be right from start.

Like a programing in myself that I am just discovering.

He slips his tongue into my mouth and I open to let him take more of me. His minty taste fills my mouth as his tongue explores deeper, drawing a moan out of both of us.

I also follow his steps and action, using my tongue to match him in this delicious dance. He tightnes his hold on my neck as he brings his other hand to my waist and pull me even closer to his body.

Just from kissing him, I start to feel my body get hot, like when I am in heat but...voluntarily, it is not just biology speaking, I want this in everyway.

Jaehyun suddenly pulls away from me and take a few steps backwards while breathing harshly, both of us stand apart from each other with our lips red and slick with spit and our chests heaving from the tension.

I can smell myself heavily in the air, my jasmine scent is sweet and beautiful, like the smell of a blooming flower.

"I couldn’t do it" he says panting heavily. He is still that dark Hwang Jaehyun, not my puppy that I have become familiar with behind closed doors.

He shuts his eyes tightly and runs his finger through his hair, "I tried to stay away, to not call...but I can’t" he says and I rush over to him again for another kiss.

Our lips meet in a more heated kiss, it feels hotter and wetter than the previous one, I am letting him know that I don’t want him to stay away.

It might kill us both but I don’t want to stop.

Jaehyun pulls away again and his eyes flashes red briefly, he is restraining himself for me.

"We should stop..." he says, "Yujun-ah, I want you too much".

"I want you too" I say and he shakes his head, "you don’t..." he says in disagreement.

"Hwang Jaehyun, I want you" I say boldly. "I want this" I repeat.

"Fuck this" the alpha hisses and swoops in for a kiss.