To Byul (Omegaverse)-Chapter 70: You’re in pain, Chin-hwa

Ji-hoo told Chin-hwa the content of their conversation that night, including the part where he promised to help him move on if Kang-woo ended up with someone other than him.

He would even use himself if he had to. If Chin-hwa could find a way to let go of his feelings, he would help for that cause.

"And during the course of two years, I started falling in love with you." Ji-hoo said, watching Chin-hwa who had his head bowed and his palms in a fist, clenching hard on his closed thighs.

It must've been hard to take in. Including his deep secret being known by someone else. Chin-hwa was finding it hard to process it.

"I'm ready to keep my promise, Chin-hwa." Ji-hoo said.

But Chin-hwa raised his head and shook his head.

"No," he said. "You don't have to. Please."

"What do you mean?" Ji-hoo asked.

"Ji-hoo, you... You don't have to keep the words of a drunken person at heart." Chin-Hwa said, sweat dripping down the corner of his chin on a cold evening. "I was drunk that day so I said a lot of stupid things. Unreal things, even. I..."

"The drunk never lies." Ji-hoo interrupted him.

He knew Chin-Hwa would try to make an excuse for the words he said. But it was already too late to try and deny what he had seen with his own eyes.

"Your emotions that night are more real than any I've ever seen from you. You set your shattered heart on the ground and talked about each piece with tears streaming down your cheeks, Chin-hwa. I believed it then and I still believe it now. So, don't try to tell me you said unreal things in the heat of a drunken moment because every word that came out of your mouth was true."

"But you don't know that!" Chin-hwa suddenly had an outburst after holding it in for too long, acting unlike himself.

Ji-hoo looked at him surprised.

"I mean," he exhaled and inhaled a few times as if heaving for air. "Ji-hoo, please, don't talk on my words. I... I said stupid things."

"But they were the truth, weren't they?" Ji-hoo asked and Chin-hwa pursed his lips.

He didn't like this. How in the world did he let it slip?

This was why he always tried to get home before the alcohol took over his system on a drinking night.

The amount of information he spilled when drunk depended on how much alcohol he consumed. He understood that the hard way.

"Please, Ji-hoo." He sniffed. "Can you just pretend you didn't hear any of that? Please?" He looked up at him with teary eyes, leaving Ji-hoo speechless.

"I... I..." His tongue got caught. "I have 'been' keeping it to myself." He said. "But I can't keep quiet and watch you suffer when I know I can do something to help?"

"And what is it, exactly?" Chin-hwa asked. "What can you do to help me? No one... No one can help me." He bowed his head, his body trembling as tears started streaming down his cheeks. "No one can help me her rid of this pain in my heart."

"I can not guarantee, but won't you give me a chance to try?" Ji-hoo asked. Slowly, Chin-hwa raised his head to look at him.

Ji-hoo stared at the tears on his face. He was crying again. Those glistening tears that made him look vulnerable and... Made his face wet.

"Chin-hwa," he called, gently reaching his hand towards him.

Chin-hwa did not shy away and watched him, what he was about to do, and felt his hand graze his face.

Ji-hoo rubbed his thumbs over Chin-hwa's wet cheek, hoping to dry his tears. But it wasn't that way, not when the tears kept falling.

"You're in pain, Chin-hwa," Ji-hoo said softly. "Kang-woo likes someone else and I like you. So, I will help you move on. Allow me to be your boyfriend and I will do my best to help you forget..." He shook his head. "No, I'll help you get over those feelings you have for him. You'll create new memories with me and though the old can never be buried, the new ones will be stronger so that you don't have to think of the old ones anymore."

"You don't... Know that." Chin-hwa said. "It's not that easy,"

"Yes, it's not easy because you don't let it happen. Deep in your heart, you wish for those memories to never be replaced or fade, but if you just open up a little and create room for someone else."

"Room for someone else?" Chin-hwa asked and watched his hand. "How do I... Do that?"

"Don't worry, I'll help you. I'll... Show you." He started leaning closer and something told Chin-hwa he was going to kiss him. But if this was the method, he wanted to use, then maybe...

He closed his eyes, ready to embrace something new but just then, Kang-woo's smile flashed through his memory.

"Hwa," his soft voice over that beautiful smile was like a beautiful melody that he would never give away from anything.

"No, stop!" Chin-hwa said, pressing his hand against Ji-hoo's chest. He shook his head, biting his lips, and said, "I want to get over it. I don't want to feel pain anymore but... Let's take it slow, please. I can't get over it. Maybe it's because I don't want to. As you said, I lock everything deep down in my heart, afraid they would fade or disappear and that's true. I..."

"I understand, Chin-hwa." Ji-hoo said, stopping him from saying more. "You don't have to complete your words. I know it's hard for you, so we'll go at your own pace."

"Thank... Thank you."

"So, for now," he held Chin-hwa's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it. "I'll stick with this."

Chin-hwa watched him, guilt gripping his heart. Ji-hoo was a very good guy. He didn't want to use him as a second option. Being the second option was always the worst.

"Ji-hoo..." Chin-hwa called. "Are you sure... You want to do this? With me?"

Ji-hoo stared at the uncertainty on Chin-hwa's face and smiled.

He suddenly got up from the bench and knelt in front of Chin-Hwa, shocking him.

"Hey, w-what are you doing?"

"Hold on, it seems my sincerity hasn't reached your heart deeply yet." Ji-hoo said and held his hand. "Chin-hwa, will you be my boyfriend?"

Chin-hwa almost stood to his feet but he could not exactly stand with Ji-hoo in front of him.

"W-what are you doing, Ji-hoo? Stand... " He glanced around, panicked. "Stand up right now."

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"I would love to but I want to be as romantic and sincere as I can be."

"Sitting will have the same effect. So, get up already." He said.

Luckily, there weren't a lot of people around, but there were still a few who were already staring at them. It was so embarrassing.

"Chin-hwa, I like you a lot." Ji-hoo said, kissing the back of his palm once more. "And I want to be the shoulder you can cry on, not that I expect you to cry all the time. Haha." He laughed but slowly became serious. "I wasn't you to be happy. I... I don't have much words to say. I'm not exactly good at wordplay."

"I understand where this is leading so please," Chin-hwa covered his mouth. "Stand up already."

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

There was really no need for all of this? Luckily, they weren't too close to campus; if not, they would've been photographed already and posted on the school forum.

Chin-hwa sighed.

"Do you really have to go this far?" He asked and Ji-hoo smiled.

"Anything for you,"

Once again, Chin-hwa sighed.

"Alright. Seems I've gotta follow the procedure. I will be your boyfriend. There, is that better?" He asked and Ji-hoo finally stood to his feet.

"Yes. So, since I can't get a kiss, can I at least hug you?" He asked. "I mean, I already do that on a normal day but..."

Chin-hwa got up from the bench and wrapped his arms around him, dropping his head on Ji-hoo's chest.

"Yeah, I guess we can do this much." He said and Ji-hoo hugged him back.

"Thank you."

"No, thank 'you', Ji-hoo. You're going to be helping me after all."

"Yeah, you're right." Ji-hoo brushed his hair. "So, you're in my care from now on."

"Is this really okay?" Chin-hwa asked once more. "You know I have someone else in my heart and dating you like this just because I want to get over them is..."

"Oh, come on, I don't feel like I'm being second option in the slightest." Ji-hoo said. "But this isn't exactly my first relationship, so in a way, you aren't my first option either." He laughed but something told him his words sounded weird. "I should probably never say something like that again." He darted his eyes away and Chin-hwa chuckled.

His arms were big and strong. Just like Kang-woo's.

He was going to try this, but he had no confidence that this would work out, which made him feel bad for Ji-hoo's efforts altogether.

"I think that's alright. I need to get home already. I'm tired." Chin-hwa said, breaking the hug and Ji-hoo nodded.

"Yes, I completely understand. This is where we part for the day," he said, pushing Chin-hwa's hair off his forehead and planting a soft kiss on Chin-hwa's forehead, beaming a smile afterward. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Chin-Hwa watched him leave and lightly touched his forehead. This was a rather strange feeling.

In the distance, someone was watching them. After seeing the other party with Chin-hwa leave, they wound up their window and drove away.