The Villainess Wants To Retire-Chapter 523: The greatest gift

ERIS

I don’t know how long I remained seated in that quiet room, drowning in my thoughts.

Figure out the rest, I had told him. We will. I had to believe that. I had to.

The seal pulsed once, gently. Pyronox was there, back to a slumbering beast in the basement of my soul. Not yet, I thought to the dragon. Not yet.

But then his voice replayed in my head. I love you. I really do.

I felt my eyes sting, a hot, sudden pressure.

Why didn’t I say it back? Why was I so cursed with this need for armor even when the war was over?

I remembered the way he looked... the hurt he had tried to hide when he told me I didn’t need to answer. He thought I didn’t feel it. He thought he was leaving me with an unrequited burden.

What was I so afraid of?

Why did I chose being a coward over honesty?

My legs moved before my brain could catch up.

I was already off the bench, my boots thundering against the stone floor. I dashed out of the room, ignoring the sharp pain in my ribs.

I ran past the guards, past the startled nobles, past Mira, who called out my name in confusion.

I didn’t care what the servants had to say or guess why the Empress was running desperately through the ruins.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it might burst through the fractures.

I had to tell him. I had to tell him that he was the greatest gift this wretched, beautiful story could have ever given me.

I had to tell him that I’d let Caelen’s sword drive through my heart a million times if it meant I got to fall in love with him in every lifetime.

I burst through the east passage, my lungs burning, the cold night air hitting my face as I reached the outer courtyard where the horses were waiting.

"Soren!" I screamed, my voice tearing through the silence of the night.

SOREN

The door clicked shut, and with it, the only world that mattered felt like it had been reduced to a single point behind me. I didn’t stop to look back.

I couldn’t. If I turned around, if I allowed myself to see the way Eris was sitting on that bench... small against the backdrop of an empire’s ruin... I would never leave.

The corridor was long, the stones cold under my boots. I walked with an automatic rhythm, my legs knowing the direction to the courtyard while my mind remained firmly anchored in the room I had just vacated. I felt split, a man being pulled apart by the gears of history.

Aldric was beside me, his voice a steady drone of logistics that felt like it was coming from a very great distance.

He was talking about provisioning the convoy, the specific route considerations for the eastern road, and the estimated days it would take to reach the first province in the Agricultural Heartland.

He was being practical, being the administrator the empire needed, but I was only processing every third word.

I was busy counting.

One step. Two steps. Three. I was marking the growing distance between myself and her, an inventory of the space that was rapidly becoming a chasm.

Beneath Aldric’s words, my thoughts were running parallel, focused on the cracks I had counted on her skin—the golden, glowing map of her mortality.

Every fracture was a debt I owed, a weight heavier than the crown, heavier than the civil collapse waiting patiently for my attention.

I could still feel the phantom sensation of her hands taking mine without being asked.

I intend to be, she had said. It was the most honest thing she could have given me, a promise of presence in a world that usually promised only betrayal.

I knew she felt it. I wasn’t a fool; I saw the way her guard dropped when she thought I wasn’t looking, the way her eyes softened at the edges.

But there is an enormous distance between knowing a truth and hearing it voiced. I was walking away from that distance without the words I needed to bridge it.

Stop, I told myself, a sharp internal correction. You’re brooding like an idiot.

The reality of the situation was a cold splash of water. Five provinces were in active collapse. The empire needed its Emperor to be a sovereign, not a man standing in a corridor counting his paces. There would be time after. When this was done, she would still be there. She had said so.

I didn’t let myself dwell on whether I fully believed her.

"Agreed," I said, my voice functional and hollow as Aldric finished a point about the grain situation.

"The eastern road then," Aldric confirmed, satisfied with the response.

We reached the heavy oak doors that led to the courtyard. They swung open, admitting a rush of cold, biting air. The evening was perpetual now, the sky a bruised purple, illuminated only by the flickering torches of the waiting escort.

Twelve men sat mounted or stood by their horses, their armor glinting in the firelight. As I stepped out, there was a collective shift, a straightening of spines, a tide of recognition pulling in toward me.

The armor went back on. Not the physical plates, but the skin of the Emperor. My voice found the register they needed, not a performance, but a presence that commanded the air.

"Five provinces," I said, my voice carrying over the stamping of horses and the crackle of torches.

"Vetra’s network is entrenched. We identify them. We remove them. We restore the lines of authority and we move to the next. This isn’t a war of conquest; it’s surgery. It will be careful. It will be precise. No unnecessary damage to the people we are sworn to protect."

The response was the kind that men give when they mean It. Fists struck chests in the old salute... a submission that was absolute.

I felt the honor of it, the weight of their faith, but it felt hollow in a specific, unnamed place. I wanted to go back inside. I wanted to find her on that bench, lock the door, and ignore the world until it stopped screaming.