The Villainess is Tired of Everything-Chapter 58

Darcy gave me a slight side glance as he picked up the coat that was still draped over my shoulders.

"I’m heading out."

"Alright, I’ll send you a letter tomorrow."

Darcy nodded, fiddling with the ring on his hand before turning away.

"It’s normal for friends to worry about each other like this, right?"

This wasn’t an excuse directed at me, but a question seeking validation.

It was a question where he had already decided the answer he wanted.

I looked at him silently. It was strange. This man, tall and sharp-featured, who normally looked intimidating when not smiling, now seemed like a rabbit ready to flee at any moment.

Instinctively, I knew I had to let him win this one.

Honestly, I wanted to.

"Of course."

My words visibly eased Darcy’s tension.

After that, he disappeared along with the ring. I murmured to the empty space he had left behind.

"But not everyone has friends like that."

Friends. I pondered over the word Darcy had used. The definition of our relationship was still unclear.

‘When will we be able to define this?’

Neither Darcy nor I knew how deep these feelings ran. Perhaps we were both comforted by the lack of a clear definition of our relationship.

A friendship is more certain and stable than a romantic relationship.

‘But does it make me a bad person for feeling a bit hurt by the word "friends"?’

Thinking of the seemingly intimidating Darcy, I shook my head.

‘Don’t rush things.’

Nothing has been decided yet. I should remain faithful to the present without harboring too many expectations.

Darcy, having little experience with people, might not fully understand his emotions. His feelings for me might really be just those of a friend.

And I was prepared to respect whatever his feelings turned out to be.

‘…But it did feel good when he seemed conscious of Ethan earlier.’

It was almost like he was jealous.

Recalling Darcy’s reddened ears made me chuckle. The undefined nature of our relationship might be frustrating, but his actions brought me joy.

Comedy and tragedy are born in the same space.

‘Can my actions make Darcy happy?’

Only time will tell.

I thought of Ethan.

Since he was in the theater room, it was the perfect opportunity to explain the magical tools there, which would help build trust in my plans.

I opened the door and headed toward Ethan.

“Because it’s part of the process of making myself happy.”

How could anyone refuse a request from Marceau when she put it that way? It was impossible.

"Alright."

The words came out like magic.

‘Maybe you’re the one with the mind-control ability, Marceau.’

You always make me think of you… make me read your expressions… and in the end, I can never refuse you.

I don’t know when it started.

At first, you were just a noble I could use to my advantage.

But now, you are my world. I can no longer remember the days when you weren’t on my mind.

Even now, I can’t fully define my feelings. It’s terrifying. I’ve never been a coward in front of anyone, but I can’t bear to show you anything less than perfection.

Darcy squeezed his eyes shut, recalling his mother’s longing for Kies’ love.

It would have been better if those memories had faded with time. But they were too vivid to forget.

He had to admit it. He was afraid of love. He couldn’t accept the collateral emotions and actions that such a destructive feeling might bring.

‘After all, I am her child.’

…What if I become a monster like her?

Darcy’s eyes shot open.

No.

He wouldn’t become a monster like his mother.

He wouldn’t use his mind-control ability to manipulate others.

He wouldn’t fall into a love that made him lose all sense of judgment.

The emotions he felt today when he looked at Marceau—the possessiveness, the jealousy—were not love.

“Friends can worry about each other to this extent.”

And hadn’t Marceau agreed with him?

Yet the monster inside him had already sprouted, whispering incessantly.

‘If you’re just friends, why do you want to kiss her right now?’

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He was confused. It felt like he was back on the battlefield, following Kies’ orders.

He felt an urge to bang his head against the wall.

If only he could kill this selfish monster inside him. If only he could suppress the selfishness that had been growing stronger lately.

…But Marceau was too pure, too lovable, and too beautiful for him to suppress all his thoughts and actions.

The filthy, selfish desire to one day possess her completely was growing.

Even though he knew it would make Marceau unhappy.

Darcy took a deep breath.

‘We’re friends. Just friends. The feelings aren’t complete. You don’t want to lose Marceau, do you?’

This was self-brainwashing.

Yes, he could endure it for now.

The more time he spent with her, the stronger his desires became. So he would keep his distance while Marceau was meeting with the magicians.

He knew she would understand if he claimed to be busy. She might be a little disappointed, but she would understand.

The Marceau he knew was considerate and gentle, nothing like the rumors.

In truth, he also needed to focus on researching magical tools.

With the appearance of firearms, Kies would certainly try to replicate them. Just as he had found a way to press the barrel to his temple, he would find a way to make them.

This was no longer the age of knights. The era of magicians was also ending, and a new age was about to begin.

He needed to be prepared.

‘…A gun doesn’t necessarily have to be a magical tool.’

While magic stones were useful, they were too limited. If they started using them on a large scale, they wouldn’t be able to match the supply controlled by the Imperial family.

He needed to develop weapons that didn’t rely on magic stones.

To finally bring an end to Kies and Ryan.

To plunge them into the depths of despair.

…But, to be honest, that wasn’t his only reason. The more time he spent with Marceau, the more his thirst for revenge against Kies and Ryan faded.

Now, he needed to take them down to protect Marceau, who was now on his side.

Just then, a knock echoed through the room. The door opened, and Kaisen entered, bowing to him.

“You’ve returned.”

“Yes. Do you have a report?”

“It seems Prince Ryan has allied with Marquis Ephecle.”

Darcy had expected Ryan to choose someone to side with, but he hadn’t anticipated it would be Marquis Ephecle.

“That’s surprising. I thought he would remain neutral…”

“The marquis wouldn’t move without reason. Ryan must have found some leverage against him.”

“We investigated his activities, but there was nothing particularly unusual aside from the magic stones he received.”

The distribution of magic stones was strictly controlled by the Imperial family, but the amount traded secretly on the black market was significant.

It wasn’t surprising that Ryan used magic stones in his dealings.

‘…But something about this doesn’t sit right with me.’

Darcy narrowed his eyes. While it was true that everyone coveted magic stones… Marquis Ephecle wasn’t known to be particularly greedy. Besides, wasn’t he one of the few who owned a magic stone mine?

…But what if he had a reason to need more magic stones?

Marquis Ephecle’s household used more magic stones than others.

“Investigate the mine.”

“Pardon? The mine?”

It was as natural for a mine to produce magic stones as it was for a person to breathe. But what if something was wrong with that?

Marquis Ephecle’s actions would make sense.

Though not completely.

‘I didn’t think he would be so desperate for magic stones.’

Could there be a reason he needed to secure them? Or was Darcy misjudging the man?

In any case, time would eventually reveal the truth.

After Darcy left, I pulled out the gun I had hidden in my dress. The cold metal still felt unfamiliar against my skin.

‘But it’s worth carrying.’

It was a way to prepare for unforeseen circumstances. I carefully placed the gun deep under the bed, where only I could reach it.

It was too risky to just strap it to my dress. I needed a proper holster to carry it discreetly. Something like a strap that I could wear on my thigh might work.

‘I should ask Darcy about it later.’

Something that would allow me to draw it quickly in an emergency.

I would also need to carry smaller magic stones. I wasn’t sure how powerful the gun Darcy had made was, but it should be enough to protect myself.

Once I secured the contracts with the magicians and began the business with them, I would be openly opposing the Imperial family. The Imperial family would not look kindly on a business involving magicians, whom they had always shunned.

And it wouldn’t just be the Imperial family. Those allied with Ryan would see me as a thorn in their side.

I needed something to protect myself in such situations. The gun Darcy had given me was perfect for self-defense.