The Lycan king-Chapter 125

I heard a knock on the door and I quickly went over to open it. Bethany stood at the other side of the door with Devon standing behind her.

"What’s going on? We heard Leonora screaming and the baby crying." Bethany said and I opened the door wider for them to peer into the room. "Nora." Bethany called as she walked into the room. Devon gave me a look and I didn’t have time to register it as Leonora screamed. I turned to look at the both of them and this time Leonora was seated facing the wall, as if we were trying to steal Xander from her.

Bethany got up and walked back to me. She motioned for us to step out of the room. I closed the door behind me but I left a gap so that I could hear if anything was going on.

"Something is really wrong. Jax, I’m so sorry but there’s nothing I can do to help." Bethany said and I sighed. "Maybe just give her a bit of time to get over everything then you can seek out an elder."

"What if she harms the baby? We have to think of that because it’s one thing to cry and it’s another thing to clutch your baby and scream at anyone who touches you." Devon pointed out and I sighed. "Do you think you can stay up with her? We can take turns watching her while you sleep." Devon suggested and I was conflicted. I knew I needed to sleep, I had a long day ahead of me but I didn’t want to leave Leonora on her own. She needed me now more than anything in the world.

"You guys can stay but I’ll watch her." I said and they nodded. We walked back to the room and I noticed her shirt was lifted up a bit. She was probably feeding him. I walked to her and sat down beside her. Bethany and Devon sat on the chairs and Devon looked away as this was a private moment for Leonora.

"Leonora. I’m here. Jax is here. I told you I’m not leaving you." I spoke to her but she didn’t make a move. She was just too focused on Xander and she was singing lightly to him.

"My little baby. My sweet angel. Mummy’s never going to let you go." She sang softly as tears streamed down her face. I moved closer to her, with my back on the wall.

"Leonora, please look at me." I called her. I didn’t want to touch her again so as not to disturb Xander, who was finally calm and feeding. "Leonora, please just look at me." Xander pulled off Leonora but she pushed him back to continue feeding him.

"Leonora, he’s full. He doesn’t want to eat anymore." I said as I touched Xander’s fingers. She didn’t scream so I felt hopeful. Maybe it was over. Xander’s fingers wrapped around my forefinger and Leonora finally looked up at me.

"J-Jax. What’s going on?" She asked as the tears kept falling. I cleaned her eyes and took Xander away from her. "Did I hurt him?" 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

"No, no you didn’t." I placed a kiss on her forehead to make her feel better. I looked over at Bethany who was staring at us. I lifted Xander up and she rushed over to take him from me. "Xander will spend the night with Beth and Devon while you and I will rest." I said to her as I pulled her closer to me. I motioned for Bethany and Devon to leave before Leonora would figure out what was going on.

"I don’t know what is wrong with me." She cried out. "Claire was right. I’m not fit to be Xander’s mother. I’m not fit to be with you."

"No, no. Please don’t say that." I said as I placed kisses on her head and rubbed her back. "My baby." I said as I pulled her onto my thigh. "I’m taking you to the apartment tomorrow and we would go shopping together. I think we need to take a break from all of this."

"B-but I don’t deserve it." She mumbled and my heart broke.

"You deserve the world, my Queen. Let’s go to bed and rest. We’ve both had a long night."

Leonora*

I felt light on my eyes and a cool breeze. I used that opportunity to get up and stretched. I turned around to look for Xander but I was met with Jax watching me. He looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep last night.

"Good morning." I greeted as I moved closer and snuggled up to him. His arms instinctively held me close and he placed a kiss on my head. "Where is Xander?" I asked him. The last time I had seen him was when we went to bed and I had expected that he would wake me up in the middle of the night but he didn’t.

"He’s with Beth. Do you remember what happened last night?" He asked me and I shook my head. He nodded and placed another kiss on my head. "We’re going to the apartment today. I’ve moved all my work until we get back."

"Why? I think it’s fine if we stay here besides there are a lot of people that can care for him here." I suggested but Jax stayed quiet. "Did I do something last night?"

"I don’t know how I would tell you this without you freaking out." He said as he let go of me and got up. I quickly sat up as he adjusted until he was resting his back on the headboard.

"Please tell me, I don’t mind." I urged him and he sighed, holding out a hand for me. I took it and move closer to him.

"You were having a nightmare last night and I woke you up. It was also making Xander’s cry. Then you started acting weirdly. You screamed for him and when I gave him to you, you didn’t want me to touch you." He started. "Bethany and Devon came to check on you because they heard the screams and when you finally calmed down, I took Xander from you and gave him to Beth."

"Oh! I’m so sorry. I don’t know." I said as tears gathered in my eyes. Jax pulled me closer and held my head in his arm. "Did I hurt him? Please tell me the truth."

"No, you didn’t. You just fed him." Jax replied but I felt so embarrassed. "I want us to go to the apartment and just get away for a moment and also go shopping. I’ve sacrificed a lot of shirt for Xander and his leaky bottoms." Jax joked but I wasn’t in the mood to joke. "Leo, I understand that you went through something traumatic with Xander. I’m not going to fault you for your reaction to it. That’s why I’m suggesting we go out and get away. Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t but at least you and Xander will get some fresh air and we can take your car."

"What car?" I questioned. The last time we had a conversation about cars was the last time at the apartment when I jokingly said I wanted a car.

"Your wedding gift." He said and I frowned a bit. "I told you I got you a car when we were taking a bath after the ceremony." He tried to jog my memory but I could not remember much from the reception. Most likely because of the edibles I had eaten.

"Are you sure going there would be good for us? What if I need help? We can get help from an Elder or council member." I suggested but nothing from him. His mind was already made up and there wasn’t anything I was going to do about it. "Okay and I don’t mind sleeping far away from Xander. I could get bottles and I could pump ahead of time or something."

"Leonora, when we get to that bridge, we’ll cross it." He said it as he pulled me closer until I was laying on the bed. I could hear soft crying in the distance and I knew Xander had woken up. "Let me go get him." Jax said as he slipped out of bed. I felt embarrassed. I couldn’t believe that I had done all those things. I couldn’t even remember it.

During my time as a teacher I met someone who told me about her life being married to a ptsd survivor and how life was exceptionally hard during his breakdowns. I couldn’t remember much of her story but I could remember the way she looked when she told her story. How sad she was about what her husband was going through.

He fought in the army whereas I was locked up for an over a month. I didn’t think I should be going through any form of ptsd.