The General's Wife Wants to Leave-Chapter 142: A sin in the past

’Then how should I tell you how I ended up choosing you as my wife?’

Canillas talked to Joanna inwardly, still fixing his eyes on hers, which reflected his dazed state.

’Will you believe me if I tell you that I chose you because your name stirred my heart when my eyes laid on your name that night? Will you believe me, not judging me of being a liar and insane man, when I tell you that your name had power to pull me toward you, thus we are together here now?’ fɾēewebnσveℓ.com

Canillas still asked Joanna in his silence while wishing her to understand the quiet questions that he could not speak out loud at her.

’Will you believe me if I tell you that your name has turned me into a different man and that I am myself wondering about every one of my actions towards you until I forget about my perspectives about marriage, or perhaps I changed those perspectives because of your name?’

Canillas continued to ask Joanna in silence, who was puzzled by his silence.

’Will you believe me if I say that I really wanted to see you, the lady whose name has caused ripples in my heart, and how I was disappointed and infuriated when I found your room empty in my home? Will you think of me as a liar if I tell you that I was worried when my mother told me you left my home because you were sick?’

Canillas thought back to the time when his anticipation dimmed when he found her absence at his home, and his worry grew when he heard her sick.

’If I tell you that, will you tell me what spell you have cast on me through your name so that I ended up with you here, still staying by your side, craving your presence around me even after you offered me your cold side all this time?’

Canillas tightened the grip on the edges of the stool where the wondering lady sat, preventing his hands from moving up to caress her cheeks.

’Will you tell me then why I became like this miserable man who couldn’t let you go when you asked me to, Joanna?’

The uneasy feelings that he felt when he read her name that night suddenly emerged inside him again at the moment.

’Was it because of a sin in the past...?’

Canillas was unable to continue his silent question as the question that had never appeared in his mind before suddenly emerged like a bolt from the blue as he stared longer into the hazel eyes that gleamed by the flickering glow of the illumination of warm light that engulfed them.

"Sir Canillas."

A soft voice that melodically called his name streamed into his ears, but Canillas did not make a response as he was still dwelling on the sudden question that seemed to pull his consciousness.

"Sir Canillas."

The soft, melodious voice that called his name was heard again in his ears, and Canillas finally blinked his eyes, choosing to awaken from his stupor, as if dwelling longer into that question would make him sink deeper to the point he would never be able to surface again.

"Number eight," Canillas said in his slightly hoarse voice as he suppressed certain emotions from arising inside him.

And he had to surface because he still wanted to see the figure of the melodious voice that called his name.

Forcing himself to form a smile despite the mixed feeling that wreaked havoc inside him, Canillas tried to reassure the worried lady, who appeared clearly in his sight once he regained his focus back on her.

Meanwhile, the worried lady, the figure of the melodious voice that Canillas still wanted to see, had indeed been worried about the unusual state of the man, who previously appeared mischievous and pestered her a lot to suddenly stay deep in silence, longer than what normality could take.

And now, when he suddenly responded to her, answering her inquiry, she could only look at him with a frown at the words coming from him.

Noticing the puzzle look on the lady’s face that was getting more apparent with time, Canillas chuckled while holding back from tucking a few strands of her hair that rested on her cheek behind her ear.

"Because your name was written at number eight on the list, I chose you, Lady Joanna de Lara, as my wife." Canillas made up an answer for his bewildered wife, looking straight into her eyes with a smile. "And because number eight is my favorite number, Lady Joanna de Lara is here now with me as my wife," he added.

"So, if you wanted to blame someone who was at fault for making you end up as my wife, then go blame the castle, who wrote your name on my favorite number." Canillas attempted to mask the uneasy feelings that surged inside him with a playful remark. He also tried to lighten the atmosphere between them, as he did not want his enigmatic wife to wonder a lot about his oddness.

Deep down in his heart, he was also sorry for not telling her the truth.

’One day, if you have accepted me as your husband, I will tell you the truth, Joanna.’ Canillas talked to the puzzled Joanna in silence.

He considered that if she was not distancing herself from him anymore, accepting him completely as her husband, and embracing their future as husband and wife together wholeheartedly, it was the day when he would talk to her about everything that he kept from her all this time.

As in Canillas’ mind, if he told Joanna the truth, while he, himself, was also unable to fully believe that all of his actions were moved by her name, he doubted that she would believe when he told her about what he felt at that time.

On the other hand, the puzzled Joanna again lost the ability to form a word to respond to the answer that was once again out of the list of her predictions.

It was because her name was written at number eight that she ended up becoming his wife.

Joanna literally did not know how to respond to it. But what answer did she expect to come from him when they were completely strangers to begin with?

He was likely confused about whom to choose at that time. Hence, he took a shortcut by taking the simplest way to take someone as his wife, and unfortunately, she was listed on that favorite number of his.

Should she blame the castle, like he suggested then? Joanna took an inward sigh at the teasing suggestion of the cunning man who was now smiling at her.