The Extra's Reincarnation-Chapter 77: Before My Eyes

Julian gazed up towards the sky as he was knocked off the rooftop.

-It’s the same feeling again… the same feeling of being hurt… and in pain. How could I forget?

In reality and in truth, Julian, or before he was ’Julian’, was Lilian.

Lilian from the planet called earth.

In a world he had forgotten long since his first death, had recalled a bitter memory that seeped into the depths of his soul.

It wasn’t a memory meant to be remembered, rather a memory that should’ve been forgotten.

…

In the cold streets of Paris, a homeless orphan boy struggled to survive on the merciless streets of a world he’d left behind.

The cold. The hunger. The constant fear. It all came rushing back with vivid clarity.

By the time he was 10 years old, he had lived in poverty on the streets of Paris, never having known his family.

This boy never had the opportunity to grow up in an earnest home, nor did he have parents to help nurture his strengths and turn them into skills.

No… in his world, life had never been right, his treatment, his views, his perspective were all different to the human mind.

He was an anomaly, an outcast, a boy who saw the world through eyes clouded by pain and neglect.

He saw the ugliness, the cruelty, the indifference that others often overlooked.

He had lived a life huddling in alleyways, shivering as icy wind cut through his threadbare clothes.

No matter what he did or what he was going to do, he spent all his energy digging through dumpsters for scraps of food, just to survive.

In this world he lived in, he had nothing to live for; even when he believed he did, it was always taken from him effortlessly, as if it meant nothing.

In those dark days, pain had been his constant companion.

Physical pain from injuries and hunger. Emotional pain from rejection and isolation.

He had become numb to it, accepting suffering as an inevitable part of his existence.

Until one day, when everything changed...

As he drifted in and out of consciousness, a soft meow caught his attention. Forcing his eyes open, he saw a small kitten padding towards him through the snow.

Its fur was matted and dirty, one ear torn, clearly another orphan of the streets.

The kitten approached Lilian cautiously, then curled up against his side, seeking warmth.

"Go away…"

He pushed the cat away, trying to get it to run away from him.

While he did that, he walked down towards another dark alleyway in search of food and just as he was looking for more food.

yeowww…

The kitten had followed him regardless of what he did, the cat even rubbed its head onto his leg, giving him a slight warmth.

Lilian looked down at the small creature, feeling a strange mix of emotions. Part of him wanted to shoo it away, to protect it from the inevitable disappointment and pain that came from caring about anything in this cruel world.

But another part, a part he thought had long since died, felt a flicker of warmth at the kitten’s persistence.

"You’re stubborn, aren’t you?"

The kitten merely mewed in response, looking up at him with wide, trusting eyes.

For a moment, Lilian hesitated. Then, with a sigh, he reached down and scooped up the tiny ball of fur.

yeoow!

The kitten immediately snuggled into his chest, purring contentedly.

"Fine," Lilian grumbled. "But don’t expect much. I can barely feed myself."

Over the next few weeks, Lilian found himself caring for the kitten, whom he eventually named Whisper.

He shared what little food he could scrounge, fashioned a makeshift bed from discarded cardboard, and even used his own body heat to keep Whisper warm on the coldest nights.

At first, Lilian told himself it was just temporary.

That he’d find a better home for Whisper, or that the kitten would eventually wander off on its own.

But as days turned into weeks, he found himself growing attached to the small creature.

For the first time in years, Lilian had something to care about beyond his own survival. He found himself smiling at Whisper’s playful antics, worrying when the kitten seemed unwell, and feeling a sense of purpose in providing for another living being.

It was through caring for Whisper that Lilian slowly began to rediscover his own humanity.

The walls he had built around his heart began to crumble, and he started to see glimpses of beauty in a world he had long since written off as cruel and uncaring.

It had been a particularly cold night. Lilian had huddled in an alleyway with Whisper tucked safely in his jacket, trying to shield the kitten from the biting wind.

As he drifted off into an uneasy sleep, he was jolted awake by the sound of cruel laughter.

YEOW!!!

A group of older boys, street kids like himself but meaner and more hardened, had stumbled upon them.

Lilian’s heart raced as he saw the malicious intent in their eyes.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" the largest boy sneered. "Looks like the little rat’s got himself a pet."

Lilian clutched Whisper tighter, his body tensing. "Leave us alone," he said, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.

The boys just laughed.

"Or what? You gonna fight us, runt?"

Before Lilian could react, one of the boys darted forward and snatched Whisper from his arms.

The kitten yowled in fear and pain as the boy dangled it by the scruff of its neck.

"No! Give her back!" Lilian cried, lunging forward.

But he was outnumbered and outmatched. The other boys held him back, jeering and laughing as their leader toyed with the terrified kitten.

"Aww, look at the little furball," the boy taunted. "I wonder how far it can fly?"

With a cruel laugh, he tossed Whisper into the air.

YEOOW!

The kitten tumbled through the freezing night, landing hard on the pavement with a sickening thud.

"Stop it! Please!" Lilian begged, tears streaming down his face as he struggled against his captors.

But the boys were relentless. They took turns kicking the helpless kitten, laughing at its pitiful cries and Lilian’s desperate pleas.

yeow…

He could only watch his only light, get beaten to death and after one final kick to its stomach something inside Lilian snapped.

The fear and despair that had been his constant companions for so long suddenly gave way to a white-hot rage.

With a strength he didn’t know he possessed, he broke free from the boys holding him.

The small shelter he stayed at had a dumpster filled with glass bottles, he rushed into the bin to grab whatever he could and was able to muster himself the courage to break the top half of a wine bottle creating sharp edges meant to threaten the boys.

But it was, in fact, not his true intentions for what he was trying to do. No… as a matter of fact, he planned on killing them, regardless of the outcome.

With a primal scream of rage, Lilian lunged at the lead boy, the jagged edges of the broken bottle slashing wildly.

The other boys, caught off guard by his sudden ferocity, stumbled backwards in shock.

SLASH!

The bottle connected with flesh, drawing blood. The lead boy howled in pain, clutching his arm where a deep gash now bled freely.

"I’LL KILL YOU,"

But Lilian didn’t stop. He attacked with a feral intensity, slashing and stabbing in a blind fury.

The other boys tried to pull him off their leader, but Lilian fought like a cornered animal.

He bit, scratched, and struck out with the bottle, leaving a trail of cuts and bruises in his wake.

In the chaos, two of the boys fell badly.

One cracked his head on the pavement with a sickening thud. The other stumbled into the path of Lilian’s wild swings, the jagged glass slicing deep across his throat.

"Run this kids crazy!"

AHHH!

Blood sprayed across the alley as the boy clutched at his neck, gurgling and choking, before collapsing to the ground.

The remaining boys, including their injured leader, fled in terror, leaving Lilian alone with the carnage he had wrought.

As the red haze of rage faded, Lilian looked around in horror at what he had done.

Two boys lay motionless on the ground, blood pooling beneath them.

His hands shook as he dropped the bloody bottle, the reality of his actions crashing down upon him.

With trembling steps, he made his way to where Whisper lay. The kitten was still breathing, but barely. Its tiny body was broken and battered, wheezing with each shallow breath.

"I’m sorry," Lilian whispered, gently cradling Whisper in his arms.

"I’m so sorry. I couldn’t protect you."

As he held his dying friend, Lilian felt something inside him shatter.

The brief flicker of humanity that Whisper had rekindled was extinguished, replaced by a cold, empty void.

In that moment, as sirens wailed in the distance and the first light of dawn began to creep over the city, Lilian made a silent vow.

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He would never allow himself to feel like this ever again.

He would never be weak, never be vulnerable.

From now on, he would do whatever it took to survive, no matter the cost.

y-eow…

As Whisper took its final, shuddering breath, Lilian felt the last of his innocence die with it.

He gently laid the kitten’s body down and stood, his eyes hard and cold as he surveyed the bloody scene around him.

"I uh… don’t… sob… wanna be like this… sob… I- hate it."

In this world, those who were strong enough to keep their emotions in check will inevitably succumb to their own weakness.

That is what Lilian had felt when he was a young boy… a street rat that had to kill… that had to survive… it was the one thing he hated and never wanted to do.

The thought of killing altered his views ever since that night and when the time of change came, even old habits reawakened in the moment of a crisis.

Whether it would be in the same world or a different reality.

What remains, always stay…