The Bride He Hates-Chapter 60: Equal Or Not

The bed beside her was cold when Lyanna woke up the next morning. Azrael hadn’t come to their chambers last night. After walking out of the study, he had just disappeared.

She lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, trying to summon the empathic ability again. She wanted to feel where he was and what he was feeling. But she couldn’t. The connection was gone, as if it never existed.

And she wasn’t sure whether she was relieved or frustrated.

Finally, she dragged herself out of bed and dressed. When she entered the dining hall, she saw Azrael already there, reading reports.

"Good morning."

"Morning." Lyanna replied, sitting opposite him.

They both ate in silence, pretending to be absorbed in their own thoughts.

"Training with Adrian today?"

"Yes, in the afternoon."

He just nodded in response while she gave a faint smile, and watched him. She noticed how he was holding his goblet, the small furrow between his brows as he read. She remembered his emotions from last night. And the realization that she was falling for him, maybe had already fallen.

This thought was terrifying. This was the man who had forced her into this marriage, who had treated her like his obedient slave for months, making sure she understood she was his property, not a partner.

How can I fall in love with a person who has been so cruel to me?

"Lyanna?"

She startled, realizing Azrael was watching her.

"What?"

"I asked if you needed anything. You look distracted."

"No. I’m fine." She stood up abruptly. "I should go. I’ve something to do before training." She left before he could respond.

For the next three days, Lyanna avoided him completely. She threw herself into her training with Adrian, spent hours in the castle library, reading about vampires, and attended court sessions her presence was necessary, but she always surrounded herself with others and never gave Azrael a chance for private conversation. She even spent her nights in the library.

She knew she was being a coward but she didn’t know what else to do. She had fallen for a man who had hurt her, had forced her into this marriage, and most importantly, she didn’t know if her feelings were real or just a survival mechanism, like Stockholm syndrome.

On the fourth day, as she was leaving the library with her arms full of books, Azrael suddenly appeared in front of her, blocking her path.

"You’ve been avoiding me?"

"I’ve been busy."

"Lyanna!"

"What do you want, Azrael?" She asked as she put the books on a nearby table.

"I want to know why you’ve been hiding from me since that night."

"I’m not hiding. I’m just..."

"Busy?" He snickered and stepped closer while she resisted the urge to back away. "You’ve attended every court session but left the moment they ended. You’ve eaten your meals in your chambers alone before I could join you. You’ve made sure we’re never alone together. That’s not being busy, that’s avoidance."

"Maybe I just need space."

"From what? From me, or from your feelings?"

His words caught her off guard. She had expected him to avoid the issue as well, but instead, he was confronting her.

"Both." She admitted.

"Why?"

"Because it’s confusing! Because I don’t understand what I feel or why I feel it!" She replied in frustration. "You don’t want me to feel your emotions, but you also don’t want me to give you space. What exactly am I supposed to do?"

"I want you to stop running from what’s between us."

"There’s nothing between us except a forced marriage and some common enemies."

"Is that really what you think?" He sounded hurt.

"That’s the problem!" Lyanna put her hands on her temples. "I felt what you were feeling that night. Your fear, your... whatever else it was. It scared me, Azrael because I don’t know how to process it. I can’t understand how the man who feels those things is the same man who married me for revenge."

"So you’re just going to avoid me indefinitely?"

"I don’t know! Maybe! I need time to think!"

"Time to think, or time to convince yourself you don’t feel anything?"

The accusation hurt her because it was partly true. She was trying to talk herself out of caring about him, trying to rebuild the emotional walls that had crumbled when she felt his emotions.

"Why do you care?" She asked. "You walked out on me. You left after I saw what you were feeling. You don’t want me to show your emotions, and you don’t want me close. So why does it matter if I’m giving you the space you obviously want?"

"Because..." He stopped himself.

"Because why?"

"Because I don’t want space. I want you. But I don’t know how to have you without destroying us both."

Lyanna smiled bitterly.

"That doesn’t make sense."

"None of this makes sense but still it’s true."

They just stood there in the corridor, struggling with emotions they didn’t know how to name or handle. Finally, Lyanna picked up her books.

"I need time, Azrael. I need to figure out what I feel without your emotions bleeding into mine. Can you give me that?"

"How much time?"

"I don’t know." She replied and walked away before he could respond but she felt his gaze on her back all the way down the corridor.

Two days later, during one of the court sessions, one of the nobles indirectly said that Lyanna wasn’t experienced enough to participate in military strategy, and Azrael had agreed in front of the entire court.

It felt like a dismissal, like he was putting her back in her place. That night, Lyanna waited for him in their chambers to confront him.

"You undermined me in front of the entire court." She said the moment he entered.

"I just stated a fact. You’ve been a vampire for only a few weeks. Lord Cedric has been a vampire for three centuries, so his experience matters more in military strategies." He replied casually as he walked past her and sat on a chair.