The Amusing Adventures of a Directionally Challenged Dad and Daughter-Chapter 163

With Chang'an's issue resolved, Old Gu Six's anxious heart finally settled.

Truthfully, he and his daughter could leave this place now, but he discovered that while his spiritual consciousness could depart, his physical body could not.

Couldn't this tribulation mechanism be adjusted a little? Did it really have to last a hundred years?

He had a strong suspicion that his own father was behind this mischief—but he had no proof.

Somewhere in the void, within a grand hall, an old man sneezed. Rubbing his nose, he muttered to himself, "You two are too troublesome—just stay and play elsewhere for a few more years."

Old Gu Six had originally planned to descend the mountain today, but that giant python still hadn't arrived with the compensation.

Well, he could wait a little longer.

First, he needed to repair the rift. Otherwise, even as he and his daughter drove intruders away, more would keep coming through—when would it ever end?

Old Gu Six set up an array with spirit stones, sat within it, and let his spiritual consciousness leave his body. Only after exiting this world did he lift his seals.

High in the clouds, he found this world's Heavenly Dao—and what he saw shocked him. The entity looked utterly drained, as if its vitality had been sucked dry by some demon.

"Old ​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​‌‌​​​​‌‍man, are you alright?"

The Heavenly Dao wearily lifted its gaze at the newcomer, speaking weakly, "You've come?"

"Yeah." Seeing it in such a state, Old Gu Six almost felt too guilty to bring up his request.

Upon closer inspection, his frown deepened.

No wonder the old man was in such a state—something vile was siphoning away the Heavenly Dao's power.

Another was draining the mortal realm's dragon veins of their fortune. Oh? And one was even trying to steal the emperor's imperial aura?

Hah? A "conquest system"? After successfully seducing a target, it siphoned their fortune?

Had the Heavenly Dao itself been conquered? Was that why its power was being drained?

What kind of demons and monsters were these?

And that so-called "revenge system"? If you want revenge, fine—but why resort to such despicable methods?

Good heavens, even a "fertility system"? Children are destined by fate—you get however many you're meant to have. Why force it?

At least there was one normal one—ah, a "slacker system." Good.

This world was on the verge of collapse again. If it fell apart this time, the Heavenly Dao might not have the strength to reset it.

A third of its power had already been stolen.

"Enough talk. Hand over your merits—I'll go patch things up."

The Heavenly Dao: ...That sounded suspiciously like a robbery. And why did his gaze seem so off?

Old Gu Six poked it twice. Too exhausted to argue, the Heavenly Dao obediently surrendered its merits, silently vowing to stay far away from this family in the future—none of them were good news.

With the merits in hand, Old Gu Six transformed into a streak of light and vanished, leaving the Heavenly Dao behind, clutching its chest in pain.

It truly couldn't understand—this mess was clearly Old Gu Six's doing, so why was it the one suffering the consequences?

The more it thought about it, the less it wanted to work. It needed to train a successor—this damn job wasn't worth it anymore.

Meanwhile, Chang'an, determined to lose weight, had gone to the fields to farm alongside the puppets. Round as a ball, she squatted down and became a perfect sphere.

She pinched her chubby legs, then the soft, jiggly fat on her belly.

"This is clearly obesity—high risk of hypertension, hyperlipidemia, and diabetes."

"Sigh... I got fat without even noticing, and now losing it will be torture."

The laboring puppets glanced at Chang'an with doting smiles. Dayi crouched beside her to plant potatoes.

"Little Master, Dayi has learned to make potato pancakes. Shall I make some for you?"

Potato pancakes? Crispy and fragrant?

In Chang'an's mind, two tiny versions of herself appeared. The white Chang'an insisted she shouldn't eat—she was on a diet. The black Chang'an argued that one bite wouldn't hurt—she was already this fat, what difference would one more bite make? She could always diet later.

The black Chang'an won.

Holding up one chubby finger, Chang'an said, "Just one."

"Okay!" Dayi's grin stretched ear to ear as it happily skipped off to the kitchen to prepare the pancakes.

Chang'an decided dieting wasn't healthy—better to exercise more and work harder.

She had promised to eat just one, but when the golden-brown pancakes arrived, the temptation proved too strong. She ended up devouring five or six.

Full and lazy, she placed a bamboo lounger in the peach grove and lay down, contemplating weight loss.

She didn't contemplate for long before dozing off, a tiny bubble forming at her nose as she slept.

By the time Old Gu Six returned, six or seven days had passed. Seeing him stumble weakly, Chang'an couldn't help but let her thoughts wander.

"Dad, you...?"

Old Gu Six: ...

Yeah, his mind went there too.

What a loss. That rift had been far harder to repair than expected, draining a significant amount of his divine power. The merits from the Heavenly Dao hadn't been enough—he'd had to chip in an extra twenty thousand himself.

Some of this was Purple Extreme's fault. He'd have to collect compensation later.

But first, he needed to rest. He felt completely drained.

"Go play. I need to rest." With that, he commandeered Chang'an's bamboo lounger.

Just as he lay down, he suddenly bolted upright like a reanimated corpse.

"Come here, kiddo."

The beckoning gesture was practiced and smooth.

Chang'an didn't mind. Waddling over on her plump legs, she strained her "slender" neck to look up at her father.

Old Gu Six stared at her upturned face—even at this angle, her double chin was still visible. He fought back a laugh, coughing into his fist until he regained composure.

With a solemn expression, he lightly tapped her forehead.

A cold rush shot through her mind. Chang'an shivered—unaware that with that shiver, 99% of her divine power had been sealed away.

Patting her head, Old Gu Six said, "Go play. Once I've rested, we'll head down the mountain."

This was necessary. Without the seal, his daughter's mere presence would undo all his rift repairs.

His kid was just that powerful—such was the strength of bloodline. (｡◕‿◕｡)

He appeared to be sleeping, but in truth, he was recovering his depleted divine energy.

Chang'an didn't disturb him, guessing his exhaustion was related to fixing the rift.

She returned to the fields, working like her life depended on it—anything to shed the weight.

Dayi tried to reassure her, saying she'd naturally slim down as she grew older.

Chang'an, butt in the air as she dug for sweet potatoes, wiped sweat from her brow without looking up.

"But that'll take forever! Am I supposed to stay this fat for centuries?"

Her whiny little voice was almost comical. Dayi quickly busied itself gathering potatoes to hide its amusement.

What it didn't mention was that they could've used spiritual energy to farm—it would've been far more efficient.

But ever since she joined, they'd all been humoring her, sticking to manual labor.

Chang'an worked in her father's pocket dimension for as long as he slept.

After half a month, her efforts showed—she could now see her toes past her belly.

When Old Gu Six awoke, his heart ached at the sight of his noticeably slimmer daughter.

All that precious chub he'd worked so hard to nurture—nearly gone!

Fearing she'd keep dieting, he hurriedly whisked her out of the pocket dimension.

The moment they emerged, they spotted the giant python coiled in a pit, two fat, mud-caked ginseng roots with broken tendrils beside it.

The serpent's body bore wounds—some shallow, some deep. Two looked man-made, as if pierced by hunting spears.

Old Gu Six silently stored the giant python into his spatial realm, where it joined the company of four wolves.

The python, utterly bewildered, blinked in confusion—had it really been transported to a new place in the blink of an eye?

Dayi stepped forward, grabbed its tail, and dragged it to a nearby mountain.

Outside, Old Gu Six picked up two nearly withered ginseng roots and handed them to Chang'an. "Daughter, plant these in your spatial realm."

Chang'an took them and tossed them inside, then suddenly widened her eyes in realization.

"Dad! My space has expanded—it’s just like yours now, with mountains and a river!"

"That’s how it was always meant to be. Let’s go."

Old Gu Six scooped Chang'an up in one arm and carried her out of the valley.

"Dad, wait! Release the silver wolf. I don’t entirely trust you."

Aware of his own track record, Old Gu Six chuckled awkwardly and pulled the silver wolf out of the spatial realm.

Chang'an wriggled free, climbed onto the wolf’s back, and thought smugly—now at least they wouldn’t both get lost together. She was truly a genius.