Taming the Beast World with a Frying Pan-Chapter 46: Poison is a Condiment

Ren climbed onto the bed, her knees leaving muddy smudges on the pristine black furs. She felt like a swamp monster infiltrating a silk factory.

She was naked. She was covered in soot and snake-slime. And she was clutching the stolen Jade Key in her right hand, hiding it behind her back like a guilty toddler.

"You are shivering," Syris murmured, his eyes tracking a droplet of mud as it slid down her collarbone. "The ’mud mask’ is cold?"

"Freezing," Ren lied, her teeth chattering. "I need... warm wine. To heat the blood."

She reached for the goblet on the obsidian table with her left hand.

"Here," she said, her heart pounding. "You drink first. To... toast my grief."

As she passed the goblet to him, she used the cover of her body to slip thesedative powder she had raided from the vault into the wine. It dissolved instantly.

’Please work,’ Ren prayed. ’Please be strong enough to knock out a dinosaur.’

Syris took the goblet. He looked at her, his amethyst eyes glowing with affection and lust.

"To the ghost Tiger," Syris toasted mockingly. "May he stay dead."

He drained the cup in one long swallow.

Ren held her breath. She watched his pupils. She counted seconds.

’One. Two. Three. Drop. Please drop.’

Syris lowered the empty goblet. He licked his lips.

"Mmm," Syris hummed thoughtfully. "Notes of blackberry. Oak. And... bitter root?"

Ren froze. "You... you can taste that?"

"Yes," Syris smiled, tossing the goblet aside. "The bitterness adds a pleasant kick."

He leaned forward, looking completely, utterly awake. His eyes were clear. His muscles were tense. There was zero drooping.

’Why?’ Ren thought, horror dawning on her. ’Why aren’t you sleepy?’

[System Notification: Plan Failed. Target has ’Legendary Poison Resistance’. Effect: None.]

"You tried to drug me," Syris stated. He didn’t sound angry. He sounded... turned on. "You wanted me unconscious? To escape?"

"No!" Ren squeaked, her mind scrambling. "I wanted you... relaxed! You were so tense earlier! I thought... if you slept... the tiger ghost wouldn’t see us!"

Syris laughed. He grabbed her waist and pulled her down onto the furs.

"I do not need sleep," Syris growled, looming over her. "And you do not need to run. You are dirty, Little Mud-Chef. And I am going to clean you."

Ren panicked. She was pinned. She was naked. And she was still clutching the Jade Key in her fist, pressed into the mattress behind her back.

’I have to put it back,’ she thought frantically. ’If he finds it in my hand, he’ll know I robbed the Vault. I have to get it back onto his sash.’

Syris lowered his head.

"Hold still," he ordered.

He began to lick.

He started at her shoulder, where the mud was thickest. His forked tongue flicked out, scooping up the grime with efficient, maddening strokes.

"Syris," Ren gasped, her back arching involuntarily.

It was a bizarre sensation—being groomed like a hatchling, but with an undercurrent of raw sexual hunger. His tongue was cool, strong, and relentless. He licked the mud from her collarbone. He licked the soot from her breast.

"You taste of earth," Syris murmured against her skin, vibrating with pleasure. "Why are you afraid? I am only cleaning my prize."

He moved lower, his tongue swirling around her navel, cleaning the dirt from her stomach.

Ren seized the moment.

While his face was buried in her midriff, she maneuvered her right hand. The sheer silk sash was lying loose on the bed beside his hip.

’Careful. Careful.’

With the dexterity of a pickpocket, she slid the Jade Key out of her palm and tied it onto the silk cord. She nudged it until it looked like it was simply untied, rather than stolen.

Click.

The stone key hit the bed.

Syris paused. He lifted his head slightly. "What was that sound?"

"My... bones!" Ren yelped. "My hip popped! Grief arthritis!"

Syris shrugged, accepting the lie because he was too focused on the task at hand. "You are fragile. I will be gentle."

He went back to work.

He licked down her hip bone. He cleaned her thigh. He was thorough. Terrifyingly thorough.

"Clean," Syris whispered, admiring the strip of pale skin he had revealed amidst the mud. "Now... the center."

He pushed her legs apart.

Ren’s brain short-circuited.

’Wait. No.’

She remembered the Vault. She remembered sliding through the pit of viper-mud. She remembered the sweat, the soot, and the swamp water.

She wasn’t just "earthy." She was filthy.

Syris didn’t care. He is a snake. He leaned in, his breath ghosting over her inner thighs, his forked tongue extending, aiming for the most sensitive—and currently, most compromised—part of her anatomy.

’Oh god,’ Ren thought, mortified. ’Swamp crotch.’

Just as his tongue was about to make contact, Ren snapped.

"NO!"

She scrambled backward, crab-walking up the bed so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash.

Syris blinked, his tongue retracting. He looked like a man who had just had a steak snatched off his fork.

"What?" Syris demanded, frustration bleeding into his voice. "Why do you run? I am serving you!"

"I... I can’t!" Ren shouted, clutching a fur to her chest. Her face was burning bright red. "It’s... it’s unsanitary!"

"I don’t care!" Syris argued, reaching for her ankle.

"But I do!" Ren shrieked, kicking her legs. "Syris, I literally rolled in mud! There is sand! There is grit! It will be like... like licking sandpaper! You’ll ruin your tongue!" 𝓯𝓻𝒆𝙚𝒘𝓮𝙗𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝒍.𝙘𝓸𝙢

"I will risk it!"

"I won’t! I have standards!"

Ren leaped off the bed, clutching her dignity.

"I need a bath!" Ren announced, backing toward the door to the Royal Springs. "A real bath! With soap! And scrubbing! Do not follow me! If you come in, I will... I will scream so loud that glass shatters!"

Syris sat up on his knees, naked and looking thoroughly confused.

"You are rejecting pleasure... because of sand?"

"YES!" Ren turned and bolted. "Sand is the enemy of romance! Goodbye!"

She slammed the hidden door to the springs shut behind her. She slumped against the stone, sliding down to the floor, burying her burning face in her muddy hands.

"I am the worst seductress in the world," she groaned.

[System Notification: Task 3 (Pantry Raid) - Failed. Task 4 (Escape) - Failed.] [Status: Key Returned. Map Acquired. Dignity Lost.]

Ren looked at her reflection in the dark water of the pool. She looked like a bog witch.

"At least I have the map," she whispered.