Strongest Scammer: Scamming The World, One Death At A Time-Chapter 281: Birthday

Han Yu had taken to a quiet routine again, much like before. freewёbnoνel.com

The sun filtered gently through the plum tree in his courtyard, dappling the stone floor with scattered shadows as Han Yu brewed a fresh pot of tea. There was nothing dramatic in the air, no sudden tremors, no ominous jade slips glowing ominously, and no rats parachuting from rooftops.

For once, things were... calm.

And that meant something was bound to happen.

Still, Han Yu wasn’t complaining. He needed the rest. Between Meng Jueyan’s letter, the delivery of rare materials, and the quiet digestion of multiple terrifying pill concoctions, his body and soul needed every bit of peace it could soak in.

But peace didn’t last.

Three days into this relative tranquility, just as Han Yu was sorting through a pile of roasted peanuts and debating which type might work best as diplomatic gifts to his rat network, a knock came from his courtyard gate.

Not loud. Not urgent. But it had weight to it—like whoever was on the other side had confidence they were welcome.

Han Yu frowned and rose from his seat. He opened the gate, expecting maybe a curious junior or a nosy neighbor with too much free time.

Instead, he found two very round and familiar faces grinning up at him.

"Kui One?" Han Yu blinked. "Kui Two?!"

"Long time no see, brother Han!" Fatty Kui Number One stepped in first, arms outstretched like he was greeting a long-lost war buddy. Still rotund and jovial, he looked like he’d smuggled a sack of steamed buns under his robes.

"Wow, you really got uglier since I last saw you," Kui Two said with a smirk. He was leaner than Kui One, having shed a bit of his weight since becoming a proper disciple and having intensified his training in these few months, but still had that round-cheeked, mischievous look in his eyes.

Han Yu chuckled in disbelief. "You two... How did you—?"

Kui One immediately cut in. "When did you get back from your mission, huh?! And why didn’t you tell us?! We had to hear it from random gossipers in the dining hall!"

Han Yu scratched his cheek, offering a sheepish smile. "Ah... I’ve just been recovering. It wasn’t exactly a light mission."

It wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t the whole truth.

Kui One’s face instantly turned concerned. "So it was really that bad?"

Han Yu nodded lightly. "I’m fine now though. Fully recovered."

Kui Two narrowed his eyes. "The rumors said it involved the Mist Eye Sect. That true?"

Han Yu’s gaze flickered for the briefest moment. "It’s true. It was dangerous. And... I can’t say much else. The elders put a gag order on mission details."

Both Kui One and Kui Two shared a glance before nodding solemnly.

"Sounds serious," Kui Two muttered. "That sect’s been shady for a while."

"Glad you made it back in one piece," Kui One added, his tone gentler. "We were worried, you know. You vanished for half a year, no word, no notes. Not even a carrier pigeon."

"Yeah, well," Han Yu shrugged, "If I’d sent a pigeon, it probably would’ve gotten intercepted by the Mist Eye Sect, eaten by some random flying beast, or recruited by Li Mei for feather-based toxin experiments."

That earned a laugh from both of them.

Then something shifted.

Both Kui One and Kui Two suddenly smiled at each other.

Han Yu sensed the change instantly. A dangerous glint had entered their eyes—one he hadn’t seen since they’d last tried to sneak spiced wine into the open lecture hall.

"Wait," Han Yu held up a hand. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Without warning, both of them stepped in and slapped him hard on the back—twice, one from each side. The impact sent Han Yu stumbling forward, nearly losing his balance.

"Happy birthday, Brother Han!" Kui One grinned.

Han Yu blinked. "Huh?"

Kui Two beamed. "You’re eighteen now, you idiot. That means you’re officially an adult! A real man of the sect!"

Han Yu’s eyes widened.

"...Oh no."

"Oh yes," Kui One said with mock solemnity. "Your birthday. We remembered. You clearly forgot."

"I did not!" Han Yu protested.

"Yes you did," both Kui One and Kui Two said in unison.

Han Yu rubbed his temples, groaning. "Fine. Maybe I forgot. Things have been... a little busy."

"Busy nearly dying in rogue sect territory, apparently," Kui Two muttered.

Kui One nodded. "Which is exactly why we’re here. To remind you that not everything is doom and gloom. You’re eighteen now. That’s a big deal. Back in our town, they’d throw a feast! There’d be noodles, fireworks, that one guy who always fell in the river..."

"In mine they had fermented radish liquor so strong it could dissolve iron," Kui Two added helpfully.

Han Yu snorted. "We’re not doing any of that."

"Oh, we know," Kui One said.

"We brought buns instead," Kui Two added, pulling out a bulging cloth pouch from his sleeve and holding it up proudly. "Three kinds: lotus paste, pork, and surprise."

"Surprise?" Han Yu asked, wary.

"It’s either mushroom... or eel. We’re not sure anymore."

Han Yu stared at them, then burst out laughing.

"You two are ridiculous."

"We missed you too," Kui One said, his smile more genuine now.

Han Yu took the pouch, still chuckling. "Thanks. I really needed this."

"Let’s eat," Kui Two declared, plopping down by the plum tree like he owned the place. "And after that, we’ve got stories to exchange. You tell us vague hints about your top-secret mission, and we’ll tell you about the time Kui One got stuck in a spirit herb patch and came out green for a week."

Han Yu smiled as he sat down beside them.

For the first time in what felt like ages, the world felt normal.

Maybe just for a day.

Maybe just for one meal.

But in a world full of danger, conspiracies, and cultivation insanity, sometimes all you needed was a few old friends, a good laugh, and a mystery bun that might be eel.

And as the three of them dug into the meal under the swaying plum blossoms, Han Yu quietly thought to himself—

’So this is what it feels like... to be home.’

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