Stranger Danger-Chapter 469: Hey There, Black Fatty

“Didn’t the Harmony King’s shadow guard say that Ye Qing is dead, general?” Fei Chuan asked after a moment of hesitation.

The Black Dog Brigade was the elite of the Dog Battalion. They were stronger than his Azure Wolf Guards, Duan Zipao’s elite Black Water Cavalry, and Zhang Peihu’s Tiger Defense Force.

Every member in the Black Dog Brigade was highly trained in tracking, investigation, and stealth. They were the best scouts in the entire Hengshan Army. However, the Black Dog Brigade was usually deployed only during extremely important missions, and Fei Chuan really didn’t think that a dead man—one as insignificant as Ye Qing no less—counted as a matter of grave importance.

Zhou Hengshan abruptly spun on Fei Chuan and said coldly, “The shadow guard said that his Soul Lamp is out, yes, but just because the Soul Lamp is out doesn’t mean that the person linked to it is dead. There are plenty of ways in this world to fake one’s death, and I do not want a Ye Qing who is only pretending to be dead, understand?”

“I understand.” A bead of sweat formed on Fei Chuan’s forehead.

“You understand? If you really do understand, then you wouldn’t have allowed Ye Qing to escape the city!” Zhou Hengshan abruptly stepped forward and slapped Fei Chuan in the face. Caught completely off guard, the Wolf Commander hit the ground hard and rolled twice before he caught himself. The bruised half of his face looked so bloody it was like he had been hit by a horse.

Fei Chuan paid his wound no attention, however. He quickly sat up and crawled up to Zhou Hengshan on all fours, begging, “I beg your forgiveness, general.”

“Forgiveness? You dare beg for forgiveness when your incompetence shamed me so that I could barely lift my head before Hong Jianglong?” Zhou Hengshan kicked Fei Chuan on his back before stomping on his chest, breaking it and causing the commander to spit out a glob of blood.

“Never in my life have my pride been trampled so, and it’s all because of you!”

He didn’t mind losing Duan Zipao. He didn’t mind losing most of his Black Water Cavalry either. Their failure proved that they were worthless trash, and trash deserved to be thrown out. Plus, the one thing this world didn’t lack was people.

What he couldn’t stand was his pride and reputation being dragged through the mud.

“Mercy... general... it is true... I have failed my duty... I... am willing to... accept my punishment...” Fei Chuan wheezed.

“General, Commander Fei’s carelessness had ruined your plans and your reputation. You have every right to punish him for it.” Zhang Peihu dropped to one knee. “However, it is also true that Ye Qing is a cunning trickster. It isn’t completely Fei Chuan’s fault that Ye Qing was able to slip past him and the Wolf Battalion.”

“Commander Fei had served you faithfully and tirelessly for many years. Can you please forgive him on account of everything he has done for the Hengshan Army? Give him a chance to redeem himself?”

A long time later, Zhou Hengshan finally withdrew his leg and grunted. “You’re lucky I cannot recall a single moment where you were disloyal to me. Otherwise, I would take your life for sure.”

“Thank you, general.” Both Zhang Peihu and Fei Chuan bowed their heads deeply.

“You may not die, but you will atone for your crimes. When you return to your battalion, you will receive eight hundred blows of flogging and be demoted three ranks.”

“As you command.” Fei Chuan nodded and finally allowed himself a sigh of relief. His back was completely drenched in cold sweat. For a moment there, he really thought that Zhou Hengshan was going to kill him.

“Fei Chuan, have some men clean up this mess. Peihu, take the rest back to their respective camps,” Zhou Hengshan ordered before flying away.

Zhou Hengshan didn’t return to his headquarters immediately after flying back to Tian Yong. Instead, he went to the Harmony King’s residence. Everyone with an important post attached to their name was already gathered at the main hall.

There was Tu Yulei, the Chief of the Tian Yong Pacification Bureau,

Hong Jianglong, the Pacification Commissioner of the North,

An Yifang, Regional Inspector of the Tian Yong administration division,

Tie Wuying, one of the two legendary constables of the Tian Yong administration division and a fourth rank Blue Shirt Constable,

And finally, Lei Xiaodan, Judicial Commissioner of the Tian Yong Intelligence Department.

“General Zhou,” Lei Xiaodan greeted the man after he stepped into the main hall. Everyone else paid him no attention whatsoever.

Zhou Hengshan gave Lei Xiaodan a nod of acknowledgement. Then, he looked at the Harmony King—the old man was currently sitting at the seat of honor and looking drained in every way possible—and clasped his hands in apology. “I have come to apologize for my crimes, Your Highness.”

“Have you not slain the murderer of my son, Ye Qing? What crimes are you talking about?” A trickle of energy returned to the Harmony King’s eyes when he looked at Zhou Hengshan.

The general replied, “There are two. First, I had nearly injured the princess in my eagerness to capture Ye Qing. Second, I’m not actually sure if Ye Qing is dead.”

“What did you say?” The Harmony King straightened up and stared at Zhou Hengshan intently. “Chu Hao has already confirmed that Ye Qing’s Soul Lamp is out. That is clear proof that he is dead, isn’t it?”

Zhou Hengshan shook his head. “The Soul Lamp is the Soul Lamp, and Ye Qing is Ye Qing. Just because the Soul Lamp is out doesn’t necessarily mean that Ye Qing is dead.”

“There are many ways to fake death and deceive the Soul Lamp. We cannot disregard the possibility that someone had snuffed it out on purpose to conceal Ye Qing’s survival either. Therefore, I cannot in good conscience say that Ye Qing is certainly dead!”

“Did you just suggest that the Pacification Bureau purposely extinguished Ye Qing’s Soul Lamp to protect him, fatty?” Hong Jianglong glared at him angrily.

“I’m just stating facts,” Zhou Hengshan replied.

“Stating facts my ass! I think you just want to slander the Pacification Bureau, and this is hardly the first time you’ve done this! Do you really think you can toy with us as you please?” Hong Jianglong shot to his feet and strode toward Zhou Hengshan.

“Stand down, Jianglong.” Tu Yulei raised a hand to stop him. “Ye Qing was a member of the Pacification Bureau. Considering the severity of the crimes he committed, it’s perfectly natural for someone to suspect that foul play was involved.”

He then turned to Zhou Hengshan and stared him directly in the eye. “That said, an accusation like this is quite severe, General Zhou. Do you have proof? If you do, then I am perfectly willing to accept our due punishment. But if you don’t, then don’t blame me for bringing this up to the emperor and accuse you of slander!”

“The Pacification Bureau will not tolerate any besmirchment to its good name!”

Zhou Hengshan flinched. Tu Yulei was a model scholar who valued promises and obeyed the rules to a fault. Generally speaking, he always meant what he said. The Pacification Bureau was the designated right hand of the Son of Heaven, and the emperor valued their opinions greatly. If Tu Yulei brought this up to the emperor, and the emperor decided that his crime was true, then he was going to be in deep shit to say the least.

Lei Xiaodan hurriedly played the mediator. “General Zhou is a straightforward man, and he is simply eager to confirm if the prince’s murderer has been executed. He didn’t mean to slander the Pacification Bureau. Please forgive him on account of the Harmony King and my presence.”

“General Zhou, what are you waiting for? Apologize to Chief Tu already.”

“Forget it,” Tu Yulei interrupted before Zhou Hengshan could react. “This is your first and final warning. If you make the same mistake again, then I will take the appropriate measures.”

“Xiaodan. Is Ye Qing truly still alive? Cough! Cough...” The Harmony King asked urgently.

“I can’t say at the moment,” Lei Xiaodan replied, “but I have brought a Strange Artifact that might resolve this conundrum.”

“What is it?” The Harmony King asked.

“Renhe!” Lei Xiaodan called out, and Chu Renhe stepped in with a bronze box in his hands. The young man bowed his head in salute.

“Greetings, Your Highness, my lords,” said the inspector general before he finally handed the box to Lei Xiaodan.

After Lei Xiaodan received the box, he sent away the servants and maids before saying, “Before we start, I must say that this Strange Artifact is an unusual one. You may find yourself offended by whatever comes next. I would urge you not to.”

“Pretentious bastard,” Hong Jianglong muttered under his breath.

“It will be fine. Let us begin,” Tu Yulei replied, and everyone else had no qualms with this either.

“Very well.” Lei Xiaodan nodded and performed a hand gesture. He then struck the bronze box lightly and caused the runes on its surface to light up slowly. A second later, the box slowly flipped open to reveal its contents.

“Wahaha! We meet again, two-faced tiger! How’s your dad? Your mum? Your second uncle’s wife’s sister’s husband’s older sister’s distant relative? And what other questions do you have for me?”

The second the blue box opened a crack, a prattling voice immediately emerged from within. When the box was finally open, they saw that the speaker was a little person just a little over three inches tall. It had two faces—literally, one half of its face was rosy and healthy, while the other half was withered and dead—and its arms and legs were spread out and nailed to a wooden cross. It looked odd to put it mildly.

“Oho? It’s not just you this time! Look at the crowd!”

The little person didn’t seem to have a neck bone because its head kept spinning round and round in excitement. “Nice to meet you, black fatty! Has anyone ever told you that you look like a pig? Oops, sorry, I usually speak before I think. What I really mean to say is, to call you a pig would be an insult to pigs because there are no pigs in the world who are as fat as you, seriously! How the hell are you so fat, man?”

Zhou Hengshan’s face darkened. There was only one person in this room who fit the little person’s description, of course.

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