SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S FIANCÉ-Chapter 222

- HAZEL -

So I’m his girlfriend. I stare timidly at the back of the passenger seat from my sat position in the back seat. I still don’t know how to deal with this information.

In reality, I’m with Killian, but to Kate, who I may see a lot due to the fact that I’m on some kind of school holiday and will resume my daily life, I’m with his brother. I still don’t know how to deal with this information. It seems surreal. It seems annoying and it seems stupid and what I hate the most is that I was too frightened to say a word about it.

I swallow, lowering my gaze. Because back then, all I could think about was me and a little bit of her, Kate. I let out a sigh. Killian and I haven’t interacted verbally since. I know there wasn’t much of a chance to due to the situation but it sucks. I was supposed to be in this vehicle with him but plans change I guess. . . No matter how sudden.

“Is this the point where I worry, amor?”

Huh? I jerk my head forward to stare at the man driving this car. It’s Liam. Did I just hear Spanish? I think I did. I know Killian’s not Spanish but anyone can use that word, haha. I let out a sigh, my attempt to cheer myself up with the slightest distraction is not working.

“No.” My voice is sunken. “Not really.” The ends of my lips curl slightly but fall back flat. I let out a sigh. The more I stay with Killian, the more I remember why our relationship should be forbidden. But the more I want this to work. If only he wasn’t a professor and if only he wasn’t engaged. And to someone so dear to me. “When will I get home?” I bite my lower lip hard after this question, looking at Liam.

His attention darts towards the maps displayed on the screen then at me through the rear mirror. “Not so long from now.” He murmurs.

“Mmm.” I hum. This is when an idea pops into mind. I take my phone out and book an uber. “Please, stop me at the first cafe we pass by. I have someone waiting for me there.” I say to him. This is my ticket to not making me have him take me home. While Killian and Kate rode together, the last thing I want is either of them following me home and being introduced as the woman of the man before me. Not that it’s a bad thing, it just makes this charade worse when I have to pretend with way more people than with just her. Especially people I see during my everyday life and even I know how involved my parents can be in my life relationship wise.

Which brings me back to my past relationship. I fold my fingers into a clenched fist. What I’d do not to stumble across Tristan and Ivy, the perfect match made in hell. My brows furrow. Not that I should care about them, I don’t have any strong feelings towards either of them but what they did pricks. Even now, the disgust is still there. I don’t even know if they’re together or not, I never kept tabs much afterwards.

My brows eases up when a thought comes to mind. Can I really condemn either of them now though? Am I not doing the same thing? I question myself.

The more I think about the likelihood of my situation linking with theirs, the more I realise why I’m so hesitant to opening up to Kate.

No! I convince myself, determination to differ never felt so strongly. I am nothing like Ivy. Killian and Kate are in an open relationship, I AM allowed to be with him.

Did I know that before, though?

These opposing thoughts are messing with my head. I didn’t think I’d have a battle my decision in my own head, not in this time and age, and not when I’ve gone this far. I exhale, a heavy breath out my mouth.

To answer to that question, no I didn’t and that made guilt plague my very soul, but now I do.

And what if it was the same with Ivy? What if Tristan lured her in and I caught them just at the peak of it? My teeth claws into my lip so hard that I can feel it sting.

The difference between Ivy and I is that I have a heart. I am apologetic and considerate. She’s not. She never was. She even had the audacity to date him immediately after the cheating act was revealed. No remorse whatsoever and after that, she proceeded to go after another lady’s man so I think that speaks for itself. Plus, Tristan and I were never not exclusive. Killian and Kate are, so this rules out every single negative aspect of our relationship.

Unless he lied.

I shake my head. Killian never lies, at least not to me.

I finally drop antagonising myself with my own thoughts and focus on reality. Now that I think about it, I don’t know if Liam responded to me. I was too consumed by my own thoughts.

“Will that be okay?” I ask, staring at him through the rear mirror.

“Anything you want, angel.” Liam mouths. This makes a half grin form on my face. The difference between Liam and Killian is, Killian would never let someone else take me somewhere when he’s right there and available. And Liam only seems like someone serving a duty. Not the slightest bit of want oozes out of him towards me and it makes me feel at ease. Even before he touched me back there in front of Kate, he requested my consent. That was the most sweetest and gentlemanly thing ever.

And I think I have to get used to him referring to me with random pet names, his is not consistent. With Killian, I could always expect to hear the word ‘kitten’. I shake my head, this is not a comparison contest. Hopefully, I will work my way around this mess quickly and once I do, I can’t wait to be reunited with the one I actually want to be here with.

“Thank you.” I say to him. For the first time in this ride, a warm smile forms on my lips, a genuine one. All I need to do now is think of a way to open up to Kate because this is getting a little too chaotic.

She won’t hate me, right?. . . . After all, I’m her best friend, right?. . . .

And Ivy was my close friend too.

. . .

Sometimes, I hate my mind. The way it works against me is just freaking diabolical.