My Alleged Husband-Chapter 903 - 830_6

I’ve numbed myself over and over again, forcing myself to forget all the hurt and pain again and again, just so that one day I could be different from others. But in the end, what did I get in return? Time after time, the result I got was... nothing. I can’t even imagine what kind of ending I’m supposed to have. I’ve forced myself over and over again to be different from others, yet all it brought me was heartbreak, time and time again. Do you understand? Do you have any idea what it feels like when I pour my heart out, work harder than anyone else, and yet, behind my back, people stab me, betray me, over and over again? That despair, that pain deep in my heart—no one can truly understand it. That feeling is something I swear I’ll never want to experience again in this lifetime.

All I wished for was a peaceful life, but in the end, I got nothing! I’ve trusted my friends again and again, given my heart even to my closest classmates, but what did they repay me with in the end? Can you imagine being falsely accused, slandered, over and over again? Do you know how it feels to hear them say behind my back that I am just an orphan without parents? Do you think my heart feels nothing? Do you think I am indifferent? I’m not. I hurt, too. I feel pain, too. But I have no choice, because these are burdens I have to bear alone. After all, my parents—you, Mom and Dad—were never there for me, never accompanied me through life. Who’s to blame for all of this? Maybe only me, for being so useless. I couldn’t even hold onto my parents.

If you had stayed by my side back then, how much better would it have been? Would I not have had to endure all this suffering, all this mockery and ridicule from others? Do you know how scared and helpless I’ve been? All I ever wanted was to turn this pain into something I could treasure in my heart. I never imagined that every single time, the result would turn out this way. Perhaps happiness—something so insignificant in your eyes—is tremendously important to me. Because my grandfather needs happiness, my family needs happiness, my son, my wife, everyone connected to me needs happiness. In your eyes, happiness may not matter, but to us, happiness feels so unattainable, so luxurious.

After all, you’ve spent so many years out there in the world. Whether you are happy or not no longer seems to concern you, because you’ve already enjoyed all the happiness life had to offer. But what about us? We’ve spent all these years in this home missing you, waiting for you, yet we gained nothing in the end. When you finally returned to this home, all you thought about was traveling and chasing your own desires. Your conflict led to a severe accident—a car crash. Do you have any idea what Grandpa went through during those days? He couldn’t eat or sleep, and ended up in the hospital himself because of the pain of seeing you injured. As your father, he went through agony again and again, carrying the burden of your pain, too. Do you feel not even the slightest guilt? Do your hearts truly remain unscratched by remorse?

What does Grandpa mean to you? What do the family members in this home mean to you? To you, they mean nothing at all. In your eyes, only your own gain matters. You think that if you achieve your goal, everything else must be a success too. But you’ve completely forgotten the price of achieving that gain—how much harm you inflict on your family with your actions. Have you ever truly thought about what you should do, what kind of results you should seek, what kind of future you should create? Have you ever wondered what you’re bringing into being?

Sometimes, I really want to ask what your heart is made of. If you could even slightly put yourself in Grandpa’s shoes, consider things from his point of view, you wouldn’t have made the choices you’ve made. But now, the pain you’ve brought into Grandpa’s life—how much damage has he endured because of you? Does anyone among you have the slightest idea? You’ve never thought about how much misery, sorrow, and exhaustion you’ve created for yourselves with the lives you’ve led. You’ve always waited for your family to clean up after your mistakes, again and again. All you care about is satisfying your selfish desires, over and over, becoming more and more hardened and indifferent.

You keep saying everything I do is wrong. Well, has everything you’ve done been right? Everything you’ve done has harmed the people closest to you—those who should never be hurt so carelessly. They don’t wear their pain on their sleeves, not right away, but over time, they feel drained, feel shadows deepening inside their hearts. How could you push them toward such an ending, leading them, step by step, toward absolute despair?