My Alleged Husband-Chapter 895 - 829: The Incomparable Human Heart (Extended - )_11

Now I have no need to go over past grievances with you again and again, but do you know? Because of your actions, my son has also suffered the same hurt as I did, a hurt that even exceeds all the pain and torment I endured back then. Do you understand? From the very first day he entered school, everyone laughed at him for being a child without grandparents, a child whose grandparents don’t love him, abandoned him, just because he wasn’t cute enough. But do you know how many times my son has secretly cried over this matter? Every time he comes home from school, he clings to my wife and says, "Mom, is it really because I’m not cute enough? Is it because I’m a boy, not cute and disobedient, that Grandpa and Grandma chose not to want me, chose to continue living outside and are unwilling to come home to see me?" Do you know what kind of feeling it is deep in our hearts as parents at that moment? He is our child, yet what wrong has he committed to deserve all this? What have you brought to my child? You never thought about what consequences your actions would have on my son; in your eyes, all that matters is what you once wanted.

Now things have turned out just the way you wanted, shouldn’t you be very happy, very satisfied, very excited now? Everything has led to the current outcome because of your presence. Can you understand how much pain my son is in now? Have you never considered how you should make amends for all the remaining harm, all the pain? In fact, you never thought about how all this should be done.

In your eyes, relatives are nothing; they are just people who can be hurt casually. In your view, even if relatives are harmed, not a single person can understand how much pain they truly feel.

Did you know? When I was young and others mocked me, saying I was a child without parents because my mom and dad abandoned me, calling me an orphan, did you know it was hard for me deep inside as well? But I didn’t cry. Back then, I kept smiling because I saw a different future. I felt like I was a luminary. At that moment, I decided I would prove to everyone I was the strongest one.

During the day, when facing everyone, I was a cheerful child. But in the end? I cried alone in the dark because I knew I had no way to choose my own destiny. It was all a predetermined outcome from heaven. Even if it was a fate I least desired, what could I do? Since this fate was given to me, it proved I could only accept this fate in my lifetime, proved I could only live on through such means in my lifetime. I could only rely on unscrupulous means again and again to prove myself, to prove I was the most correct one. Sometimes, I didn’t understand how to cherish when others treated me well. Instead, I squandered their kindness towards me. What they saw was my bright side. Of course, I wanted my bright side to be seen because happiness is something that can be shared, while sorrow is not something that can be shared. Sorrow is always an unnamable burning embedded in the heart. If that kind of sorrow could be spoken, it wouldn’t be called sorrow. Sometimes I try to tell others about my inner panic, but often I find myself at a loss for words. In the end, I can only wave my hand and say, "You wouldn’t understand." Do you know how helpless that feeling is?

From the moment you abandoned me, I realized that some things are destined to be fought for alone, cannot just be spoken and then corrected with words. Mistakes made due to words are too troublesome. Gradually, I learned to introvert myself. I learned not to tell others anything. Over the past twenty-some years, I have truly realized I should be a quiet person, and at the same time, be someone who achieves goals by any means necessary. But I’m someone who talks too much. Each time, I always talk to myself, mumbling to myself because I was thinking if my parents were by my side, would they care a word for me? Would they ask what I did today, if I was bullied? But each time my hope was hollow and eventually I became an indifferent and numb person.