Martial Arts Ain't Anything Special-Chapter 39: Arriving at Mount Hua

“Holy shit that took fucking forever. Are you kidding me? It’s not like we’re crossing the whole damned country. Why the hell is it taking this long just to travel across Shaanxi?”

Chunbong burst out laughing at Seojun’s grumbling.

“If you hadn’t done all those weird things, it would’ve taken half the time.”

“What weird things?! What did I do!”

“Are you seriously asking? I don’t think even an entire day would be enough to list them all.”

“You enjoyed it too!”

“It was fun, I’ll admit.”

Setting aside the other weird stuff, the food tours they went on in every city they visited were really enjoyable.

Smack... Chunbong licked her lips.

“It was delicious. Tanghulu. Whoever thought of making tanghulu with glutinous rice cakes must be a genius.”

“You really find that tasty? It was too sweet for me to eat.”

“You just have no taste.”

This is blasphemy.

Seojun smacked his forehead and looked around.

There sure are a lot of people though.”

“Well, it’s that time of year. Plus, Huayin is always crowded anyway.”

“It’s pissing me off.”

“Why now, you lunatic.”

“There are too many people.”

Seojun sighed at the bustling crowd and scooped up Chunbong.

“Charge, Mighty Chunbong!”

“Wha!?”

Swoop— Chunbong was thrown and flew through the air.

Seojun immediately jumped after her, caught her mid-air, and landed on a rooftop.

“I forge my own path. Wherever I go becomes the road.”

“Here we go with the crazy talk again.”

Chunbong sighed deeply and put her hand on her forehead as she looked around.

“By the way, we should be able to find a place to stay, right?”

“We can always sleep outside if we can’t.”

“Ugh. No thanks.”

Chunbong’s eyes lit up when she spotted a building that looked like an inn.

“Hey! Let’s go over there!”

As they were heading towards the inn using light body arts on the rooftops, suddenly a man leaped up from the street to block their path.

“Please refrain from using light body arts to jump across rooftops during normal times.”

The man was wearing blue robes. Seojun noticed the small plum blossom pattern embroidered on his long sleeves and poked Chunbong’s side.

“Mount Hua?”

“Yeah.”

Chunbong answered quietly and made an awkward fist-palm salute with a forced smile.

“Sorry. I forgot for a moment.”

“It’s fine. No big deal.”

The man smiled brightly and then vanished.

Seojun watched the man’s footwork closely and let out a small gasp of admiration.

“Wow, a Foot Master.”

“You fucking... No, never mind.”

“What! What is it?!”

“You didn’t call him a Foot Master just because he’s good at light body arts, right?”

“Of course not! Even I wouldn’t... come on.”

When Seojun made a disgusted face, Chunbong cleared her throat awkwardly. Then she grumbled as she jumped down from the roof onto the street.

“We got scolded because of you.”

“Waaah.”

“Sigh.”

Chunbong sighed. Seojun chuckled and started walking.

“Anyways, let’s hurry. We might lose our spot.”

*Fortunately, there was no shortage of rooms.

The innkeeper looked Seojun and Chunbong up and down and asked.

“One room? Or two?”

“Hmm... What do you want to do?”

When Seojun looked at Chunbong, she answered the innkeeper.

“One.”

“A double room... with meals?”

“We don’t need meals, right?”

Seojun nodded.

“Nope.”

Chunbong paid and received the key.

“Let’s drop off our stuff and go out quickly. I’m hungry.”

“Are you trying to become a pig?”

“Shut up. Didn’t you tell me to eat a lot before?”

“Well, I came to a realization. No matter how much you eat, your cheeks just won’t get chubbier.”

“Stop saying bullshit.”

After dropping their things in the room and having a meal at a decent restaurant, the two walked down the street each with a tanghulu in their mouth.

“Miss Geum, when did they say registration for the martial arts tournament starts?”

“Next week.”

“What should we do until then?”

“How should I know? Just sightsee or something.”

“Sightseeing?”

Seojun tilted his head. Is there anything worth seeing?

Well, a city this size must have something.

“Wait, can we visit Mount Hua Sect too?”

“Outsiders can enter the open areas.”

“Oh, then should we go see Mount Hua Sect tomorrow?”

“Hmm...”

After thinking for a bit, Chunbong nodded.

“Sure, why not. It should be fine if I wear a face veil.”

“Face veil? Ah.”

Come to think of it, this was that Mount Hua Sect. There might be people who would recognize Geum Hee, not Chunbong.

“Never mind then. We can visit Mount Hua Sect some other time.”

“Really, it’s okay! Even if people from my family recognize me, almost no one else knows me. I rarely went outside the house.”

“What? You homebody!”

“It’s because my dad was overprotective.”

Chunbong smiled bitterly.

Seeing her expression seemed to dampen the mood just by looking at it, so Seojun picked her up and started running down the street.

“Let’s go, Geum Chunbong! I’ll buy you five thousand face veils today!”

“I only need one, stupid.”

“Yahoo!”

“Hey! Everyone’s staring!”

They only bought two face veils.

*When the two returned to the inn, they were drawn in by the lively atmosphere and sat down in a corner.

Though they weren’t hungry since they had just eaten, something about the mood made them want to eat something.

“Is there anything light we can eat? Something that’d pair well with alcohol would hit the spot.”

“Drinks? Sounds good.”

“No no, you’re not allowed. You’re banned from drinking until you’re all grown up.”

“Since when!”

“Now now! Big brother can’t allow it!”

When he slammed the table, Chunbong pouted.

Just then, a waiter passed by and Seojun called out to him.

“Waiter! One carbonara please!”

“Pardon...? Carbo...? We don’t have such a dish...”

“My, how uncultured.”

After thinking for a moment, Seojun asked Chunbong.

“Is somen okay?”

“Sure. Let’s order one and share.”

“Is that allowed?”

When he glanced at the waiter, he nodded.

“That’s fine.”

“Then please bring that.”

“Yes sir.”

As the waiter hurried away, Seojun sat blankly in his seat staring out the window.

What should I do after winning the martial arts tournament?

He felt the small wooden token in his pocket that Maewol from the Red Moon Pavilion had given him.

Should I ask the Hao Sect about places that might have spirit pills?

As he was pondering, suddenly a loud voice rang out.

“You dare disrespect me!?”

“You’re the one being disrespectful! What was that about spears?”

“Hah! Isn’t it obvious? The king of all weapons is the sword! Of course other weapons are inferior to the sword!”

“Oh yeah? Then prove it right here!”

One man suddenly grabbed a spear leaning against the wall. The man he was arguing with also drew his sword.

While non-martial artists quickly fled, quite a few martial artists remained—perhaps because the martial arts tournament was approaching?

One of them recognized the man holding the spear.

“Oh? Isn’t that Nam Suhyeok, the Swift Spear?”

“And the other seems to be Eom Gado, the One-Eyed Merciless Sword.”

It seemed they were somewhat famous martial artists.

Seojun watched them curiously while tapping the table.

“That’s cool and all, but will our noodles even come out with all this going on?”

“Doubt it. Unless the waiter is a Master.”

“That’s unlikely, right?”

“You never know. He could be a master who’s achieved Return To One’s Natural State.”

“Chunbong.”

“Yeah?”

“You know that’s nonsense too, right?”

“Yeah.”

Chunbong nodded. Seojun sighed as he watched the two men clashing weapons.

“Oh man, these sons of bitches.”

He clicked his tongue and stood up abruptly.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t get hurt.”

“Me, hurt? By those guys?”

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Seojun chuckled as he walked over.

The sword and spear clashed viciously, sending sparks flying.

Though they seemed to be holding back somewhat by not actively using inner qi, Seojun could tell it wouldn’t last long.

“You...!”

A blue light flashed from the One-Eyed Merciless Sword’s single eye.

After realizing he was being overpowered by the Swift Spear’s skill, he resorted to using sword qi.

“Have you lost your mind?!”

The Swift Spear also coated his spear tip with green spear qi.

The surrounding tables were already destroyed, and now it looked like the entire inn might collapse.

“Wow, a fight between weaklings!”

Seojun grinned as he inserted himself between them.

“Keep going. Come on, let me watch too.”

“Who the hell are you?!”

The One-Eyed Merciless Sword glared at him while grinding his teeth. Seojun glared right back.

“What, is that one eye of yours not even working? My fucking NOODLES! YOU LISTENING? They’re not coming out because of you two! You gonna take responsibility if the noodles get overcooked!?”

“I’ve never seen such an insane fucker!”

Unable to control his anger, the One-Eyed Merciless Sword charged at him. Seojun flicked his finger.

Ting!

The One-Eyed Merciless Sword’s eyes widened as he blocked the qi bullet.

“A Master...!”

“And you’re trash!”

Seojun, who had suddenly closed the distance, punched him in the stomach.

“Bleurgh...!”

The One-Eyed Merciless Sword fell to his knees. Perfect angle.

“Behave yourself!”

Bonk! As a flick landed on his head, the One-Eyed Merciless Sword fell asleep.

“You’re next, right?”

“...I have no desire to fight.”

“But I do.”

Seojun approached with big strides and raised his fist. The Swift Spear’s eyes trembled.

“...Please go easy on me.”

“Sure thing.”

Bonk! The Swift Spear took a flick to the head and lay down nicely next to the One-Eyed Merciless Sword.

“Vengeance for my somen.”

When Seojun raised his fist, the surrounding martial artists applauded.

“Splendid!”

“What wonderful skill!”

As expected, these people known as martial artists are all completely insane.

Seojun shook his head and shouted towards the back of the inn.

“So can I get my somen now?”

“Y-Yes, sir!”

That’ll do.

Seojun started walking back to his seat with a big smile.

“We meet again, Dao Friend.”

His steps halted the familiar voice.

At the entrance of the inn stood the Mount Hua Sect martial artist from earlier.

“Oh, right. What’s the matter?”

“I heard there was a fight, so I came to stop it. Mount Hua Sect is in charge of Huayin public order, you see.”

“Ah, I see.”

Then what kind of guts did these friends have to fight here?

He was briefly curious, but quickly understood the real reason.

They’re just morons.

Seojun was nodding when the man approached.

“So could you come with me for a moment? It won’t be anything serious.”

“Huh? Me? But I didn’t fight?”

The man’s gaze went to the two collapsed men and then back to Seojun.

Seojun nodded.

“I guess I did.”

“Then...”

“Wait a moment.”

Just then, a woman emerged from among the martial artists.

Though her face was hidden by a bamboo hat pulled low, no one would mistake her for anything but a woman.

Oh, she has three heads.

Seojun reflexively reached for his sword.

The woman tilted her head for a moment before speaking.

“This person only stopped the fight. If not for him, the entire inn would be destroyed by now, wouldn’t it?”

“Ah, Nam...”

“Shh. My identity is supposed to be a secret.”

Her lips curved into a gentle smile beneath the bamboo hat.

“Anyway, could you let this slide for my sake?”

“Hmm... Alright, Young Lady. If he stopped the fight, then of course.”

The man smiled awkwardly and gave Seojun a slight bow.

“I apologize for the misunderstanding.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Thank you for your understanding, Dao Friend.”

“Hmm.”

“Is something wrong?”

“All this dao dao talk is making me crave pizza.”

“Ah... I’m afraid pizza would be hard to find in Huayin.”

“No way... Darn.”

Seojun smacked his forehead and gave a slight bow to the woman with breasts as big as her head.

“Thank you for your help.”

“It’s nothing. I’ve been drawn to your cute little sister since earlier.”

“Oh ho. You’ve got good taste. My Chunbong is indeed the cutest in the world.”

“Hehe, is that—”

“Oh, my somen’s here. Gotta go.”

Can’t keep somen waiting.