Martial Arts Ain't Anything Special-Chapter 36: The Black Serpent (1)

“Alright then! Now that we’ve had the wedding, time for the cake cutting ceremony!”

“Hiiieek...!”

As Seojun drew his sword and approached, Seong backed away in panic. He tripped over his own feet, fell on his butt with a thud, and waved his hands frantically, his face pale.

“W-Why the hell are you doing this?! You can’t solve everything in the world with force!”

“Hey fucker, why are you suddenly pretending to be logical?”

“I’m not pretending, it’s just the truth!”

“You’re wrong.”

“Huh?”

Seojun took a big step forward, bent down and stared into Seong’s eyes.

“Let me give you some advice.”

A faint golden aura flowed behind Seojun’s dark eyes.

Seong couldn’t move a finger as their eyes met.

As if facing something indescribable, his blank mind craved only survival.

“In Murim, the strong dictate the laws and the weak are criminals. Sometimes you suffer injustice simply for being powerless.”

Each word was engraved in his mind, his mouth hanging open as his body trembled.

“Heroes are praised for the same reason. Not for standing alone in a world of survival of the fittest, but for looking out for the weak.”

He couldn’t resist. He couldn’t fight back.

The words etched in his mind became an absolute law, binding him.

“But I’m not a hero. You understand? If you act pathetic, you die.”

Huff... huff...  Seong’s breathing grew ragged.

As the golden energy in Seojun’s eyes intensified, Seong felt his consciousness fading.

“Not answering?”

“Ugh...”

Thud. He collapsed with his eyes rolled back.

Seojun looked around in confusion.

“What the... Wait, but I didn’t even do anything?”

He turned to look at Seong Leehyang and the unnamed man, who grabbed her hand and backed away slightly.

“Hold on... I swear this isn’t what it looks like...”

It truly hurts my heart.

*The name of the man he had learned was apparently Yang Chu-il.

It wasn’t particularly important.

He was just satisfied that Seong Leehyang’s testimony could prove his innocence.

“So... you’re saying it was an act?”

“Wasn’t it super obvious? I must really have no talent for acting.”

“Ah, well... um...”

Yang Chu-il couldn’t bring himself to speak.

It seemed so clearly the actions of a genuine madman that he hadn’t even had time to notice if it was acting or not, but it felt too rude to say that out loud.

Since Yang Chuil kept his mouth shut for that reason, Seojun quietly stroked his chin.

“Or maybe... I must be better than I thought!”

It wasn’t true at all, but Seong Leehyang nodded anyway.

“Yes... Thank you. Honestly, I did it in the heat of the moment with blood rushing to my head, but... I’m still not sure. Will I really not be a burden to you...?”

“Hyang, what are you saying? Not at all, you absolutely will not be a burden.”

“Uncle...”

“Hyang...”

Seojun clicked his tongue at the couple who quickly fell into their own world.

“This is making me feel sick.”

Some of us can’t even get a girlfriend, and they have the nerve to do this public display of affection right in front of me?

Tsk tsk. Seojun clicked his tongue again, picked up the unconscious Seong and roughly threw him into his house.

He messed with his insides a bit with qi before throwing him, so he would have a hard time if he needed to exert himself in the future.

Originally he was going to cut off a limb or two, but... he lost interest. This was more efficient anyway.

Seong would probably get beaten up even in a fair fight with Seong Leehyang now.

“Well, be careful of that guy. Who knows, he might suddenly come at you with a knife.”

“Unless he commits suicide out of fear, I doubt that will happen... But I understand.”

Seojun nodded at Yang Chuil’s response and stretched vigorously.

Anyways, with this the Great Mating Operation was a great success!

The only remaining mission was to appease the sulking Geum Chunbong.

*Returning to Granny Chun’s house, Seojun leaped over the wall and entered the room.

Peeking inside, he saw his dear Geum Chunbong still fast asleep.

Thinking she’d been napping too long, he shook her awake.

“Hey hey, Chunbong. You won’t be able to sleep at night if you keep this up.”

“Ugh... so noisy... five more minutes...”

“No no! You’re getting up! If you don’t get up quickly, I’m just going to go get married!”

Chunbong’s eyes flew open.

“Eeeeek...!!”

Her face turned bright red as she flailed about.

“How...! How could I forget...!”

“Hmm. Very effective.”

“You damned bastard!”

After getting thoroughly beaten by her rapid-fire punches, Seojun scooped her up and gave her a piggyback ride.

“Alright, my Chunbong. Want to go for a walk with big brother?”

“...Where to this time?”

“The mountain fortress?”

“...Why can’t we ever go anywhere normal for walks...”

Haah... Chunbong sighed.

But he knew she’d come along even while grumbling.

And so he left the room with Chunbong on his back.

*“Wow, it’s still pretty amazing looking at it again. Doesn’t it look like a work of art?”

Seojun admired the mountain fortress that was still completely frozen.

He must have used a bit too much power back then, as the yin qi covering the fortress still hadn’t dissipated.

It looked just like the bodies excavated from Pompeii buried in volcanic ash.

In other words, there were frozen bandit ice statues everywhere.

“You call this art? Is something seriously wrong with your head?”

“Hey, isn’t that a bit harsh?”

“I think the state of your head is more severe. I’m being serious, not even joking.”

“Gasp!”

Pretending to be shocked out of courtesy, Seojun entered the fortress and looked around.

“Let’s see... Is there anything useful?”

“Who knows.”

Chunbong also jumped down from his shoulders and started searching the fortress.

Though they called it a mountain fortress, it was more like a village in the mountains.

For bandits, they had surprisingly nice interior design.

“Oh, this must be where the boss stayed.”

Seojun broke down the wooden door of an especially large building in the fortress and marveled at the interior.

“Wow... Did this bastard never clean?”

It was a complete fucking mess. Even though everything was frozen solid, some weird smell was wafting up, making him feel sick just standing there.

“Ugh... Do all men live without cleaning like this?”

“Now now, Geum Chunbong! Such gender discrimination is really problematic!”

“Bullshit.”

Chunbong snorted and started rummaging around with her sword while covering her nose with one hand.

Seojun joined in, sifting through all sorts of luggage and trash.

“Oh, what’s this?”

A few silver coins, various odds and ends, just trash. Then he found something that looked somewhat useful.

“Let me see.”

Chunbong opened a small pouch and examined its contents, then clicked her tongue.

“Just a Giant Spirit Divine Pill.”

“Divine pill? Is it good?”

“Most people call it Giant Spirit Trash Pill because it’s trash.”

“What the hell.”

Then why is it called a divine pill? Getting my hopes up for nothing.

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“Green Forest guys are always like that. They call their martial arts Giant Spirit Divine Art or whatever, but it’s no divine art. Just some shitty martial arts.”

“Seems they’re a bit full of themselves.”

“The Fort Commander-in-Chief is Transcendent Realm.”

“Eh?”

Isn’t it a divine art at that level?

When Seojun blinked, Chunbong smiled bitterly.

“Their leader is a weird one. If he had joined a decent sect, he could have made a name for himself. Why waste such talent to join the Green Forest Bandits?”

“Oh...”

“What do you mean oh? He’s a fucking son of a bitch.”

Chunbong seemed to really hate their leader.

When he patted her head hard enough to make a sound, Chunbong had a fit of joy.

Kyaah! Stop it!”

“Aww, so cute.”

“Stop calling me cute too!”

“Okay okay. My Chunbong is just too pretty!”

“Eek...!”

Seojun chuckled as he watched Chunbong thrash about, then popped a Giant Spirit Divine Pill into his mouth.

“What the hell are you eating that for?!”

“I will now do a quick effectiveness test.”

“No! You damned lunatic! Spit it out quick! That pill causes inner qi to go berserk, you moron!”

Chunbong’s face turned pale as she lunged at him, but he had already swallowed the pill.

“S-Spit it out! Hurry! Throw it up!”

Chunbong clenched her fist. It looked like she was about to punch him in the guts, so he panicked and backed away, waving his hands.

“Hey! Wait, I’m fine so just a moment! Spare me!”

She stomped her feet anxiously, but he remained calm.

He could feel the Giant Spirit Divine Pill, which had gone down his throat with a nauseating taste, seeping into his body and tickling his inner qi.

I see. So this is how it works?

The flow of inner qi became rough and crude, suddenly amplifying as if to prove that it also deserved the name of a divine pill.

Seojun observed the flow quietly with his eyes half-open.

His inner qi went berserk and his body heated up. He even felt a strange mental high like some drug components were mixed in.

“Huu...”

Seojun exhaled, completely expelling the effects of the Giant Spirit Divine Pill, and nodded with satisfaction.

“Ahh, so that’s the extent of it. I’ve grasped the level of the Giant Spirit Divine Pill.”

“A-Are you okay...?”

Chunbong stood on her tiptoes to check his complexion.

He smiled while squishing her cheeks with both hands.

“Of course. It does have some effect though.”

It wasn’t a spirit pill. As Chunbong said, it could be considered a stimulant that causes qi to go berserk.

More precisely, should I say it forces out one’s latent power?

The pill seemed to make you bedridden for days after using up all the strength in your body.

“I shall personally bestow the name Giant Spirit Divine Art upon this martial art.”

“...Are you serious?”

“It’s a martial art that unleashes latent power to exert strength beyond one’s limits.”

In simpler terms, breaking past your limits. But it’ll hurt a lot after.

However, that wasn’t the part Chunbong focused on.

“Giant Spirit Divine Art my ass! That’s the name of the Green Forest Bandits’ martial art!”

“No no, think about it. Those Green Forest friends are criminals we’ll either slit the throat of or hand over to some sect when we meet them anyways, y’know?”

“So?”

“So if I’m going to beat them all up as soon as we meet, wouldn’t I become the original Giant Spirit Divine Art if I beat them all?”

“You think people will look kindly on you if you say you use the Giant Spirit Divine Art?”

“It’s not like I’m going to shout ‘Giant Spirit Divine Art!’ when I use it, so what does it matter?”

Chunbong tilted her head.

“I guess?”

“See?”

“It does kinda make sense?”

“Right?”

Then it’s decided.

From now on, this is the Giant Spirit Divine Art.