Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 126: I Also Look Down on Myself Now

As he spoke, Xu Su felt as if she was seeing the Zhou Mochen from her past life. The resemblance was uncanny...

At this point, Xu Su finally understood. It didn’t matter how long she dealt with this man, how harmless Zhou Mochen acted, or how obediently he catered to her every whim. The moment she refused to be with him and rejected him outright, his entire demeanor would change in a flash.

All of Zhou Mochen’s gentle, harmless posturing was just an act, a ploy to make Xu Su *want* to be with him.

This realization made Xu Su tremble all over. She felt as if a net had appeared out of thin air, descending from all sides to ensnare her. She couldn’t escape, couldn’t break free. All her resistance was futile.

Zhou Mochen reached out, trying to hug her, but she dodged him reflexively.

"Don’t touch me, Zhou Mochen. Don’t you dare lay a finger on me."

Zhou Mochen lowered his gaze to her. After a long moment, he expressionlessly retracted his hand. "Xu Su, don’t be afraid of me. My goal isn’t to make you fear me. Perhaps you could try... try to like me. I’m not such a bad man. You don’t have to shrink from my affection as if I were a monster."

Xu Su nearly scoffed out loud. ’First the threats, and now he’s trying to sweet-talk me?’

’He’s really mastered the whole carrot-and-stick routine.’

Too bad for him, she would never give in!

Xu Su would never allow herself to yield to a man who resorted to threats simply because she rejected his advances!

With a trembling hand, she took her phone out of her pocket and, right in front of Zhou Mochen, removed his number from her blacklist.

When she looked up at him again, she had regained her composure. Xu Su asked, "Is this acceptable? I’ll reply to your messages from now on, but I can’t go out to meet you. After the New Year, I’ll be in my senior year, and my studies will be intense. I won’t be leaving school unless it’s absolutely necessary."

Zhou Mochen stared at her intently. Xu Su probably didn’t realize that the expression on her face right now was one of indignation and loathing.

The girl’s undisguised disgust was like a dagger, making Zhou Mochen squeeze his eyes shut. It was too painful.

This wasn’t what he wanted. Zhou Mochen couldn’t understand how things had come to this.

He hadn’t wanted to force her hand.

Xu Su immediately saw the pain on his face. Zhou Mochen looked as if the pain was unbearable.

’I don’t get it,’ she thought. ’I’m the one being pressured and threatened. What right does *he* have to be in pain?’

But in the blink of an eye, Zhou Mochen reverted to his gentle, harmless facade. He attempted a smile. "Okay. This is enough. Susu, be good. Don’t hate me."

"..." His smile was just awful to look at. Xu Su averted her gaze, feeling a pang of discomfort. She quickly suppressed the fleeting sensation.

Xu Su said, "If that’s all, I’m going back to class. Zhou Mochen, I hope I don’t see you at school again. Not even once."

So cruel. Zhou Mochen felt an uncontrollable pain seize his heart again. He couldn’t understand how a young girl could be so heartless.

As she brushed past him, he couldn’t hold back. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her straight into his arms.

His voice was hoarse as he whispered in her ear, "Xu Su, just try to like me. Don’t make me so miserable, please?"

His voice startled Xu Su. ’Is Zhou Mochen about to cry?’

He held her so tightly she couldn’t look up to see if he was crying. Her mind was a complete mess, and she blurted out, "What do you have to be miserable about? I’m the one being pestered by you, and I’m not the one crying! Zhou Mochen, you’re a grown man. Don’t you find this act of yours disgusting?"

The arm around her waist tightened instantly, squeezing her until it hurt. Just as she thought Zhou Mochen was about to lose control again, he let go.

Xu Su immediately looked up at him, only to see his face in profile.

Zhou Mochen had already turned his head away. Even from the side, she could vaguely see that the rims of his eyes were a little red. It seemed her use of the word "disgusting" had gotten to him, and he refused to let her see his current state.

He stood there for a long time with his head bowed, then finally spoke in a soft voice, "Xu Su, I’m so sorry for pestering you like this. If there were any other way, I wouldn’t want to be like this. Really. I despise the man I am right now."

Zhou Mochen’s voice was calm. He said, "You should go back."

He seemed tired, too...

’That makes sense,’ she thought. ’Anyone would get tired from clinging to a one-sided love with no reciprocation.’

Xu Su frowned, standing in place for a moment. In the end, she left without saying another word.

Her feelings for Zhou Mochen were complicated—so complicated that she couldn’t sort them out herself. So, she simply bundled them all together and labeled the entire package ’disgust’.

After all, the one thing Xu Su could be sure of was that she was thoroughly disgusted with Zhou Mochen.

Disgusted with everything about him.

’As for those occasional moments of compassion... that’s just my fundamental kindness as a human being, right?’

Ignoring his thuggish behavior, Zhou Mochen had treated her very well in both this life and the last. Seeing him so dejected, Xu Su thought it was only normal for her to feel some pity. After all, a sense of compassion is part of human nature.

Xu Su still hadn’t snapped out of her daze by the time she reached the classroom door.

The last class of the afternoon had already begun. Xu Su composed her expression and pushed open the classroom door.

It was English class. The teacher saw that Xu Su was late but didn’t say anything, simply letting her return to her seat.

As she passed Xi Zirong’s desk, her eyes met the boy’s anxious gaze, and Xu Su finally came to her senses. ’What on earth am I getting worked up over Zhou Mochen for?’

’I have a boyfriend. Even if Zhou Mochen broke down and sobbed his heart out in front of me, I shouldn’t feel the least bit of pity for him.’

’Besides, the man threatened me.’

The thought of being forced to unblock Zhou Mochen and having to reply to his messages from time to time instantly brought back her feelings of disgust for him.

The last class ended quickly, and the students swarmed out of the classroom.

Xi Zirong walked over, waiting for Xu Su to go to the cafeteria with him.

For dinner, they had lamb soup with a beef-filled pie. On a cold winter day, a bowl of hot lamb soup was wonderfully warming.

Xi Zirong was eating the same thing, but Xu Su had ordered two beef-filled pies for him. For a boy of seventeen or eighteen, that one serving might not have been enough.

Xu Su ate slowly, looking across at him. She asked with some concern, "If you only eat that much, won’t you be hungry later tonight?"

Xi Zirong shook his head. He had been quiet the whole way there, but now he finally spoke. "Where were you for the two classes this afternoon? I called you, but you didn’t pick up."

When Xu Su had taken out her phone earlier that afternoon, she had seen the missed call from Xi Zirong, but she couldn’t call him back in front of Zhou Mochen.

If that man found out she had a boyfriend, he would have likely caused such a scene at school that everyone would have known about their situation.

No one knew Zhou Mochen’s limits better than Xu Su.

He could accept all of Xu Su’s bad moods and petty temper. She could act up, throw tantrums, whatever she wanted. Zhou Mochen could even accept her disgust for him now. Hate was fine, as long as she didn’t like anyone else.

Therefore, there was only one thing Zhou Mochen could not tolerate. And that was Xu Su one day falling in love with someone else.