ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 296: A Very Quiet Morning ( )

The next morning.

Birds chirped faintly in the distance, and morning fog still hung low around the resting area.

Peace didn’t last long.

"NO!! I don’t want to ride with them!!!" shouted Lady Elmira, pointing dramatically toward her butler and the still-tired guards behind him.

"They couldn’t even protect me last night!"

The butler remained composed, though a faint sigh escaped him. "But Lady Elmira... please understand. The carriage you were using is wrecked beyond use."

"SO!?" she snapped, crossing her arms. "It’s not like our horses magically came back!!"

"Actually, Lady..." the butler continued patiently, "our guards managed to retrieve two of the original horses early this morning. Along with two additional ones for the extra carriages."

Elmira stomped her foot. "I don’t care!! I don’t want to ride with you! I don’t want to sit in that stupid carriage again!!"

The surrounding adventurers glanced over from their packed supplies, whispering among themselves.

The guards looked away awkwardly, pretending not to hear.

The butler’s expression didn’t waver.

"Please, my lady. We are already behind schedule. If we delay further—"

"No means no!!" Elmira yelled.

She turned sharply, eyes scanning the camp—then landed on Hazuki, who was standing near the fire, quietly finishing his meal.

She pointed.

"I want to ride with him!"

"Huh!? No can do, brat!" Hazuki said sharply, standing upright. "You’re headed to a different town. I’ve got my own destination."

"I don’t care!!!" Elmira shouted—and before anyone could stop her, she rushed forward and threw herself at him, arms wrapping tight around his waist like a magnet clinging to steel.

"I don’t wanna goooo!!!"

"Oi! Brat!! Get off!!" Hazuki struggled, stumbling back a step. "I’m not your escort!"

"Noooo!!!!" she wailed, clinging even tighter.

"Ugh!!! Don’t ask me for that—ask that old dwarf over there!!" Hazuki shouted in frustration, pointing toward Girem.

Girem, who was halfway through chewing on jerky, froze mid-bite.

His eye twitched.

He slowly turned toward Hazuki.

"Oy! Who ye callin’ old, lad!?"

Hazuki pointed again without hesitation. "You. Definitely you."

"I’ll show ye old when I toss ye off ma wagon!" Girem barked.

The adventurers, guards, and even the butler stood in stunned silence watching the bizarre scene unfold like a traveling circus.

Meanwhile, Elmira refused to let go.

Hazuki sighed, glaring at the sky like it had personally betrayed him.

"Why me..."

"Pleaseeee~" Elmira pleaded, her voice softening unnaturally as she looked up at Girem with wide, glinting eyes full of fake innocence.

Then she turned her head slowly, her stare locking directly onto Hazuki—unblinking.

Hazuki stood still, arms crossed, trying to look unaffected.

But her eyes didn’t waver.

He sighed deeply, shoulders dropping.

He turned to Girem.

The dwarf was already waiting, leaning against the wagon with a smug expression.

"Don’t ask me, lad. She your problem now." Girem grinned. "Beside, I’m just the wagon coacher, remember? If ye say send her first, I’ll follow orders."

Then he raised two fingers in front of his beard and rubbed them together slowly, flashing a knowing look.

"With a little... extra encouragement. Heh."

Hazuki glared at him. "So you’re saying I have to pay you to suffer this?"

Girem puffed on his herb cigar, eyes half-lidded. "Not payin’ for the sufferin’. That part’s free. The rest? That’s coachin’ fee."

Hazuki looked at Elmira, still hugging him like a koala.

Then back at Girem.

Then up at the sky again.

"...I hate this world."

"So pleaaaase~?" Elmira leaned closer, her voice sugary sweet, eyes gleaming like polished gems as she tilted her head just enough to look "cute."

Hazuki looked around.

The guards were already mounted and waiting at a distance, clearly glad to let someone else deal with the situation.

The two extra carriages were already filled with the D+ rank adventurer party, who made a point not to look in Hazuki’s direction.

Hazuki sighed, rubbing his temple with two fingers.

"Ugh... You’re going to make me late for my quest. Fine!" he finally said, glaring down at her. "But don’t come crying if that dwarf’s wagon isn’t clean."

"Yaaaay~!! Thank you, Mister Strong!!" Elmira cheered, hugging his waist again before skipping off toward the wagon, dress flapping.

Hazuki sighed again and dropped into a tired squat near the fire.

Ridan floated over, grinning from ear to ear, arms behind his ghostly back.

"Pffft... I can’t believe this. You’re a magnet for kids!"

Hazuki ignored him.

Ridan began listing.

"First Ellyn... then those two girls in Macia Town—uh, what were their names again? Elvia and Chasia, right?"

Hazuki twitched.

"And let’s not forget the Chusi flower quest—where you randomly took a side job just to get a Seraphis flower for a dwarf kid!"

"Wasn’t even part of the original quest, and you still went full guardian angel mode. Bwahaha!"

Hazuki muttered, "That was different. She asked nicely."

Ridan leaned closer, smug. "Yeah. Just like this brat. And now you’ve got another one! Good luck, Hazuki... or should I say—Lolizuki! Bwahahahaha!!"

Hazuki stood up slowly.

"Keep talking, and I’m stuffing you into a jar."

"Kid magnet! Lolizuki! Pedozuki! Bwahahaha!!" Ridan howled, spinning wildly in the air like a loose spirit balloon.

Hazuki snapped. "OI!! I’M NOT A PEDO!!"

"Mister Strong?" Elmira peeked her head out from the wagon, blinking innocently. "Who are you shouting at?"

Hazuki froze.

He slowly turned toward her with a stiff smile.

"Ah... nothing. Just... some annoying fly."

Ridan floated behind him, grinning wide. "Buzz buzz, Mister Strong."

Hazuki’s eye twitched. "I swear I’ll exorcise you."

"With what? Wet pants?"

"Shut. Up."

They rode inside Girem’s wagon.

Hazuki was already lying down inside, arms folded behind his head, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion.

Moments later, Elmira climbed in as well—her soft steps quiet, but her intent clear.

She shuffled closer... then quietly pressed herself against his side, arms wrapping tightly around him like he was a giant pillow.

Hazuki didn’t even open his eyes.

"Oi... It’s already morning. And I’m sure no monsters are dumb enough to come close with that old man’s beast pulling the wagon."

"But..." she mumbled softly.

"No but. I didn’t sleep last night. So I’m going to close my eyes and rest while the wagon moves. That’s final."

He rolled slightly to turn his back toward her.

"Just sit quietly. No hugging. No talking. Just—sleep or stare at the wall."

Elmira didn’t answer.

But she didn’t let go either.

Hazuki groaned under his breath.

"...I swear, I’m cursed."

Outside, Girem’s laughter echoed faintly from the driver’s seat.

"Babysittin’ already, are ye, lad!? Want me to swing by a school next!? Hahaha!"

Hazuki muttered, "If you drive into a river, I won’t stop you."

Hazuki closed his eyes, the gentle sway of the wagon rocking softly beneath him.

For a moment, there was peace.

"Mister Strong."

"...What?" he replied, eyes still shut.

"How did you become strong?"

"I don’t know."

"You single?"

"No."

"Married?"

"Not yet."

"Got a girlfriend?"

Hazuki hesitated for a second.

"...Kinda."

"Is she pretty?"

A faint smile tugged at the edge of his mouth.

"Yeah."

"Where is she?"

"Far from here."

There was a pause.

Then Elmira asked, "Why are you going on a quest without bringing her?"

Hazuki cracked an eye open.

"Why do you keep asking so much?"

"So she’s pretty... and you left her alone?"

Hazuki groaned lightly and turned his face toward the wall of the wagon, silent.

He didn’t answer.

"You didn’t worry she might be cheating on you?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Is she the same age as you?"

"...No."

"She’s young?"

"...You can say that."

"How young?"

Hazuki buried half his face into his arm. "Ugh. Stop asking questions. I’m trying to sleep."

"She cute?"

"Yes."

"She hot?"

"Yes."

There was a pause.

"Am I beautiful?"

Hazuki’s voice came out flat. "Yes."

Then he paused, blinked, and added with a grunt:

"Ah—no. I don’t know. You’re still a brat."

Elmira puffed her cheeks. "Hmph! Rude."

Hazuki didn’t reply. He was already half-asleep.

"Mister Strong."

Hazuki groaned, lifting his arm to cover his eyes. "What now...?"

"How do I look?"

"Bratty."

"Mou~ Am I cute?"

"No."

She frowned. "That’s cruel. Am I pretty?"

Hazuki shifted slightly and muttered, "Yeah... pretty annoying."

Elmira pouted, cheeks puffed again—but she didn’t stop.

"Then... how about you and me get married?"

Hazuki didn’t respond right away.

He lowered his arm slowly and without a word, turned his hand toward her.

On his left pinky finger, a faint glow shimmered softly—the pale pink aura of the Pinky Promise Ring, pulsing gently with quiet light.

Elmira’s eyes widened slightly.

"Ah..."

Hazuki turned back toward the wall and exhaled, his voice low.

"Now you know. If you excuse me, brat... I’m sleeping."

She stayed quiet after that.

And the wagon rolled on in silence.

After a few minutes of silence, Elmira spoke again, voice quieter this time.

"So... you’re saying you’re bound by a pinky promise?"

Hazuki, eyes still closed, replied flatly, "Yes."

"So... you can’t cheat on her?"

"How could I?" he muttered, not even opening his eyes.

"And she can’t cheat on you either?"

"That’s right."

Elmira paused.

Then said bluntly:

"Wow... how unlucky for her."

Hazuki’s eyebrow twitched.

He exhaled slowly, but didn’t say a word.

Ridan, floating just outside the wagon cover, was trying not to burst laughing again.

( End Of Chapter )

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