ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 288: Lucky or Foolish ( )

While walking toward the road, Hazuki’s bare feet pressed against the cooling dirt path. The poison swamp was now far behind them, but the faint stench still lingered in the air.

Ridan floated beside him with his arms crossed behind his back, glancing down.

"Man... if anyone sees you like this, they’re gonna call you Pervertzuki," he muttered.

Hazuki didn’t even flinch. "You do remember everything I had melted, right? Except this sword." He gave the weapon a small lift.

"Yeah, yeah. But at least try finding a big leaf to cover it or something."

Hazuki sighed and looked around. "There’s nothing here. And you know that. The last time I found a big leaf, it tore apart when it touched my—well, you know."

Ridan smirked. "Ah, yes. The mighty Leaf Slayer."

"Shut it."

In Hazuki’s hand were the two chusi flowers, Nardok mushroom, and a fresh seraphis flower he had picked before leaving the stream.

Ridan glanced at them. "You know... it’s kind of funny."

"What is?"

"You walk out of a swamp that could melt steel, carrying three of the rarest ingredients in this region... totally naked. And somehow, you make it look like a normal day."

Hazuki grinned slightly. "Maybe I’m just used to weird luck."

"Or cursed," Ridan muttered, floating ahead.

After arriving at the main road, Hazuki stretched his arms and let out a long yawn.

"Yo, boy!" Girem’s voice called out from his wagon. The old dwarf squinted at him, then burst out laughing. "Looks like you really made it out alive! What’s with the dick swaying like a battle flag? Showing off now?"

Hazuki rolled his eyes. "Everything melted except my sword. Not my fault."

Girem chuckled and tossed something over. "Here. Wear this, lad."

Hazuki caught the loose dwarven-style pants and quickly slipped them on. "Thanks."

He then reached into his hand, still carefully holding the foul-smelling mushroom. "Here, the thing you asked for."

Girem’s eyes widened. "Oh-ho! You really found it? Nardok! Thank ya, lad!"

Hazuki tilted his head. "What’re you going to use it for?"

Girem snorted. "Heh! For brewing, of course. Strongest drink in the dwarven lands."

Hazuki blinked. "Wait—this thing grows in a poison swamp. It’s not toxic?"

"No, lad! That stink comes from the rot it feeds on. But inside? That’s where the magic is. Brewed right, this stuff makes you immune to most toxins for a day. And gives one hell of a kick." He laughed.

"...Huh," Hazuki muttered. "Guess I learned something today."

Girem patted the beast that pulled his wagon. "You done with your business, lad?"

Hazuki looked at the chusi flower and seraphis flower still in his hand. "Yeah. Got what I need. Time to head back."

"So, old man!?" Hazuki asked, stretching a little as the wagon creaked back onto the dirt road.

"Yah?" Girem replied without looking back.

"You were just waiting out here? Weren’t you worried about monsters?"

"Which one?" Girem said calmly, biting down on a thick cigar. With a snap of his fingers, a small spark of fire magic lit the end. He took a slow drag, then exhaled a puff of smoke with a satisfied grin.

"Lad, I ain’t lived near two centuries by bein’ scared of things that go ’rawr’ in the trees. ’Sides..." He tapped the reins. "This beast here? He senses danger long before I do. We got an understandin’. He keeps me alive, I keep him fed."

Hazuki leaned against the wagon’s wooden side, arms crossed. "Still, you’re one old man with no backup."

"Heh." Girem grinned with his cigar between his teeth. "When ye’ve been driving wagons longer than most kings have sat on their thrones, you learn where to park and when to pull out. Nothin’ brave about it, lad. Just experience."

Hazuki gave a lazy shrug. "Still sounds crazy to me."

"Then don’t get old, boy. You’ll end up just like me."

"Old man," Hazuki said while leaning back on the wagon’s side, one arm over the edge. "You’ve been smoking herb cigars, right?"

"Yah! Why?" Girem asked, puffing his own cigar and flicking off the ash.

"Give me one. It’s been so long since I smoked one. Kinda miss the taste."

"Heh. Finally you talk some sense. Here!" Girem reached into his small pouch and tossed one to Hazuki without looking.

Hazuki caught it and grinned. "Thanks."

He bit the end of the cigar, adjusted it in his mouth, and drew his sword.

"Oi lad!!" Girem blinked. "Don’t tell me you gonna—"

Hazuki smirked, then quietly channeled his mana into the blade.

The greenish short sword pulsed, a sharp, thin line of fire shot out briefly from the edge.

With practiced ease, Hazuki lit the cigar’s end.

A puff of herb-scented smoke filled the air.

"That big elemental fire you’ve been controllin’... and you use it to light a cigar!?" Girem barked out a laugh.

Hazuki exhaled the first puff with a long sigh. "Hey. Fire is fire. Just because it’s magic doesn’t mean I can’t use it for normal stuff."

"Damn, boy... you’re one strange human."

Hazuki took another drag and let the smoke trail out of his mouth slowly.

"Strange or not, this hits good after that poison bath."

"Poison bath?" Girem narrowed his eyes, clearly not expecting that kind of answer.

Hazuki looked off to the side, puffed out a long drag, then muttered, "Ah... I slipped into one... well... err... two pools."

The wagon hit a small bump, but Girem didn’t flinch.

"...Hah!!?" he finally barked. "Are ya sure ya ain’t a ghost!?"

Ridan, who was lazily floating near Hazuki’s shoulder, covered his face. "I still don’t know how this idiot is alive."

Hazuki scratched his cheek. "I mean, I got out, right? So it’s fine."

"Fine!?" Girem wheezed, then laughed. "Lad, those pools melt bones!"

"I think I’m still alive," Hazuki replied, patting his chest and then his stomach. "No holes. No burns. Still got my hair."

"Seriously lad!" Girem turned in his seat, staring at Hazuki like he’d grown a second head. "Even steppin’ into that swamp requires high-grade enhancement gear! Poison-resistant, acid-resistant, gear reinforced with magic, and you walk out with just yer sword?"

"Yep." Hazuki glanced at the sword resting by his side. "Only thing that didn’t melt."

Girem let out a long whistle. "By the gods... either you’re the luckiest bastard I’ve ever met, or the dumbest. Maybe both."

Hazuki grinned and took another slow drag of the cigar. "I get that a lot."

( End Of Chapter )

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