I PICKED UP A CHILD IN A DUMPSTER-Chapter 78: interrogation.

"Luckily... they couldn’t take you. I mean... they tried everything."

***

Insert a goofy background song— noise.

(Earlier)

Si Hon had been seated dramatically in a wooden chair in the middle of the chamber, a bright crystal-lamp aimed directly at his face like he was in a crime drama interrogation.

Which, technically, he was.

"Human! Take everything! Take everything to human too!" one of the black-furred Munches barked.

They absolutely meant it.

Two of them grabbed his arms and lifted him clean off the ground like he weighed nothing. Another one aggressively yanked off his boots. Someone else started pulling at his jacket.

"ಠ_ಠ... This is getting weird."

The King stood a short distance away, pretending to look regal, but very clearly avoiding eye contact like he Or SHE! ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ didn’t know where to look.

Then—

One particularly enthusiastic Munches grabbed Si Hon’s waistband and pulled his pants down in one swift motion.

Si Hon blinked at the ceiling.

"...I would like to file a complaint."

They dropped him back into the chair. Another Munch lifted his shirt, revealing his toned torso under the harsh light.

Si Hon looked down at himself.

(Now that I think about it... didn’t the System say stats can change appearance?)

Right on cue, the familiar blue window materialized in front of him.

「(⌐■-■) Yes, Si Hon. You are correct.」

A beat.

Then the expression shifted.

「(@_@) W-w-wait WHAT are they doing to you?! Why are you so calm?! Are you INTO THIS?!」

Si Hon stared at the floating window.

"Wait— no..."

The surrounding Munches froze mid-motion.

They slowly looked at each other.

"...We thought we dumb," one muttered.

"...But human dumb too," another added.

Si Hon frowned. "Wait. You can’t see this floating window?"

Silence.

Then—

Explosive laughter erupted.

"KWHAHAHAHAHA HUMAN TALKING TO AIR!!!"

"HUMAN HEAD BROKEN!!!"

One of them laughed so hard it collapsed onto the stone floor, clutching its belly.

"STOP! HUMAN KILL ME WITH STUPIDITY— HWAHAHAHAHA! KWAAAAAAAAAAAAGAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!"

Another.

"KWWAAAWKKKWAHAHAAAAAAAAA H-H-HUMAN STOOOOOOP— Cough! Cough!!!"

It fainted...

Si Hon just sat there, blinking.

"...Wow. I feel judged."

After finishing their very thorough confiscation process, they left him in nothing but his boxers. That’s when one of the Munches grabbed his wrist and froze.

The faint ring shimmered.

Han-Gyeol Mimi

The Munch narrowed its eyes and tried to pry it off.

It didn’t budge.

Then—

One of the Munches stepped forward, slowly and dramatically, crushing a still-laughing companion underfoot as it approached Si Hon.

It grabbed his wrist with surprising gentleness, lifting his hand up to eye level.

"Human... human... we take ring."

Si Hon, still sitting in nothing but his boxers, gave a lazy yawn. "Sure."

The Munch leaned in.

And bit it.

"ಠ_ಠ..."

It grind its teeth against the faintly hardened goo ring, jaw working aggressively as if trying to chew through metal.

A horrible screeching sound echoed through the chamber.

But nothing happened.

The ring didn’t move.

It didn’t crack.

It didn’t even acknowledge the attempt.

The Munch pulled back slowly, blinking.

Another Munch stepped forward confidently. "Move. You weak jaw."

It grabbed Si Hon’s hand and started twisting the ring violently.

They pulled.

They yanked.

They twisted his finger at angles that made him wince.

But nothing.

The ring remained perfectly still.

The Munches stared at it.

Then at each other.

"Human... human!!!" one shrieked. "SORCERY!!!"

Si Hon lifted an eyebrow. "I mean... yeah? Sure?"

The group began murmuring in panic. One of them suddenly sprinted off into the darkness.

Si Hon watched it disappear.

"Why do I feel like that’s not good?"

A few moments later, the same Munches returned Holding a saw...

A very large, very jagged saw....

Si Hon’s nonchalant expression shattered instantly.

"W-wait— WAIT— WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

The Munch proudly lifted the saw. "Cut ring. Take finger."

"THAT WILL KILL ME!!!"

The Munch tilted its head. "Human have many finger."

"That is NOT how biology works—"

It raised the saw.

Then—

"WAIT!"

A high-pitched voice echoed across the chamber.

All movement froze.

The King slowly stepped forward, trying to look composed despite very clearly panicking.

The Munches turned toward them.

The King cleared its throat awkwardly.

"I-I mean... Human might die... you know?"

A long pause.

The Munch holding the saw blinked. "But... cut finger?"

"Yes but... human important! Strong human! Valuable human!" the King insisted, waving its arms dramatically. "Dead human... not useful! You know?"

The Munches looked at each other.

Then suddenly—

They cheered.

"KWAHAHAHA KING SMART!!!"

"KING THINK GOOD!!!"

"SAVE FINGER!!!"

The saw was lowered.

Si Hon slowly exhaled, sweat sliding down his temple.

"...I almost lost a finger to dungeon OSHA violations."

The King glanced at him cautiously. "Human strange. Ring strange. Everything is strange!"

Si Hon pulled his hand back protectively. "Yeah well. Bound item. Get good."

One Munches leaned toward another and whispered loudly, "Human definitely head broken."

Another nodded. "But funny."

Si Hon sighed and leaned back again like nothing had happened.

"Can I at least get a blanket?"

The Munches stared at him.

"...No."

Han-Gyeol’s window slowly popped up again.

「(⌐■-■) Primitive beings detected. Ignoring.」

Si Hon grinned smugly.

"That actually scared me... you know..."

The King recoiled slightly and waved its hand dismissively.

"So... leave human. Human is strange and... uh... Head broken. Ring scary too!"

They cheered once again.

And that’s how Si Hon ended up in the prison cell with nothing... but a boxer.

***

(Back to the Prison.)

Si Hon leaned against the wall again, staring at the ceiling.

"Honestly," he muttered, "this could’ve gone worse."

The blue window flickered in front of him.

「(@_@) YOU WERE STRIPPED IN FRONT OF AN ENTIRE SPECIES.」

"Yeah but like... non-lethal stripping."

「THAT IS NOT A CATEGORY.」

He shrugged. "Prolly my character development."

A pause.

Then he glanced toward the cell bars.

"...I should probably plan an escape, huh?"

Another pause.

"Nah. I’ll wait for Seorin."

He sat back down.

Completely unbothered.

Somewhere in the distance, a Munches could still be heard laughing.

Si Hon stared at the ceiling.

"...Damn. I must’ve been a comedian in their eyes."

A blue window popped up beside him— and Han-Gyeol Mimi materializing as usual.

「ಠ_ಠ Why do you look so proud...?」

「(づ￣ ³￣)づ 아빠... you are proud. Wonder why?」

Si Hon crossed his arms.

"I don’t know, lol."