I Am Tired Of Being A Hero-Chapter 51: His heart

Arlen did not know when he moved, his hand lightly cupped the back of Ravi’s head, letting him lean against his shoulder. He barely used any strength as if afraid that Ravi would break if one held him too tightly. He circled his arms around Ravi quietly as he brought him to an embrace.

He did not say anything. He just wanted to hug him when he heard those words.

Ravi’s entire body stiffened in Arlen’s hold. The body holding was just too warm, so warm that he wanted to submerge in it completely, he wanted to just let go and fall, letting this man shield him from all the storms for a while.

Even a lone ship had the moments where it needed to rest at the labor, didn’t it? But what if it that ship had been alone for a long time, what if the ship had forgotten how to dock, then what happens then?

He did not know how to lean on this person, and it was not what scared him the most, what scared him was Arlen would notice how unnatural he was being, how tense his body was and then, then he would not hug him like this again.

His head was resting on Arlen’s shoulder and he brought up his hand to look at his palm. There was nothing there but he could see it, he could see the scars and the blood. He might have a delicate face but to many people, he was a man of steel, Infallible, perfect. He had never been held like this, held so carefully, so warmly as if they felt like he could shatter, as if he was just an ordinary person who could feel pain and fear.

Ravi felt as if there was a bone stuck in his throat, very painful and sour.

When one’s mind is in a state of chaos, articulating one’s needs and thoughts becomes very difficult. Instead, various emotions, uncontrolled, would run rampant in one’s mind.

He wanted to have this person.

The moment the thought entered his mind, Ravi felt as if his heart was about to leap out of his chest. His heart pounded violently as if there were drums in the room. Thump, Thump.

All he could hear were the sounds of his own heart, it was as if his vision was slowly becoming blinded by patches of white.

What the fuck did he think just now.

He pulled away and rubbed his forehead. He must be sick indeed, his whole mind had been strange for the entirety of the day.

"Captain." He did not know what to say, he felt as if he had been fished out of the water, his mind still booting.

"Arlen. It is not office’s hours. Right now, I am just Arlen."

"Captain." Ravi said seriously, he was not planning to call him by his name. Not now, not when he was not sure he would handle that name properly. He had said it to himself several times, but not in front of the owner of the name. Who knew that a name would have such weight, would be so heavy?

"You do not like my name?" His voice was low and deep, full of emotion.

"Captain, don’t tease me." Ravi was helpless and changed the topic, hoping that this subtle atmosphere would change, "The pasta is getting cold, do you want to have dinner with me and Asher."

"Really?"

Ravi’s lips twitched, he could almost see a tail waving with how excited those blue eyes were.

"I cooked enough." He planned to leave the leftovers for the cat, for Asher to eat during lunch tomorrow but he could cook before going to work. He had to get up a bit earlier though.

"I am so excited. I can’t remember when last I had some home-cooked meal." Arlen hovered over, following Ravi to the kitchen, "Are those grapes?"

"yes."

"May I?"

"Go ahead."

Arlen tried one and his eyes widened, "So delicious. It is so juicy and sweet."

"You don’t think it is too sweet." Ravi said as he opened the cupboard to take out some plates, he dished the food and hesitated, he looked at the kitchen. He suddenly wished he had telepathy so he could ask Asher if he was okay eating in the dining room with them. The kitten must not be so comfortable with Arlen just yet.

"I would carry it." Even though he said to carry it, Arlen lifted his hand and the entire dishes gently lifted into the air, following him as he set it down on the table.

"This one is for the cat?" He did not act as if there was something wrong with serving a cat a full-course meal and just served it next to Ravi. The cat jumped on the table, and used its paws to push its plates to the far end of the table.

"It does not want to be near me that bad. My chest hurts." Arlen dramatically held his chest and lowered his head as if he was on the verge of tears.

Ravi chuckled, and held his fork about to eat, he touched the plate, the food was piping hot, as it had just been put down from the fire, he looked at Arlen with a smile.

Controlling temperature was really handy.

"Are you nervous?" Arlen asked.

Ravi raised one eyebrow in confusion, "Nervous about what?’

"I am about to try your food. I am quite nervous."

What was he going on about now, "Eat Captain." He said.

Arlen smiled and picked up the fork.

Thump! Thump! Ravi’s heart started beating again, he had not been concerned but now that Arlen had mentioned it, his left hand drummed on his knee.

Aside from Asher, this was the first time someone would eat his food and he could see his reaction.

Arlen tried the spaghetti, and an explosion of flavors immediately assaulted his taste buds. The spaghetti had that al dente bite to it, the rich creamy tomato sauce had seeped into every corner of the dish carrying a sweet and tangy flavor.

Arlen closed his eyes for a second.

"It is so good." He then focused completely on the meal, his eyes glowing as he ate.

Ravi looked down at his plate and a small smile appeared on his lips, it felt good. Watching Arlen eat so happily felt good, maybe this is the reason people become chefs. There is no greater validation than watching someone eat what you made, so enraptured that they could not bother carrying on a discussion at the dining table.

After the pasta, Arlen continued to the vegetable salad.

"You don’t have to eat that."

Arlen stared at him confused.

"You said in the restaurant that you did not like vegetables. I did not know you were coming, I would have prepared another side dish."

Arlen blinked, there was something in his gaze when he looked at Ravi, almost as if he was bewildered.

"You remembered."

Ravi nodded, as long as it had to do with this righteous Captain of his, he remembered everything.

Arlen rubbed his head, "Officer West, you..." he smiled, "I like vegetables when there is mayonnaise. Besides, the vegetable I hate the most, green beans, is not here. The spaghetti was so delicious, if I miss this one, I am going to have nightmares."

Something changed. Ravi could not tell what. Arlen’s voice, there was something different about it. Almost as if it was softer, but it was not it either.

He ate his spaghetti quietly, while occasionally moving his eyes to the man who had already started on desserts.

He really had a sweet tooth, he ate the desert the way he ate the milk pudding back at the restaurant, taking small bites as if he was wishing that it would never finish. His fingers twitched, he wanted to paint this picture. This particular picture.

"I finished first." He bragged as he dropped the spoon on the empty plate. As he said this, he looked at the cat and wriggled his brows.

"Childish." Ravi called out and the Captain laughed.

When he and Asher finished, Arlen stood up to take the plates.

"Let us not argue, You cooked, I would clean."

"You are a guest, Captain. How can you do the dishes?" Ravi stated, still holding on to his plate.

"If you refuse, I will cry."

"..."

"I would give you extra work in the office. Field work."

Ravi’s hands left the plate so fast it was like a blur. Arlen chuckled as he went to the kitchen. Ravi came over to watch him, he seemed so familiar with washing plates. He probably did not cook much and someone as friendly as him, probably had invitations for dinner at various places.

"If you stare at me any longer, a hole would burn through my clothes."

Ravi’s lips twitched, "Sorry."

"I won’t break the plates, if that is what you are worried about."

"I am not."

The captain continued to wash the plates and even made his way to the pot. Ravi watched him, there was a lot he wanted to say, wanted to ask but he did not know how to begin.

He pursed his lips as he placed his left hand on his cheeks, watching the broad shoulders flex as its owner bent over, washing each dish by hand.

"Thank you for dinner, Ravi."

Ravi’s heart tightened too quickly in that instance, it was as if someone had gripped it too tightly.