Help! I Became A Guy In A BL Novel!-Chapter 95: Guilt and Realisations

Ronan gazed at Riven, noticing the way his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. His little wolf had fallen asleep, his face peaceful and free from the tension that had gripped him earlier.

The remnants of their closeness still lingered, but seeing Riven finally resting, Ronan couldn’t help but smile. A soft, genuine smile that no one else had ever seen before.

Carefully, he lifted his hand and brushed a few stray strands of black hair away from Riven’s forehead. His fingertips moved with the utmost tenderness, afraid that even the slightest pressure might disturb his sleep.

Riven’s cheeks were still flushed, the faint pink hue spreading to the tips of his ears. Ronan’s heart swelled with affection and guilt. He was gentle... At least much as he could be. He pushed away all the voices in his head that stirred up desires... Desires that would leave Riven in an even worse state.

Leaning back slightly, Ronan allowed his eyes to travel over Riven’s relaxed form. The marks he’d left on Riven’s neck were starting to darken, a testament to their bond and the passion they’d shared.

A small pang of guilt shot through him—he hadn’t planned to be so rough. It was his first time going through a rut, and he didn’t anticipate how overwhelming it would feel. He wanted to be careful, to treasure Riven and not hurt him, but primal instincts had made it nearly impossible to maintain his composure.

Now, seeing the scene in front of him... Did he even manage to have self-control? He did, but it was not enough. He sighed a little. Still, he felt extremely refreshed. So was it not his duty to take care of his mate?

He remembered how his mate had clung to him, pulling him closer when Ronan tried to restrain himself. It was a miracle Riven didn’t hate him even more after this.

With a deep breath, Ronan carefully adjusted his position, making sure not to wake his mate. The room felt colder now that the heated tension had faded, and he glanced around for something to cover Riven with. His own shirt was draped on the floor nearby, so he reached over and picked it up. The fabric was slightly wrinkled, but it would do.

He hesitated for a moment, taking in Riven’s bare chest. The soft lines of his muscles and the gentle curve of his shoulders made Ronan’s pulse quicken again. He swallowed hard, fighting against the urge to simply lean down and kiss every inch of his mate’s skin. It would be too selfish. Riven needed rest, not more of his reckless passion.

With careful hands, Ronan slipped the shirt over Riven’s head, guiding his arms through the sleeves. Riven stirred slightly, his eyebrows knitting together, but he didn’t wake. Ronan couldn’t help but chuckle softly. Even half asleep, his mate was still a little grumpy.

Once the shirt was properly on, Ronan buttoned it up, his fingers lingering on each button as if memorising the motion. The way Riven looked in his clothes made his heart flutter.

There was something possessive and primal about seeing his mate wrapped in his scent, but there was also a warmth that melted away the lingering ache of loneliness he’d carried for so long.

As he sat back on the edge of the bed, Ronan’s mind wandered to everything that had happened. This rut—his first one—had blindsided him completely. He had thought he was strong enough to resist it, but the moment he caught Riven’s scent, his resolve crumbled.

The need to claim, to mark, to protect—it was all-consuming. He didn’t know if he could be that gentle next time, especially when the urge to dominate had almost overpowered him.

His fingers traced along the bed’s edge as he mulled over his thoughts. How could he ever make Riven understand just how much he regretted leaving him?

The burden of being an alpha—the expectations, the pressure to remain strong and unwavering... It had blinded him to what truly mattered. He’d spent so long trying to be perfect that he forgot how it was to have desires, to be selfish, to want something, to crave something.

He didn’t want to admit it before, but he was terrified of being like his father—a ruthless leader who put power above all else, who used people and threw them away, who made decisions that were not befitting of a leader, to put it lightly.

Riven shifted in his sleep, murmuring something incoherent. Ronan turned back to him, his expression softening as he brushed his thumb over Riven’s cheek. It was such a simple gesture, but it grounded him, reminding him of what was important.

He had spent too long running from his feelings, convincing himself that love was a weakness. In the end, it only led to heartache—for both of them

Guilt gnawed at him as he thought of the mark on Riven’s neck, left behind by Soren. His wolf bristled at the thought, jealousy and possessiveness flaring up despite his effort to suppress it. Yet he couldn’t blame Riven.

He was the one who left his mate vulnerable. He had no right to feel betrayed, especially when he had been the one to break things off first.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Soren had been by Riven’s side when he wasn’t. Soren had protected him, comforted him—and that hurt. Ronan clenched his jaw and forced himself to let go of the bitterness. Now wasn’t the time to be selfish.

For now, he would let Riven sleep peacefully. They could talk more when he woke up—about their past, about the mistakes they’d made, and about how they would move forward. Ronan knew that rebuilding trust would take time, but he was willing to do whatever it took.

Settling beside Riven, he wrapped an arm around him, pulling his mate into his chest. Riven instinctively curled into the warmth, his hands clutching at Ronan’s shirt even in his sleep. It made Ronan smile, and he couldn’t help but press another kiss to the top of Riven’s head.

But disturbing his peace was a rude, loud knock on the door. freewёbnoνel.com