Hagakure Sakura Does Not Lament-Chapter 4

Something Called Hagakure

Translated by LyraDhani

Edited by LyraDhani

-If I just stand still here, I will die in the battle.

He put his hands on the battered walls and walked toward a place where he could escape from any damage. The hazy visibility made it difficult to see obstacles here and there.

The intense pain running through his body was gradually turning into a dull ache. Perhaps his senses were becoming numb.

Tsugumi inevitably kept walking. When the sounds of battle became more or less distant, he rolled into an alleyway to avoid detection by the enemy.

He couldn’t stop shaking.

Then he laughed, as if making fun of himself.

…He couldn’t take one more step. But he could get away from the center of the battle better than before. He could only crouch here and wait for the fight to end. It wasn’t a good battle, but he still had no choice but to continue to endure.

–But no matter how hard he tried to push himself, the calm part of his mind knew that his body would not be able to hold out much longer.

His eyes were slowly turning red. For some reason, his heart was burning.

He let out a blood-curdling cough and closed his eyes. Behind his eyelids, a red light was fluttering. He felt like he was going to fall asleep if he wasn’t careful.

…It’s so frustrating, isn’t it?

In a voice almost like an exhale, he muttered.

He didn’t want to die. But he didn’t know what to do anymore. The only place where guts could do anything was in comic books. If wounds could be healed only by one’s will, there would be no such thing as doctors in this world.

He opened his eyes. The blood dripping on his limbs looked like red strings. If there was a grim reaper with a sense of humor in the room, he might say something like, “Your fate of death is entangled with you.”

He could have said that in his mind, but he had lost the energy to actually say it out loud. Even moving a finger was too much of a chore.

–If he wanted to change his fate, he would have to ask for a miracle. Yes, a miracle from God.

Thinking about it, he smiled dryly.

–Miracles don’t happen very often.

Even if he was a talented and wonderful person, Tsugumi was mediocre. God couldn’t bother to help such an insignificant existence.

Reaching out to such a dying human was probably the devil or something that tried to exploit his weaknesses.

…But he’d be glad if he met a devil. It didn’t matter what kind of guy he’d become if he could live here now. Tsugumi certainly thought so.　

So this encounter-It can’t be called a miracle.

However, it must have been fate.

“Hey, kid. Do you want to be saved?”

Suddenly, such words came into his ears. A black shadow fell before his eyes.

Tsugumi looked up and saw a black cat. The black cat looked at him with its golden eyes and repeated the words again.

“Do you want to survive? Or do you want to die like this? –I’ll help you out, depending on your answer,” said the black cat with a laugh.

There was an irresistible charm in its words. A strange sensation, as if a mixture of holiness that made you want to cling to it at any moment and disgust that made you want to turn your face away. And yet, there’s something about it that was somehow alluring.

–This must be what they called “the deal with the devil”.

…He knew clearly that this black cat wasn’t a decent thing.

The barrier created by God Amaterasu was by no means all-powerful. Tsugumi’s current situation was a good example. Barriers sometimes even missed bad things.

–But what does it matter?

Even if the being in front of him was a demon, what did it matter? If he only had to suffer because of an unreasonable contract, so be it. That seemed much better than dying here without anyone knowing.

With hands stained with blackened blood, he grabbed the black cat’s paw. He couldn’t even speak properly anymore. –So, Tsugumi nodded in affirmation.

The black cat saw this and laughed. The way the corners of its mouth turned up in a grin was not a movement that a cat’s skeleton would be capable of.

The black cat gently put its face close to the Tsugumi’s ear and said amusedly.

“I see・・・・.”

–And then the black cat stuck its fangs into his throat.

◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

“Tsugumi! Do you catch a cold?”

“Whoa!”

The loud voice suddenly heard in his ear made Tsugumi involuntarily let out a shriek. His heart was pulsing abnormally due to waking up suddenly.

He looked around with surprise.

He thought he was lying in the rubble, but now he saw something very familiar – or rather, he was on the doorstep of his house.

…No, not only the rubble but the shredded body scratches were also gone. He tried touching his legs, but he couldn’t find any abnormalities.

–I was so scared, I thought I was dreaming.

Staring anxiously at his behavior, Chidori opened her mouth.

“I had to take a break from club activities and come home early because I got a call from Tenri-kun. I thought my heart was going to stop… Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”

Saying this, Chidori peeked into Tsugumi’s face with concern. In her eyes, he could see a hint of anxiety.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was feeling kind of spaced out… Did I catch a cold after all?”

Chidori gently brushed back his bangs and laid her forehead against his. The warmth of human skin was gradually transmitted from her forehead.

But with Chidori’s pretty face at such close range, he felt very uncomfortable. He felt like he was doing something forbidden.

Chidori, who had no way of knowing the complexity of Tsugumi’s feelings, let go of his forehead and exhaled in relief.

“I’m glad to hear you don’t have a fever. But just to be safe, I think you should take a day off. I’ll make you some porridge later.”

“Sorry for making you worry…”

Seeing Chidori’s smiling face, he suddenly felt the strength leave his body.

Oh, thank goodness. She can smile again today – really, I’m glad.

“I’m sorry, Chidori. I’m feeling sleepy, so don’t worry about dinner. I’ll make something proper tomorrow.”

“Yeah? Let me know if you need anything. Really, Tsugumi is so reckless.”

Tsugumi laughed and said not to worry, and went back to his room.

He slammed the door shut and sat down against the wall. His head ached terribly.

He managed to wake up from his foggy thoughts. –but no matter how you think about it, it’s too crazy ・・・・・・.

Seeing the school uniform without any scratches or fraying, Tsugumi frowned.

He couldn’t say it well, but the injury was certainly real. He thought he would die. However, when he turned over his clothes and looked at his body, he couldn’t find any scratches or pain.

If it was a dream, then there was a contradiction. Inexplicably, he had no recollection of ever returning home from the station on his own. How long had this been a dream, and how real was it? Perhaps this very moment was a dream at the moment of death.

I don’t know, even after thinking about… Tomorrow, I’ll go to the hospital for a checkup. I wonder what that cat was all about.

He muttered to himself. It was too intense of an event to be dismissed as a dream.

With something that didn’t quite add up, Tsugumi got up and plopped down on the bed with a start. If it was a dream, it was probably better to let it end as a dream. He was alive and well. That fact was all that mattered.

That’s why he should say this. –I am glad it was all just a dream.

When he closed his eyes, he heard someone’s voice overhead.

“It’s not a dream, you idiot!”

He reflexively raised his upper body.

“What is that?”

“Why are you looking at me like a fool? Your Lord is showing himself to you like this. You should prostrate in front of me.”

A black cat with four thin wings like a dragonfly on its back said as it floated in front of Tsugumi in a fluffy manner.

Tsugumi stared at the strange creature with his mouth wide open, as he had no idea what was going on.

“Are you…?”

“I told you, I’m your Lord!”

The black cat yelped angrily and slapped Tsugumi vigorously with its puffy, pawed paws.

“Guh?!”

Despite its fancy appearance, the attack was powerful.

Tsugumi fell off the bed from the force of the smack. His cheek was throbbing with a dull pain.

“Hmm, idiot. Did you finally feel like bowing?”

-No, you just smacked me and dropped me. Tsugumi thought that in his heart, but he didn’t say it out loud. It was a wise decision.

“Who the hell are you?”

He was confused by the current situation but managed to get it out of his mouth.

“What is it? You really don’t remember anything? You are so incompetent. –Or are you pretending to have forgotten?”

The black cat’s merciless words silenced him. He couldn’t think of the right words to reply.

The first thing that came to mind was the dim memory of his own near-death experience. The pain of being split open. –And those words that echoed through him like a savior.

“Do you want to be saved?”

To these words, Tsugumi certainly nodded. Then this black cat–.

With eyes filled with conviction, Tsugumi looked at the black cat.

“You saved me, didn’t you?”

“Ha, you finally remembered.”

The black cat laughed sarcastically as it sat on the bed with a thud.

“I am God. I am the King. I am your Master. –Rejoice, my servant. You have been chosen as a toy to pass the time for me. You must dance as much as you can without breaking.”

“Toy? Dancing? What the hell do you want me to do?”

The black cat’s taunting words sent an inexpressible chill running up his spine. He knew this premonition all too well. Yes, just like when he was caught up in Yukitaka’s evil scheme.

“You saved my life, but I don’t want to commit a crime or anything like that. I don’t want to do something that would cause trouble for others… No, I know I’m talking about convenience. If… that doesn’t sit well with you, you can return my wounds.”

The black cat had saved his life, but he couldn’t allow it to be prolonged harm. It’s not that he wanted to die willingly, but he would rather die that way than cause trouble for Chidori. It would still be a mysterious death, but it would be a better choice than being killed because of a Magical Girl.

But the reaction of the black cat was different from what Tsugumi imagined.

“Don’t be a fool, boy. Do you think I’m going to use a man of your stature to do my evil deeds?　If I do that, my former subordinates would laugh at me!”

–If you’re going to do this, you would show that my corps are not great! God was angry in a direction that Tsugumi didn’t understand.

“Well, I mean, you wouldn’t do something horrible to my family or force them to commit a criminal act?”

“Hmph, that’s not the case. I have no interest in your people.”

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?”

There was only so much an ordinary human being could do. To be frank, he didn’t think he could do anything that would satisfy this God.

When Tsugumi asked this, God smiled, its beautiful golden eyes narrowing. And then it told him something extraordinary.

“In this playground country, they call toys Magical Girls, don’t they? –You will be my Magical Girl. Besides, it would be foolish not to participate in such a fun event. I’m going to enjoy myself to the fullest.”

“Wait a minute. A Magical Girl is… I’m a man, remember? I have neither the aptitude nor the right to do so. This is absurd!”

“Shut up. You don’t have the veto power. When I tell you to do something, you do it. I don’t want you to do anything else.”

The black cat said in a voice that was imbued with intimidation. Under the weight of this pressure, Tsugumi involuntarily fell silent.

“But it’s not my intention to be noticed by the Sun God. I’m going to ask you to stay within the rules of this place and keep a low profile. Well, I’ll treat you as if you were a common toy.”

“But like I said before, I’m a man. I don’t know the details, but there is no precedent for a man becoming a Magical Girl, and I’m not the right vessel to accept God’s power, am I? Besides, I think it would definitely stand out if a man became a Magical Girl.”

“Don’t worry about it. You have the power to change your appearance when you transform, and I can do as much as I want with the vessel. –I’ve noticed since signing the contract that you have a higher penetration rate of divine power than most women. Have you been training among the priestesses?”

“I don’t think so…”

It’s impossible, he supposed, but he couldn’t be sure because he had no memory of his childhood. His past family register was burned during a catastrophe ten years ago and some of the data crashed, so there was no way for him to know his roots anymore.

“Well, tomorrow, you will transform and fight a Demonic Beast. Then, even if you don’t like it, you’ll see that there’s no problem.”

Although he was tempted to voice his disapproval, he was not granted the right of veto. Tsugumi swallowed what he wanted to say and nodded quietly. But even so, he still had questions.

“I’m really grateful for your help, and if there’s anything I can do for you, I’ll do anything. –But why did you go to the trouble of choosing a guy? From the looks of it, you’re probably one of God’s higher beings, aren’t you? You could have better girls.”

Here in Japan, the main deity was Amaterasu – in other words, a Goddess, so basically, those who could be used on the divine side were women. That’s why there was a strong public perception that ‘Gods prefer women’. There was no need to go to the trouble of choosing a man like Tsugumi.

However, the black cat’s face contorted at the question as if he said something outrageous.

“Unlike the other Gods (Garbage Waste), I don’t like women.”

“I wonder if it’s okay to be like that.”

Tsugumi replied, puzzled by the sudden outburst.

“I’ve seen a few select government officials, but they’re not much to talk about. They sneak up on me to get their own benefit. They hide their filthy nature behind their smiles. –They resemble religious people who are in league with the powerful, and it’s repulsive,” it spat out.

He wondered if it has some kind of major trauma to… religious people.

“I know not all of them are like that… There must have been plenty of girls all over Japan who want to be Magical Girls. Even if they’re not the selected ones, I’m sure some of them are pure at heart.”

By that logic, Chidori, for example, would have plenty of scores to pass the test. No, he would firmly prevent Chidori from becoming a Magical Girl.

When Tsugumi said that, the black cat looked as if it was chewing on a bitter bug. He was a little surprised to see that even with the appearance of a cat, it could make such a dexterous expression.

“Unfortunately, you can only sign up with a Magical Girl after you have reached the age of twelve…”

“…God might be a little girl.”

When he tried to continue the words, the tail of a black cat swung down and smashed his face. It hurt soberly.

“Don’t say such a disgusting thing, you fool…! I just have a low tolerance!”

“…I see.”

–I wonder if that’s something to be proud of? He was tempted to ask but managed to stifle it in his mind. The silence was golden.

“That’s why I compromised with someone like you. You can thank me with tears in your eyes.”

“…Yes, thank you.”

Did this mean that this God wanted to make a contract with a Magical Girl, but girls over the age of twelve were out of her strike zone, so she compromised with a dying Tsugumi whose weakness she could take advantage of?

…Either way, he couldn’t escape God. Because the contract had already been made. The heart, not logic, was clearly aware of this. The black cat was his master.

The black cat smiled and said to the silent Tsugumi.

“I’m looking forward to the future. Isn’t that right, my miserable contractor?”

“But first, let me tell you something.”

“…I was thinking earlier that you are rude in your manner of speaking. Well, I am generous. It’s a long-term relationship, and I’m willing to forgive a few trifles with a big heart. So, what do you want?”

“What should I call you?

God’s eyes widened, and she tilted her little head.

“What? Haven’t I told you yet? Yes–you can call me ‘Bell’ if you like.”

“Bell…”

–Was there ever a God or devil with such a name? At least Tsugumi had no recollection of it.

“Put a “sama” on it, you fool. You lack the courtesy of a servant.”

“Well, I have a proper name, Tsugumi…”

“What about it?

The casual reply depressed him a little.

“–Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you. When I registered you as a Magical Girl, I was allowed to use a false name. I’m not a government-collared stray, so I can be flexible about such things. This way, as long as no one sees you when you transform, no one will know you are a Magical Girl.”

“What kind of name is it?”

What should he do if it was an embarrassing glittering name? It was a tense moment.

“–Hagakure Sakura. Isn’t it a good name, even for me?”

Bell smiled smugly as she told him this, and Tsugumi nodded his head in agreement.

“Bushido is found in death. It’s true that I died once, so it’s probably just right for me.”

Although often misunderstood by the public, a passage in a book called “Hagakure Kikigaki,” an instruction manual for samurai spirit, said, “Bushido means to die,” not to be determined to achieve a goal.

What it really meant was that the best results were achieved by making decisions based on the mindset that one was already dead. He had not expected that she, who was probably a foreign God, had such a deep knowledge of Japan.

As she was admired by Tsugumi, Bell tilted her head, as if she had no idea what was going on.

“I just thought it was cool.”

“…”

“Hey, say something.”

“…No! That’s the coolest name ever! Your sense of style is off the charts!”

He raised his voice in a deceptive way and pretended it didn’t happen. He was ashamed of himself for making a lecture with a smug look on his face.

“Oh, yes, of course! More praises!”

As he praised God, he was relieved to hear that her heart was in the right place. It seemed that this God was not as bad as he had thought.

“Bell-sama.”

“What, servant.”

“I look forward to working with you from now on.”

“Mm-hmm. Good luck.”

As usual, she was a pompous figure. But strangely, Tsugumi did not feel bad about it.

–This is the beginning of everything, the encounter between Tsugumi and Bell.

This is the story of one boy who was saved by God ・・・・.

And this is the story of a Magical Girl, Hagakure Sakura, who’s eaten by the devil.