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Hagakure Sakura Does Not Lament-Chapter 115
Gentle Thorns
Translated by LyraDhani
Edited by LyraDhani
Invited to Yumeji’s house, Tsugumi was brought to a terrace overlooking an English-style garden.
He was already aware of it from the presence of a full-time driver and servants, but as expected, Yumeji’s house was very splendid, as one would expect from an old family. Tsugumi, who had similar senses to ordinary citizens, felt a bit nervous and uncomfortable.
“Hey, Oniisan, please follow Kanae’s example and relax. This tea smells really nice, you know?”
When the servants finished preparing the tea and left, Yumeji, holding a beautiful flower-patterned teacup in her hand, said this to Tsugumi with a laugh. …Apparently, she found Tsugumi, who behaved like a borrowed cat, amusing.
Following Yumeji’s lead, he turned and saw Itadori happily chewing on a cookie. Comforted by Itadori’s smiling face, Tsugumi smiled peacefully.
“Well, since it’s a good opportunity, I’ll have one too.”
“Yes, please feel free to have some.”
They talked for a while about each other’s recent situation and so on, but in the middle of that conversation, Itadori looked at him nervously. Perhaps she was finally ready to get down to business.
Itadori put her hands on her chest, let out a small breath, and began to speak.
“Actually, there was something I really wanted to ask you.”
“What do you want to ask?”
When Tsugumi tilted his head, Itadori nodded slightly and opened her mouth as if she had made up her mind.
“–Oniisan, do you know the news that the aptitude age for becoming a Magical Girl candidate has dropped?”
“Yeah. It was twelve years old, but now it’s lowered to eight years old, right? What about it?”
–The government had just recently announced that the testing age for prospective Magical Girls was lowered. The main purpose was to train young people to be able to deal with Irregulars, but it could be considered as a kind of ‘protection’.
To become a Magical Girl, a high level of aptitude and qualities were required. Qualities couldn’t be determined until they actually met God, but aptitude alone could be easily measured at government-approved hospitals.
Girls who demonstrated high aptitude were encouraged by the hospital to take the candidate examination, and many of them voluntarily chose to take the test.
However, there were many who failed the exam immediately, who had no interest in Magical Girls at all, who were worried about whether or not to become a Magical Girl, and who were too young to take the exam.
Until now, this had not caused any particular problems, but recently things had changed. Yes–the increase in kidnappings.
And it further highlighted the lack of protection for those who weren’t or couldn’t become candidates, as mentioned earlier–In other words, those who had fallen through the cracks of the government’s protection.
…If he was allowed to make an excuse, this wasn’t the government’s fault.
No matter how highly qualified a candidate was, if she didn’t belong to the government, she was no different from an ordinary person. In other words, even if the government valued people with high aptitude, as long as they were ordinary people, they couldn’t be given special treatment.
However, the government took this fact seriously and immediately did what they could.
They lowered the age of aptitude for candidates significantly, promised support for several years even if they failed the exam, and asked those who had no intention of becoming Magical Girls or who were still unsure to join a class called the “preparatory course” in name only and temporarily belonged to the government.
They might have to live in somewhat cramped conditions for the sake of safety, but it would still be better than being kidnapped. …It was certainly a somewhat aggressive move, but it shouldn’t be wrong as a countermeasure.
As for lowering the age of aptitude, only the testing age had been lowered, and like before, only those who had reached the age of 12 would be allowed to work as Magical Girls. There would never be a situation where a child whose age was single-digit had to fight.
“I was asked by a teacher at school if I would be interested in taking the candidate exam. I thought I’d give it a shot since it’s an opportunity. …What do you think, Tsugumi-oniisan?”
Itadori looked up at Tsugumi anxiously. In addition to anxiety, there was also a hint of hope in her eyes. Seeing her like that, Tsugumi guessed what she was looking for.
–She probably wanted a push. She was probably hoping Tsugumi would say something like, “You can do it”, or “I’m rooting for you”.
If it had been someone he wasn’t close to, Tsugumi would have laughed and cheered her on without a sense of responsibility.
But Itadori was different. She was like a cute little sister to Tsugumi. This was why he couldn’t answer lightly.
During this silence, Yumeji silently gazed at Tsugumi, her expression more eloquent than her words. –Please stop her, her thoughts were vividly floating in his mind.
–The person who was most afraid of Itadori becoming a Magical Girl in this place was undoubtedly Yumeji.
She had seen the moment at the Amusement Park when Itadori was about to give her life to save hers. In other words, she knew more than anyone how dangerous Itadori was.
Therefore, it would be hard for her to accept the idea of her friend becoming a highly dangerous Magical Girl.
…Although he thought about it in his mind, such worries were groundless, and there was even a possibility that Itadori would fail the examination. Even if she passed the exam, it didn’t necessarily mean she would be chosen by God. Because being a Magical Girl wasn’t something that could be achieved only by working hard.
…But Itadori would surely be chosen by God. She would be chosen. –Tsugumi had such a conviction.
Tsugumi’s bad premonition was almost always right. Once she became a candidate, her path to becoming a Magical Girl was almost assured. –Then there was only one thing he had to say.
“…My sister is working as a Magical Girl for the government right now. Fortunately, it’s not a department that specializes in fighting, so she’s not in any danger, but I’m still worried about her as a brother.”
“Oniisan? What are you saying all of sudden?”
When he suddenly started talking about something else, Itadori tilted her head with an anxious look. Not caring about that, he continued speaking.
“If my sister were defeated and killed by a Demonic Beast, I would probably cry and lash out the government. I know it’s just a random act, but I’d still scream until my voice broke, and I’d probably hate a lot of people. If I’m not careful, my heart might break. —It’s such a painful thing to have someone important to you die.”
Saying that, Tsugumi stood up, approached Itadori, wrapped both his hands around her cheeks, and firmly looked at her in the eyes.
“I am not against it. I’ve told you before, it’s a choice you have to make for yourself. But, Kanae-chan, if you really want to become a Magical Girl, you have to be prepared for one thing.”
As he said this with a serious look, a loud thud echoed around the room.
“Wait a minute. Are you telling Kanae to make up her mind to die!? –I will never forgive you for that!!”
Yumeji’s face changed and she stood up to yell at Tsugumi. Her face was stained with despair, as if to ask why he would do such a thing.
“No. Throw away your resolve to die in the gutter. –What I want you to do is to be prepared to never give up no matter what.”
Tsugumi thought that the desire to save lives was very precious. However, Itadori didn’t seem to include her own life. –Yes, just like Tsugumi, who once tried to challenge Radon with the determination to defeat it.
“Prepared to never give up?”
“Yes. When you become a Magical Girl, there will be times when you will experience pain and suffering, times when you will want to give up on everything. Even so, you must never give up on life. Even if you’re pathetic, even if you look uncool, even if you have to drag your limbs you must survive. –You don’t want to make the people you love cry, do you?”
Tsugumi said softly and gently turned Itadori’s face toward Yumeji. Itadori’s eyes widened in surprise. She clearly looked upset.
–He wondered how her friend, who looked like she was about to cry, looked in Itadori’s eyes. He sincerely hoped that this emotion could be a wedge for Itadori. No matter how hopeless the situation might be, if she had that, she would surely be able to stay on her feet. At least, Tsugumi thought so.
After that, even though Itadori looked troubled, she said in a clear tone, “Even so, I still want to be a Magical Girl.”
Yumeji looked somewhat shocked at this answer, but when she realized that Itadori was determined, she gave a disappointed smile and said, “I’ll support you”. Tsugumi probably wasn’t mistaken that Yumeji’s face looked calmer than it had at first.
After that, they talked for a while, and the tea party ended before dark. On the way back, Yumeji thanked Tsugumi, saying, “Thank you very much” in a place away from Itadori’s sight. It was clear that she was referring to the advice he had given to Itadori, but Tsugumi laughed to himself and shook his head, saying, “I didn’t do anything”.
…After all, what Tsugumi said was nothing more than a gut feeling. No matter how much he prayed for her safety, it was ultimately up to Itadori whether or not she would survive.
Embracing feelings that couldn’t be expressed in words, he headed home and lay down on the sofa in the empty living room. If Chidori were here, he would be scolded for his bad behavior, but she wouldn’t come back until night because of government work.
As Tsugumi let out a loud sigh and stretched out his hands, he saw something round and slimy come out from under the couch.
“What’s the matter? You look pretty roughed up.”
The round thing that came out – Chidori’s contract God – put a small white hand on the edge of the sofa, brought his face close to Tsugumi, and asked curiously.
“…Niisan. Is it okay if you don’t follow Chidori? You got scolded by various people, right?”
“A little bit is fine. Besides, it’s not uncommon in the government, right?”
Shiro responded in a strong tone of annoyance, but he didn’t take it personally.
…Bell had told him that Shiro had been warned by the Gods on the government that he had been completely unreachable during that kidnapping, but he didn’t seem to reflect on anything. Tsugumi scratched his head, looking at Shiro with a troubled look.
“If you’re having a bad day. you can talk to this brother. It will help.”
“It’s not a big deal. I am just pissed off at myself for talking to a younger girl about something great when I couldn’t even protect myself as far as I was concerned. …Really, I hate it because it’s so pathetic.”
He didn’t mean to say anything wrong to Itadori. But he hated himself for saying that.
–Tsugumi, too, had wanted to give up many times when he was almost killed by a Demonic Beast. Those who cling to a glimmer of hope and struggle to survive in the face of hardship and pain, and those who end up crushed at a moderate point. He know which one was easier.
Tsugumi forced Itadori to go through the torture of surviving at all costs, an ordeal in which it would have been better to be dead. He couldn’t help but hate himself.
“Besides, you don’t want a brother who’s full of lies. If it were me, I would have cut ties with him by now.”
–Nanase Tsugumi’s life was full of lies. The name, the past, and even his family were all lies. For such a person to talk about reason with an air of pride, the premise was wrong in the first place.
When Tsugumi told him, Shiro scratched his head and said in a quiet voice.
“Is it wrong to lie?”
“Normally it’s no good. At least, I think so.”
When Tsugumi replied quizzically, Shiro gave a small shake of his head and said.
“I don’t think so. If telling the truth hurts someone, it’s also reasonable to lie and care about them. –Also, sometimes the Gods don’t mind lying, you know? If that’s the case, there shouldn’t be any need for a human child to worry about such trivial things.”
–What Shirou was saying was a seemingly clean argument. It was a very God-like statement if it could be called that. But why? Those words sank right into Tsugumi’s heart, and he felt that he could breathe a little easier.
“…I see, God lies too.”
“Yes, I suppose so. There are many strong old Gods. The best way to get around them is to use immoral ways.”
Seeing Shiro’s playful response, Tsugumi felt strange and laughed out loud.
He threw words of concern to the depressed Tsugumi, admonished him with words of righteousness, and laughed with him – somehow, they were really like brothers. He felt like such a fool.
After a few moments of laughter, Tsugumi slowly got up from the sofa and stretched.
“I think you’re a pretty good big brother, Shiro-sama.”
After saying all that, he felt a little embarrassed.
For Tsugumi, it was just a sibling relationship that was forced upon him as an afterthought of Chidori. And although there were times when he felt like he was being manipulated, it was going better than anyone around them would like. It was somewhat strange when he thought about it.
“Now, I have to cook dinner soon. …Don’t come to my feet when I’m holding a knife like you did before. It’s really dangerous.”
“Yeah, I’ll do my best.”
After saying that much, Tsugumi headed upstairs to his room to change. The white rabbit, watching his back, muttered in a small voice.
“Yes, even God lies. …I wish it were something kinder to you.”
–In the empty living room, the white rabbit’s golden eyes shimmered. It was like the moon reflected on the surface of the lake.