Former General Is Undead Knight-Volume 3, Chapter 22: Flander of Human Furniture?

「Alante-cha~n, you’ve assumed that I won’t kill you, right? Then you’re correct! I don’t want to anger Tony Lair-san, after all. But are you forgetting the fact that I’m a white sorcerer? I don’t actually have to bring you back in a “human” form, you kno~w!」

Flander swung his arms, pointing his finger at Alante.

At that moment, one of the three grotesque, armless humans rushed toward Alante.

They were running at a speed that surpassed that of humans.

「Don’t go too hard on him, 『Desk』. 『Shelf』, you go and survey the situation.」

Flander used human furniture.

There were three grotesque-shaped beings around Flander—the rushing man called 『Desk』, the fat woman called 『Shelf』, and the one whose gender was unknown, 『Chair』.

They were living weapons who moved at Flander’s command.

「…I’m also prepared for this.」

Alante took out a muddy, green-colored flask from his robe.

The inside was filled with green-colored grains.

「O fabrication of life, sprout!」

Alante threw the flask at the desk.

The flask broke, scattering some sort of liquid.

Green-colored beads swelled up as they absorbed the liquid. These beads then shattered as small animals, the size of human fists, appeared from inside.

「GRRRRR!」「GUUUUUUU!」「GROOOOOOWL!」

It was a man-made frog.

It was a type of homunculus.

「You think that toy can do sh*t against my works of art?」

Flander’s human furniture, 『Desk』, rushed toward Alante.

「ICE, BE MY SHIELD!」

Alante shouted.

A huge silver shield appeared in front of Alante.

『Desk』 raised his feet as if trying to kick Alante’s shield.

「You think that lowly shield can protect you from my human furniture?」

「I never wanted to protect my body from that kick!」

「Hah?」

At that moment, the homunculi frogs jumped at 『Desk』.

They turned red and then exploded.

Dark red liquid scattered on the human 『Desk』.

「OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!」

Black smoke rose from the feet of the 『Desk』 after it was splashed by the liquid.

It was a poisonous frog called the basilisk frog.

Since basilisk frogs loved water with stagnated mana, they usually lived around the lakes with that environment.

They could create deadly poisons from the water that entered their poison sacs. These poisons mixed with the waste of other demon beasts or medicinal plants, raising its efficiency with their own mana.

Homunculus frogs were similar to basilisk frogs. They could create deadly poisons in their sacs, exploding after launching themselves at their enemy.

But since the homunculus frog ate a mixture of twenty to thirty different kinds of medicinal plants and drank water enhanced by eight high-grade magic stones, their poison was far more powerful than that of the basilisk frog.

Moreover, the homunculus frog specialized in creating poisons according to the specially designated recipe. They were at least six times more dangerous than natural basilisk frogs.

If a normal human touched that poison, the poison would enter their skin, destroying their insides—including their bones—and killing them.

But then, contrary to its deadly nature, its effect deteriorated as time passed after it was created.

Therefore, the homunculus frog had to be able to instantly create the poison to use in battle.

It was an impossible feat without deep knowledge, accuracy, and speed.

「Fortunately, the poison is working on them. Well, there’s nothing I can do if it’s not working though.」

「Hah! You think my 『Desk』 is so weak that he can’t walk after losing one foo—!」

『Desk』 collapsed right there. ƒ𝘳ee𝔀e𝚋n૦𝐯el.c𝗼𝓂

He started discharging drool from his bandaged mouth.

Flander paused for a moment upon seeing that spectacle.

The other homunculus frog also started to jump toward the defenseless 『Desk』.

「OOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!」

‘…That reaction… Did the poison destroy his respiratory system? But if that’s the case, Alante shouldn’t come out intact either… Did he develop a natural resistance? No, Alante would have simply touched the poison if he really did have resistance…’

Flander squinted his eyes.

Despite his seemingly crazy conduct, Flander wasn’t stupid.

If not for his psychopathic personality, he would have long since become the number one white sorcerer of the kingdom.

Since white sorcerers had to deal with a lot of illnesses or injuries, they had to deal with various problems and unknown situations, able to think on the spot. In addition, they also had to master special knowledge outside their area of expertise.

There was a dark red homunculus frog clinging to Alante’s ice shield.

It wasn’t just a shield. There were a lot of dark red crystal fragments scattered around him.

‘…I see, the poison will lose its toxicity after being at boiling temperature.’

The poison had an extremely high boiling point. Thus, hiding behind the ice shield would freeze the poison and turn it into crystals, preventing inhalation.

When Alante swung his cane, the ice shield popped up, creating countless ice shards that danced in the air.

The deadly poison scattered in the air, froze, and fell as ice shards.

「ICE, BE MY SWORD!」

Ice swords manifested in the air.

Alante returned his cane to his belt, unsheathing his sword.

…and beheaded 『Desk』’s head.

‘Such toughness! But it’s not like it can’t be killed… Let’s keep cutting it!’

「Yer poison ain’t enough.」

Showing a crooked smile, Flander taunted.

『Desk』, who had already lost a third of his head, suddenly rampaged, easily flicking off Alante.

「BIG BROTHER!」

Elise screamed upon seeing that.

And then, 『Desk』’s upper body started to tremble uncontrollably.

「WHAT THE?! THE VAPOR OF THAT FRESHLY MADE POISON ALONE SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO KNOCK OUT AN OGRE…! WHY… WHY IS IT STILL FINE EVEN AFTER LOSING ALMOST HALF OF ITS HEAD?!」

「My bad, that’s part of my white sorcery. Before I created them, I tore their bellies and inserted magic stones into their stomachs to constantly invoke regeneration sorcery. Though forcing them to keep using cell division will shorten their lifespan, it’s not a problem for me. Your failure was just using vapor, you know? The tissues that were destroyed by vaporized poison were remade at an extremely high speed.」

Flander laughed inside his jute bag.

「In the end, it’s a matter of personality. You’re talented—I’ll give you that—but far from genius. All your trump card did was stop 『Desk』 for a while. Moreover, you ended up damaging my 『Desk』. I won’t kill you since that’s the order given to me, but… I’ve been wondering what kind of furniture you’ll become? I’m a kind person, you know, so I’ll let you decide.」

『Desk』 raised his feet and kicked Alante.

「GAHA! COUGH COUGH COUGH…」

Alante rounded up his body as if trying to protect his abdomen.

It was an instinctive reaction to protect the weak part of one’s body when attacked, but 『Desk』 relentlessly trampled on Alante’s abdomen.

「GAAAAAAAAAAAAA!」

Alante’s scream resounded in the area.

「Ahahaha! Is that all you got? Wake up quickly! You won’t die, Alante-cha~n! But Elise-chan wi~ll!」

『Desk』’s relentless kicking kept assaulting Alante.

After the eighth kick, Flander placed his hand on his jaw.

「Well, what should I do the~… Uh?」

Alante was standing up—albeit with much difficulty.

「I promised… to… free… Elise-chan from this place…」

「That’s not something you say to an enemy who is far more powerful than you, right? You can’t damage my tough furniture no matter what you do. You finally understand that point, right? You must say your apologies since you won’t be able to fulfill your promise, Alante-cha~n! This poor man can’t handle such a sad scene, you kno~w.」

At that moment, a gust of wind passed by.

Alante shut his eyes.

Then, 『Desk』 was blown in the air, spouting blood from his mouth.

Suddenly, a swordsman donned in full-plate armor made his entrance, slashing at the abdomen of 『Desk』, who was still in the air.

『Desk』 was split in half, right down the stomach, before he even hit the ground.

His upper body twitched, his head lolling to the side as if to glare at the incoming swordsman.

The swordsman’s greatsword mercilessly crushed the other’s head, ending his pitiful life.

「…Haah?」

Flander could only look at that scene with a dumbfounded look on his face.

Well, that was natural.

After all, his extremely tough human furniture was actually insta-killed.

Even Alante had no idea what was happening. He could only see the spectacle before him with a dumbfounded look on his face.

「I heard it was quite tough, but I guess it was just a bluff.」