Flip the Coin [BL]-Chapter 218. Cover

Henry’s POV

I always had my eyes on Kenny, always observing him even when I didn’t intend to—unconsciously. The cold grip of my stifling fear tightened more with each second I continued to look at him.

He seemed as if nothing mattered to him anymore, as if he were an onlooker who would disappear the moment the curtain fell.

I knew that what he had gone through couldn’t be easily forgotten, yet it hadn’t had to be this way. I couldn’t stop the anger at him and myself for having been left behind.

It should have been both of us. If he had just taken me with him, then I wouldn’t have to look at him from the standpoint of an outsider.

We could be traumatized together instead.

Doesn’t he understand that I don’t care what happens to me as long as I can stay by his side?

Kenny, I didn’t attempt to help you breathe in the changing room; I only tried to help myself because the moment you disappeared from my sight, I was suffocated slowly until I had no life left in me.

I looked sideways at him, seeing him staring straight ahead. I followed his gaze and saw nothing strange, yet whatever he stared at suddenly felt dangerous—as if it could take him away from me.

"Kenny," I whispered, earning a glare from the doctor who was leading the group therapy, but who the hell cares?

His enchanting red eyes turned to me, and I relaxed slightly again.

"Are you alright?" I mouthed.

He smiled lightly and nodded shortly, looking at his intertwined fingers instead of whatever he had seen ahead.

He was tired; he should sleep. When would this damn lesson end? Didn’t they know that he was still a patient?

No, they naturally didn’t know, but on our first day, they could cut us some slack.

Additionally, he was reacting unusually to the topic that these people talked about.

The main theme of this group was cannibalism; it was not the darkness that had left the most impact on them, but rather the fights, the rape, and mostly humans eating humans, especially when they hadn’t been dead yet.

We have seen for ourselves the remains of human flesh inside the hellhole, and the picture was gruesome, unnatural, and traumatic, sure—but if I could only survive by eating human flesh, I would surely do so, as would probably nine out of ten people.

So I would have waved their worries and fears off if I hadn’t noticed the change in Kenny.

I watched his hands tremble and his eyes close in an attempt to push something away each time the topic of eating came up.

Kenny, I told you, if the giant is too big, we’ll slice him up—together.

I already had a suspicion, but I just didn’t want to believe it.

Don’t fucking tell me, don’t for fuck’s sake tell me that you really let yourself get swallowed to kill it from the inside.

Please.

No.

But his reactions told me that I was on the right path.

I looked at my right hand that emitted smoke, so furious that I wanted to destroy something.

As if I was going through a hellish puberty again after I hadn’t truly lived through my real one, because I preferred to fuck, drink, and do drugs.

Now this obsession with my master, only natural as his dog, had turned into something like an infatuation; the arousal from our kiss knocked against the beliefs of my sexual orientation while I balanced between fear, constant self-doubt, and fury.

I would laugh if it weren’t so damn unfunny.

"I want you all to close your eyes now," the doctor said, and everyone followed her instructions, with me as the only exception.

I still had to watch Kenny.

The doctor furrowed her brows at me, but I was unfazed by her.

"Every time the fear threatens to overwhelm you, I want you to imagine the following," she started, then paused.

"You are in a golden cornfield; the sun is shining down on you. There is no one else, and there is nothing dark and ugly around you."

I saw that Kenny opened his eyes, as if rejecting this little experiment. Instead, he stared straight ahead again.

"Now, let all the fear and worries leave your body. They morph into another self."

I smiled sarcastically, and when I looked at Kenny, I saw him do the same.

"Face this other self."

I glanced at the other people in this room, asking myself where this would go.

"Raise your hand and notice that you are holding a gun."

Kenny turned to me, and I looked at him.

"Watch this other, this scared, traumatized, and fearful self. And then..."

I saw Kenny closing his eyes, as if the doctor’s words were causing him physical pain, as if he wanted to cover his ears to be freed from it.

I jumped from my chair in absolute silence, coming to his side and placing my hands over his ears, as the psychologist, eyeing me unfriendly, finished her words.

"Kill it."

I had my hands tightly against Kenny’s ears, hoping that he would hear nothing but the sea.

I did so when everyone opened their eyes and looked at us strangely, and I continued to do so when this motherfucking lunatic ended her lesson with more of her crazy words.

"Remember, the gun you are using to get rid of all the fear and sorrow is given to you by the center; the gun will be the skills you will learn here. The center will provide you with the weapon to hone yourself and make you better, stronger, and braver."

She made a dismissive gesture, and I pulled Kenny up to get out of here. I dragged him to the door, along the corridors, to our room.

There, the two male nurses stood and opened the door for us.

I entered and waited until I heard the door lock again; I dragged him to the bathroom and turned on the water.

I took off my smartwatch, and he did the same and gave it to me before I threw them on his bed, closed, and locked the bathroom door.

I pulled him under the hot water with me and hugged him, speaking in his ear,

"Should we run away from this place?"