District 42-Chapter 153: Casper’s past part 3

"Why not?" Casper asked, even though he had an idea as to why Napoleon had denied his request.

"You can’t do this alone, Casper. You know that you can’t. And even if you find a way to pull through this harsh situation without anyone to help you, then the chances of losing you, and failing the mission, will be too high, anyway."

The colonel felt his heart throbbing once again, a chill went down his spine, making him shiver. He was thinking of different ways to just punch that marshal. The fury was on fire inside his mind, his blood seemed to be boiling. He was with a strong headache as if his head was about to explode.

"I know that it is frustrating for you, colonel. As I said, I understand your reasons, but I can’t afford to put everything at stake because of some unities from our troops."

"And that’s the huge difference between me and you, sir marshal." He raised his lowered head, looking at him with hatred. "You see them as ’unities’, I see them as my comrades. I passed for a lot of things beside them, different from you. You know every characteristic of our troops, but you don’t have empathy with any o them."

The marshal walked beside Casper, patting him on the shoulder. Because of his serious eyes, and rigid expression, the soldier had the feeling that those pats were more threatening than consoling.

"You have guts to talk to me like this. But I will forgive you. Anyway, that was my final decision for your request, Casper. I don’t have intentions to fail here. This mission is very important. I know you have your ideals, but it doesn’t matter here. When you become someone as important as me, try to put something so big at huge risk, and you will see that kill forty-five soldiers is way easier.

"I know that you just took responsibility for all of this because you wanted to save all your friends. And now that your plans are shattered, you will just ruin your reputation, but I didn’t ask you to be the hero of these people. No one asked. That’s the consequence you got from thinking that you can save everyone."

The last quote seemed to be a punch on his face. Casper’s eyes were widened and glazed; his heart seemed to stop at once. He wanted to do a final salute, ask to exit the room, and then get out of there, but he couldn’t. He lost his voice, he wasn’t able to move, and his mind got aloof, the statements of Napoleon rounding his thoughts and making him incapable to take a logical decision.

The man said a final quote while opening the door to let Casper exit.

"Now, go to work, reunite all the soldiers, and be sure to complete this mission. Also, I know that this is your first time taking the lead in a mission like this, and with the certainty of losing your friends, but... Don’t worry. After some time, it’s not so difficult to sleep at night. You get used to it."

He pushed Casper slightly out of the room, and then closed the door slowly in front of him, don’t giving him enough time to say something (not that he would say even if he got the chance).

After some while looking intently at the brown door of the marshal’s office, Casper made his way to another part of the Headquarters. This time, he couldn’t maintain his head high. He needed to cross all that place with his eyes lowered, bumping into someone passing near to him sometimes.

The sounds around were uncertain. It was as if he was using defective earphones. His mind wasn’t registering anything around him, nor sounds, nor images, nothing. It was just blurry. He walked inside his own office and let himself rest for some while until he needed to go to the meeting he would do with the troops.

...

Casper was leaving his office after some rest. Actually, he needed good hours until he was able to recover and return for his duty. He noticed that he could assign some papers and do some stuff related to his work, but he didn’t remember when he could find time to do it, or how he did it.

He delayed some minutes before he could find the courage to hold the doorknob and open the door. And, still, ten or fifteen seconds to do the first step outside the room.

Once he got out of the office and closed the door, he felt on his back the murderous and disgusted looks of the people passing in the corridor. The whispers started, their expressions changed, the atmosphere got him, and he couldn’t be fully conscious of his actions until he had walked a good way through there.

He woke up again just when someone’s voice sounded in his ears.

"Hey, colonel!" A woman’s voice startled him. She was walking beside him and snapping her fingers right next to his ear.

Casper was confused as to what was happening there and looked around. He noticed that he was no longer inside the Main building of the Headquarters. He was outside, heading to the other building, in an isolated place with some trees and grass. He lasted some seconds to realize what he had done.

"Ah... I am sorry, general... Were you saying something? I was a bit off..." That woman beside him was a Brigadier general.

She had short and silky blond hair, which was so light to the point of seeming white like snow. Its tone wasn’t as light as Casper’s, but it could be compared to topaz. Although she was a very strong and competent soldier, she had a kind look on her face, always with a mischievous smile. It was not someone you would like to mess up with, though. A lot of people had fallen to his cool and nice look and ended up passing for hellish times.

Ana was her name. She was a friend of Casper since he entered the army. She had been there for two or three years more than him, but they almost climbed the military ranks together throughout time.

Inside the military, Casper knew a lot of people, and got along well with them, most of them he addressed as friends or comrades, but the only person that truly had space in his heart as an individual was Ana. Just she had his entire trust, and whatever she said to him, he would believe, no matter how absurd it could sound.

"I was talking to you for some while. I think you were not just off. There was definitely something wrong with you." She looked to the Main building, from where Casper just got off. "They were probably paying too much attention for you, right?" Her kind eyes shone with anger for a moment. It was a side of her that just Casper knew, and she never showed fully, not even on the battlefield.

"Yeah, but not the sort of attention that someone would like to receive. But don’t worry about this, it was my choice, I am just..." He bit his lips, frowning slightly. "I am just taking the consequences for my actions..."

"He didn’t agree with your ideas, right? We will really be going to do it."

Casper sighed, shaking his head.

"He outrightly denied my request, Ana."

She also sighed, getting closer to him and passing her arms around his shoulders, tiptoeing, and then hugging him. Casper rested his forehead on her shoulder, feeling dejected.

"We will do it just right, ok? Everything will go well..." 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝘦𝓌𝑒𝑏𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝘭.𝒸𝘰𝑚

"I couldn’t find a way to do it... No matter how many times I tried to improve the plan or redo it fully... There is just one path to be taken... but it costs too much. How things will go just right when we can’t..."

She silenced him, tightening his arms around him. Casper returned the hug, enlacing her waist.

"It will go well because everyone will do it. We are willing to give our lives for this. The mission will be completed, and you and more five people will come back. Got it?"

"No... no, no, no! You know that I can’t do this, Ana. I just..."

"Shh... I will ask for your opinion when I need it, understood, colonel?" She giggled, but it wasn’t the same giggle as usual for her, it wasn’t as joyful as always.

"I am willing to go until the final for this, ok? We will do our best for you, ok? We will do our best for everyone." She whispered in his ear, with a choked voice. Casper couldn’t see her face, but he was sure that she was tearing up.

"I will give my life for you, colonel. I will even let you take my soul. Because of this, survive, ok? Like you always do. Just survive, and save everyone again. You can be the villain for everyone else afterward, you can consider yourself a villain, but you will always be my hero."