Contract Marriage: I Will Never Love You-Chapter 67: Paint Swatch

Sarah

"What do you think it is?" Rebecca chirps. "A boy or a girl?"

I look at her and smile brightly. I haven’t given it much thought because I know no matter what gender, I will love this baby with my whole heart.

"I don’t know," I say. "I think... maybe a boy. But then sometimes I get this strong feeling it’s a girl."

"Well, I can’t wait until you find out. I want to start buying little onesies and socks! Oh! And hats! Don’t even get me started on the hats," Rebecca rambles on.

I laugh, the sound light and airy, filled with a joy I didn’t think I’d feel again. "Well, I was thinking of keeping it a surprise."

Rebecca gasps. "A surprise? Are you serious, Sarah?"

I nod, still smiling. "There’s something kind of beautiful about not knowing. About meeting them for the first time and just... knowing."

She raises her eyebrows. "But how will you know what color to paint your nursery?"

I blink. Oh god, the nursery. I need to start preparing a room for that, don’t I?

"I... honestly hadn’t even thought about that part yet," I admit with a sheepish grin. "There’s just been so much going on. I guess I’ve been focused more on getting through each day."

Rebecca lets out a dramatic sigh, placing a hand over her heart. "Sarah, we need to get you a Pinterest board immediately. That baby deserves an adorable room, and you deserve to feel excited about it."

I chuckle. "I am excited, I promise."

"Okay, well. We will go shopping this weekend. Even if you don’t know the gender, we can still make the nursery cute. Neutral colors are totally in."

"Beige walls and tiny woodland creatures?" I tease.

"Exactly!" she grins. "Little foxes and bears and bunnies! Oh, and a mobile that plays lullabies and makes you cry more than the baby."

"You’re ridiculous," I laugh, but my chest swells with warmth at the thought. I finally had my best friend back. I should be very happy. If only Matthew was this happy too.

Rebecca must have sensed the shift in my mood because her smile softens, and she leans a little closer, lowering her voice.

"Hey... are you okay?"

I nod slowly, then shake my head. "I don’t know. Some days, I feel like I’m floating. Like I can breathe again. And others... it’s like there’s this ache just beneath the surface."

"Matthew?" she asks gently.

I glance down at my stomach, resting my hand protectively over the small bump. "He’s... distant. Kind, sometimes. Cold, another time. He is still hurting."

"I understand. But you are making amends." Rebecca reaches out and squeezes my arm. "He will come around."

My heart stutters. I want to believe her. I really do.

"I just don’t know if he can forgive me fully," I murmur. "Or if I’ll ever forgive myself."

Rebecca frowns. "Sarah, you’ve apologized. And now... you’re carrying his child. That’s not just a second chance. It’s hope. He will see that, eventually."

I smile, grateful but tired. "I hope you’re right."

Rebecca gives me a reassuring pat on the leg. "I’m always right. Now—let’s talk baby names. Don’t even try to stop me. I already have a list."

I laugh again, and just like that, the heaviness eases.

"I kind of have a name in mind if it’s a girl," I say.

"Oh? Do tell," Rebecca chirps.

I hesitate for a moment. The name has lived quietly in the back of my mind ever since I found out I was pregnant. It feels soft, gentle—like a whisper from the heart.

"Rhea," I say finally, the word delicate on my tongue. "I don’t know why... it just stuck with me."

Rebecca’s eyes widen with delight. "Oh my god, Rhea is beautiful. So elegant and timeless. Ugh, I’m obsessed already!"

I smile shyly. "Yeah? You think so?"

"I know so," she grins. "Picture it—tiny little baby Rhea in a knitted onesie, wrapped up like a cinnamon bun. Stop. My ovaries can’t take it."

I let out a laugh, one hand covering my mouth, but my heart feels warmer now. Saying the name aloud made it feel real, more than real. Like this baby, this little person, already had a place in the world.

"What about if it’s a boy?" Rebecca nudges.

I shrug, suddenly bashful. "I haven’t thought of one yet."

She nods in understanding. "Maybe Matthew would like to pick the boy’s name."

I nod slowly, the idea settling gently in my heart.

"Yeah... maybe he would," I murmur.

But what if he rejects the baby completely? That fear has been lingering inside me since I found out I was pregnant.

"Oh, I know! Let’s go get some paint swatches for the nursery. What do you think?" Rebecca asks and looks at me hopefully. frёeωebɳovel.com

"Yeah, let’s do it," I say with a small smile, trying to push the worry aside for now. "We can get some ideas, even if I don’t have everything figured out yet."

Rebecca grins, her eyes lighting up. "Perfect! It’s going to be so much fun! Trust me, you’ll love the process. It’ll help you feel more connected to everything."

I nod, grateful for her enthusiasm. She has a way of making things feel lighter, even when everything else feels like it’s floating just out of reach. It makes me realize how much I missed her.

My phone starts to ring and I look down at it. My eyebrow immediately shoots up as I see Matthew’s name. He does not call me unless he needs something, so I wonder what it’s about.

I glance at Rebecca. She can see the sudden tension in my body as I stare at the screen.

"Answer it," Rebecca encourages softly, giving me a supportive nod. "It might be important."

I hesitate, my thumb hovering over the green answer button. What if he’s upset with me about something again? I don’t want my good mood to be ruined right now.

Taking a deep breath, I tap the screen and put the phone to my ear.

"Matthew?" I say, trying to keep my voice steady despite the knot forming in my throat.

"Sarah," he barks. "Where the fuck are you?"

"I told you...I am having dinner with Rebecca," I say.

"For over an hour? You should be home by now," he says gruffly.

I try to keep my tone as calm as I can manage. "Matthew, we were just talking. I haven’t been here that long."

There’s a pause on the other end of the line. "It’s long enough, so come home."

What.

"Matthew," I say slowly. "I am not coming home right now. I am still hanging out with Rebecca. Since when do you care whether I’m home or not?"

"Since..." he stops.

"What, Matthew?" I ask.

"Since it doesn’t fucking matter, Sarah. Come home because I am asking you to come home."

I let out an exasperated sigh.

"What is he saying?" Rebecca whispers.

I press the mute button on my phone with a sharp jab of my finger and turn to Rebecca with wide eyes.

"Matthew is being ridiculous," I groan, frustration building in my chest. "He’s demanding I come home right now. As if I’m breaking curfew or something."

Rebecca laughs. "Are you serious? You’ve barely been out two hours."

"I know." I look at my phone where Matthew’s name still glows on the screen. "This is new. He’s been distant for months, barely acknowledging when I come and go, and suddenly he’s tracking my schedule?"

"That’s..." Rebecca pauses, choosing her words carefully. "He misses you."

I shoot her a look. "Yeah, right. Well, I’m not going home yet. We were about to go look at paint swatches, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do."

Rebecca’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Are you sure? I don’t want to cause problems between you two."

"You’re not causing anything." I take a deep breath and press the unmute button.

"What the fuck was that? Did you just put me on mute?" Matthew growls on the other line.

For some reason, it makes me want to laugh. "Um...I have to go now, Matthew. I will see you when I get home." And with that, I hang up on him.