Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy-Chapter 194: My Tofu Pilgrimage (4)

I swallowed a mouthful of the tofu dish sent by Mother with a sense of penance, then took a bite of the health supplement I received during the vacation with a dash of repentance. Lastly, I took a sip of the red ginseng potion given by the Mage Duchess, promising myself that such incidents would never happen again.

That marked the end of my unusually luxurious breakfast.

I think I’m going crazy.

I could only stare blankly at the floor, feeling bitter. The warmth of Mother's nurturing love made it impossible to lift my head.

Innocent scoldings were painfully harsh. I might have retaliated if it were mocking or teasing, but how could I not accept a gift filled with Mother’s love?

After a while, I shifted my gaze to the handwritten letter, which was still in my hand.

The days are getting colder, so you should always dress warmly. Never skip your meals no matter how busy you are, and immediately seek a healer or a mage if you feel unwell.

The letter, purely filled with concern for me, made no mention of my imprisonment. The sight of the tear stains and smeared ink in the corner seriously made me consider biting my tongue.

I would have rushed to the mansion to beg for her forgiveness if I were her real son and not a fake one. It was only because I was a fake that I held back.

I need to restrain myself.

With a sigh, I tucked the letter into the drawer.

Even if I considered my family as strangers, to them, I was real family. Any careless actions would inevitably harm them.

Indeed. As the 3rd Manager said, the imprisonment had reset my previous record. From now on, I should be careful not to have to write any reports again.

"Damn it."

Would it have been better if I had been reincarnated in this world instead of possessing this body?

***

A welcome guest visited during today's club time.

"Oppa, are you okay?"

This was Irina’s first visit to the pastry club room since the second semester began. However, her greeting was filled with concern instead of joy.

Her first words weren’t ‘Hello,’ but ‘Are you okay?’ I had a hunch it’d be like that, but it still hurt.

"I'm fine, so don't worry."

I replied with a smile that now came naturally.

I had already said ‘I’m fine,’ ‘I’m doing well,’ and ‘don’t worry’ countless times. It felt like I’d have to keep saying these words all month.

But I was genuinely fine and doing well. They’d probably think it was a waste to visit me in prison if they saw my life there.

"Okay, I understand."

Irina hesitated and then nodded with a slightly sad expression.

I understood why. She must be sad, thinking that I was forcibly saying that I was okay.

Everything’s really okay.

But I was really fine. Honestly, I was more comfortable there compared to my time at the academy. However, I couldn’t just say something like ‘Do you want to try it?’ to a young girl, so I remained silent.

"I didn’t want to come empty-handed, so I brought a little gift."

Irina spoke cautiously after a moment of silence, making me flinch instinctively.

Gift? What gift?

No way.

Rutis's first blow and the subsequent one from Mother still had me reeling.

She didn’t bring tofu, did she?

A third blow would be a total knockout. I don’t think I’d be able to handle that.

"This... I don't know if you'll like it, but..."

Hesitating, Irina brought forward a pot she had been hiding behind her back.

I had been wondering why she was hiding her hands.

It was a white pot containing a blooming hawthorn sapling, its white flowers radiating a cheerful vibe.

Relief washed over me as I realized that it was just a pot. Thankfully, I was able to avoid a third blow.

"It’s the same gift as last time, but... it has grown so beautifully..."

Despite my relief, Irina seemed concerned about giving the same gift again. Her eyes were darting around as she trailed off.

It was unnecessary worry. At this point, I'd be happy to receive anything as long as it wasn't tofu. I might develop PTSD from anything white, but at least it wasn’t edible.

"It’s beautiful. You’ve taken good care of it."

Irina’s eyes widened in surprise after seeing my slight smile.

"I’ll take good care of it, too."

"Yes!"

Seeing her bright smile made the bitterness I felt in the morning fade a little.

***

A smile naturally came to my face as the pot passed from my hand to oppa’s.

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I hesitated several times while preparing the hawthorn. I worried whether he would dislike receiving the same gift again or react indifferently.

But after much deliberation, I chose the hawthorn again. After all, it was a symbolic and unforgettable plant for me.

It symbolized the day I stopped fearing and hating oppa and the day I accepted my feelings for him.

...My only love.

The flower’s meaning still made my face warm. It wasn’t intentional, but it also symbolized my confession of feelings to oppa.

Regrettably, oppa didn’t notice it and only Louise did, but it didn’t matter.

I can just confess again.

How could an unintended confession be considered a real one?

So, I gave him another hawthorn. It was intentional this time, conveying my sole love and my heart for him.

He might not realize it again, but...

It’s okay.

I was already satisfied because it was out of my own will and not a mistake.

Of course, I wasn’t planning to stop here. Instead of using the indirect language of flowers, I intend to confess directly to him in my own words someday.

I felt a poking sensation on my side as I watched oppa carry the hawthorn pot to the window.

"Louise?"

Turning, I saw Louise grinning and poking me playfully in the side.

"Does Irina have two loves?"

Her teasing words made my face heat up. I'd probably be bright red if I looked in a mirror.

Louise was only the other person in this room who knew the true meaning behind the hawthorn. Thankfully, she hadn’t spread it around, though she occasionally teased me like this.

But to say I have two loves...

That’s too much.

She made it sound like I liked two guys. I only had feelings for oppa.

Feeling unfairly treated, I glared at her, but Louise just kept smiling.

...Ah, I’ve got an idea.

"Louise, come here for a second."

With a slight gesture, Louise tilted her head but leaned in anyway.

Teasing others without suspicion; that was Louise's weakness.

"Sorry, so sorryyyyy... I was wrooonnngggg..."

I whispered in her ear, deliberately mimicking the slurred speech she had once used while crying in front of me.

The reaction was immediate. Louise’s face flushed, and she quickly covered my mouth.

How dare you?

I got a satisfying result. Who was she to tease me when she had an even more embarrassing past?

My eyes crinkled with satisfaction, causing Louise’s face to grow even redder and emphasizing her eyes as her hand covered her mouth.

"Sorry..."

Eventually, Louise dropped her hand, softly declaring surrender. It was a bit comical how she attacked first and then surrendered, but I graciously accepted it.

After all, I was a lady of a count's house. I’ve had my share of social engagements.

"Now we have three pots."

Louise quickly composed her expression when she heard oppa’s comment as he approached.

"Do you like it?"

"Very much."

I asked him to give Louise more time to gather herself, but the firm reply brought a smile to my face.

I didn’t expect him to be so pleased. How wonderful would it have been if he knew the meaning behind the hawthorn flowers and replied like this?

...Does he know?

The thought made my heart flutter with excitement.

Did he notice my confession? I hope he would be pleased even if knew what it meant. That would be great...

"I’ll take good care of it. I hope it lives a long time."

His words sounded like a wish for us to have a long life together.

***

Thanks to Irina, the dreaded tofu relay was finally over.

Thank you, Irina. Even if you were to spit in my face one day, I’d still smile. Thank you so much...

— Having many gifts is a sign of a good reputation, isn’t it? It’s proof that Sir Carl has led a good life.

"That's a comforting thought."

I forced a smile at the Invincible Duke’s words. If the price of having a good reputation was teabagging, then I’d rather walk the path of a rebel.

But I couldn’t say things like that in front of an adult with an upcoming celebration, so I held my tongue.

— Think of it that way. Dwelling too much on the past can be tiring.

The Invincible Duke seemed pleased with my response since he smiled slightly. It felt good to give him the right answer.

After a brief chuckle, the Invincible Duke caught his breath and continued.

— So, Marghetta is coming with you?

"Yes, Your Grace."

With the Crown Princess's birthday banquet only a few days away, it was only practical to know who would attend for the preparation.

So, I told the Invincible Duke that I would attend with Marghetta. Surprise guests might look good in fiction, but they could be a bit of a nuisance in real life.

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— It pleases me to think that a fitting couple will grace the occasion. Thank you, Sir Carl.

There seemed to be multiple layers of meaning in his gratitude.

— The Iron-blooded Duke will be pleased as well.

"Haha..."

I could only laugh awkwardly at that. I hadn’t expected the Iron-blooded Duke to attend.

Since he entered retirement, the Iron-blooded Duke rarely appeared outside his territory except for the New Year’s Ball. I assumed that this time would be no different.

Just my luck.

Why did the Iron-blooded Duke have to come now? It was clear what he was going to say as soon as he saw me.

"I haven’t seen you kneel yet, so why are you with Marghetta?"

My hands and feet trembled at the thought.

After the New Year’s Ball, I planned to go straight to the Iron-blooded Duke’s mansion to kneel and beg for permission to marry Marghetta. Given his reputation for keeping his word, I knew I needed to show that much humility to be with Marghetta.

But to be seen with Marghetta before that? I’d get a firsthand experience of why he was called the Iron-blooded Duke.

...It’ll work out somehow.

Yes, it had to work out. Surely he wouldn’t break his future son-in-law's back in front of his precious youngest daughter, right?

It was honestly risky, but I should be able to protect my spine.

"I didn’t expect the Iron-blooded Duke to attend as well."

When I spoke with a hint of dread about the event that seemed destined for disaster, the Invincible Duke just laughed heartily.

— Oh dear. If you’re surprised now, what will you do when you hear that the Mage Duchess is also coming?

"Pardon?"

That’s crazy.

The Mage Duchess is coming, too?

If the Iron-blooded Duke was like a legendary Pokémon, then the Mage Duchess was a mythical Pokémon. She usually only showed her face for a single day during the New Year’s Ball before returning to her tower.

And now she was appearing at a mere party?

...What’s going on?

Did something major happen in the capital without my /genesisforsaken