Chaotic Craftsman Worships The Cube-CH1020 Thera’s Perspective

Now, what am I supposed to do about this?

On the surface, Mora was trying to seem fine. He was talking with her, discussing what sorts of games he’d want to play when Ben came back and what he’d want to do if Delair joined them, but he was still new to having a body and, as much as that, new to being alive. He could say what he wanted, but he was completely failing to hide his emotions on his face, looking deep in some depressing thought.

“We haven’t found a game Ben has an okay chance of winning, so maybe there’s something we can play in teams? Someone can just carry him,” the boy said, trying to be considerate of Ben in a manner that would hurt in its own way, even as he pouted. It would have been convenient if his mind were easily read so Ben could have found the heart of the issue, but Mora had made it clear on that front from the very beginning that he wanted his privacy, leaving only one thing that could be done. Thera needed to ask.

“Mora,” she stopped him, cutting off his rambling. “I know you’re not okay. Talk to me about it. I’m here for you.”

“... I’m fine.”

“You’re worse at hiding your emotions than me, and I spent most of my life having to completely hide my face,” she tried to lightly tease, feeling like she failed when it got no reaction. “Yesterday was… hard. We saw people we cared about hurt, and a place you’ve spent a lot of time was destroyed, but we made it out okay in the end. The dryads were saved, and even if they’ve lost their homes, by moving here they’ll be safer than they ever could have been if they were left in their village.”

“...”

Thera sighed, seeing no progress. “Is what happened to Ben still on your mind?”

She didn’t know if he’d followed fast enough to see it as it happened, but he’d certainly seen the aftermath. Considering it was one of his guardians, it was reasonable to think that the sight might have left a trauma despite how well he normally managed to handle seeing rather extreme injuries every time she brought him with her to any hospital or clinic, but the boy didn’t respond.

“Is it concern about the dryads then?” She tried once more, thinking her reassurance on that front may not have been enough before a different thought came to her. “Or are you thinking about what would have happened if you had been there?”

With how often they had Fontesh babysit, it was a thought that had passed her mind as well. What would have happened if Mora had been with them at the time while she and Ben had been off somewhere else, dealing with some other task? Just the notion left her feeling sick; she could imagine the thought was even more uncomfortable to a child, and with a small nod it seemed she was right, though not in the way she’d expected.

“... I’ve been thinking about if I should kill people or not.”

A statement that immediately froze her before she realized what he meant.

Anything with system access is by definition a person.

“You’re thinking about whether you should kill demons,” she said, seeing him nod.

“If I’d been there… I don’t want to, but Delair and Fontesh and Hentath and everyone else were there and all of them are weak compared to me. Even after Ben strengthened them, they were still getting hurt, but I, I probably wouldn’t have. I could have fought and won, but if I could do that then because I know them… that sort of thing is happening everywhere, isn’t it? I’m a great spirit, how can I only think about doing anything when people I know are in trouble? Everyone is in danger right now, aren’t they? Even if they’re people, they’re bad people, right?”

She could see the conflict in the boy’s eyes and just how much it was weighing on him, especially because he was correct. Even if the demons were people, they were also monsters who would kill their way across the world. What had happened in the dryad village was happening in other settlements across the planet every single day, and as a great spirit, there was no denying that he had the power to make a significant difference, just like every other great spirit on the planet was doing each day. She’d chosen to respect his wishes when he’d admitted to her that the reason Vividus had abandoned him was because he wouldn’t kill demons, but there was no denying that a change of heart would be for the better of the world. If, after all of his thinking on it, he decided it was for the best, even more people would live and even more people would be saved.

It was his choice in the end, just like it had been in the beginning. She wanted him to do what he believed was right, and yet, despite that, her heart desired something different for him.

Reaching out and gently pulling him into a hug, she quietly spoke her feelings to the boy.

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“I’m telling you, don’t. Don’t kill anything because you feel like you have to; don’t worry about the rest of the planet and what’s happening out there. If anyone’s in danger in front of you then you can think about what’s right to do then, but other than that, just keep living the way you’re living, Mora. That’s all I want for you.”

“But I’m strong. I need to be responsible-” 𝗳𝐫𝚎𝗲𝚠𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝘃𝚎𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝗺

“You need to be a child, and no decent person would expect a child to do that,” Thera told him. “As you get older, you can make more serious choices about what’s right for yourself, but as your guardian, I’m telling you not to think about it and not to worry about it. The rest of the spirits can do plenty, and more of them are being born every day. I can do plenty too, so can Ben. We’ll all more than make up for what you could add, so focus on what you have been doing. Playing games with us, being led by the nose by Delair in whatever she wants to drag you into, and being a part of our family. You have eternity to be an adult with adult responsibilities, Mora; you only get to be a kid right now.”

She felt him start to hug her back, Thera taking back the freedom of choice she’d once given him in that regard granting its own level of peace. Torn between what he’d wanted and what he thought he should be doing, having someone else decide was all the comfort he needed. She was right after all; he was still a child, and the decision of whether or not to take any lives was more than he’d wanted to bear.

“Is that really okay?” he still asked, knowing that there were plenty who would have been hoping for that exact turmoil within him, his mother being one, with Thera firm in her response.

“If anyone thinks it isn’t then I’ll make it okay whether they like it or not. I decided to make you a part of my family and I decided to raise you for as long as you need it; nobody else in the world gets to decide what’s right for you. If anyone ever tries, then let me or Ben know and we’ll make sure they aren’t dumb enough to try a second time, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good,” she said, letting go and giving him her brightest smile, seeing him look more comfortable as well. “Then, with that sorted out, let’s focus on what we’re going to do when they get here. If Ben sees Delair, then he’s bringing her back, the two of you can be on a team for whatever we end up doing, and I’ll worry about trying to make up for Ben’s part.”

“Do you think Delair’s going to be okay, though? Yesterday was really bad for her.”

“She’ll be fine in the end, sweetheart, don’t worry. She happens to have an excellent teacher around to help her through it.”