Becoming a Monster-Chapter 40: What’s Wrong With Me?

"Do you think they’ll get enough food for all of us?"

"What do you mean, all of us? We came here first, it’s first come, first served. They can go get their own food then."

"Say, what if they don’t come back and keep it to themselves?"

"Ha! Why do you think I suggested for her friend to stay here? She definitely wouldn’t leave her here to starve. And she thought we wanted her to stay so she could be protected. I swear, women are so gullible haha."

As Noah listened to their conversation, he was once again reminded of the selfish nature of humans. The disregard for the lives of the people they depended on to preserve their wellbeing was irony in itself. Once again he asked himself the question that weighed on his mind, who are the real monsters? Was it the flesh-eating zombies outside, or was it the humans who betrayed and deceived each other for their self preservation?

The closed showers forced them to speak loudly over the running water, their voices echoing in the confined space. Despite Noah’s desire for his presence to go unnoticed, the echoing of his footsteps in the room made that desire impossible to satisfy.

"Hey, who just came in? Did you not hear that it’s our turn? I swear it’s like we’re surrounded by idiots."

Noah ignored the voice, opting instead to focus on his own thoughts. And after hearing their discussion, he decided to barricade the door leading to the area he’s staying once he finished showering. These people were bound to be a nuisance. While he might have felt sorry for the girl being manipulated, he questioned what he stood to gain from helping them. A clear conscience? He had already spent most of his life feeling guilty for merely existing, and it had gotten him nowhere.

And then there was Isabelle, he had saved her for what he considered an equivalent exchange. But where had that left him? his supposed "good" deed didn’t make him feel better about himself, he just felt used and stupid for allowing it all to happen.

As he made his way to the shower, Noah kept himself to the nearest stall, promptly turning on the water before he did anything else in hopes it’ll drown out their talking. Unfortunately, while he removed his clothing, he realized the water had the opposite effect.

"DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? I SAID GET OUT ALREADY! OR ARE YOU DEAF AS WELL AS STUPID?"

The obnoxious voice grated in Noah’s ears, each word felt like tiny stabs to his brain. Noah was already drained from the constant fighting, not to mention the mental fatigue that has been accumulating since the start of it all. He tried to block out the voice that echoed loudly in his head by submerging his head under the running water, finding some relief as the sound dulled.

’Too bad I didn’t bring any soap, but I doubt it would solve the smell. I would need a couple washes before I no longer smell like blood.’ Pausing his thoughts, he couldn’t help but take in a deep whiff of his new odor, unable to hold in the satisfactory smirk that came along with it.

’It actually smells surprisingly good when I get used to it.’

He tried to distract himself with random thoughts while the voices continued.

"Well, there’s a lot of stalls here, it shouldn’t be a big deal if one more person uses one, right?" Noah heard someone attempt to appease the hostile voice. But one thing Noah learned in his life is that there’s no reasoning with an emotional person, especially if that person believed they were privileged.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IF YOU LET THEM DO WHAT THEY WANT, THEN WHAT’S STOPPING THE OTHERS? YOU BASTARD! JUST WAIT TILL I GET OUT."

’Ok, that’s it...’ Noah had just about had it with this guy’s constant yelling. With a grunt of frustration, he turned off the water before quickly putting on his new piece of gear, with the addition of the chest piece he received earlier; his fingers fumbling with the clasp due to his haste. In his hurry, Noah was momentarily stunned, despite lacking any extra clothing to wear underneath, the gear was surprisingly still comfortable. He wanted to bask in that comfort a little longer, or at least assess the stats that were increased by his new gear, if it wasn’t for that insufferable voice.

That voice was infuriating to listen to, and Noah felt that he needed to do something about it or else his head would explode.

Boom!*

With a sudden burst of energy, Noah flung open the door, leaving his bloodied clothes behind. His earlier fatigue was overshadowed by his recently acquired resentment as he headed to the stalls that hid the oblivious ongoing voice. The person had yet to realize the danger he put himself in.

"See? Just let them know their place and they become obedient. Don’t let them walk over you an....wha-what? What are you doing in here? Robe-Robert....?"

The guy wasn’t prepared for someone to barge into his stall, let alone when he saw the pair of dark empty pupils that foreshadowed a horrible ending. His lack of experience in dealing with the undead perhaps made him too complacent, treating everyone as if the world hadn’t changed. But now, faced with a genuine threat, fear gripped him, momentarily paralyzing his body, rendering him unable to even cry out for help.

Thud!*

Noah’s fist slammed against the man’s chin with a sickening thud, sending him hurtling backwards against the wall. The impact knocked out any air left in his lungs, leaving him momentarily stunned and unable to move. But as he saw Noah approaching again with his arm cocked back, his body somehow found the energy to move.

"Arrghh! N-no st-stop! ROB-"

Thud!* The man’s desperate plea was cut short as Noah’s fist connected with his mouth, the sensation of a barrier was felt on his fist before breaking through whatever teeth happened to be in the way.

Choking on blood and saliva, the man struggled to breathe as Noah relentlessly continued his assault. After the first two quick swings to the man’s decently handsome face, he quickened the tempo, using both his fists one after the other after realizing how much relief he felt with each impact.

Unknowingly, his rousing emotions gave rise to his killing instinct skill to activate on its own. Noah was already out for blood, his emotions overshadowing any awareness that he could have to notice the skill’s activation that only amplified his emotions further.

Swing after swing, Noah continued to unleash a relentless barrage of blows. Every time the guy’s body reacted then another blow followed until his body no longer responded.

"WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT DID YOU DO?? Help....SOMEBODY HELP! HE’S KILLING HIM!!"

The shout awakened Noah from his trance. He looked down and finally witnessed what he had done. Blood oozed from every contusion on the man’s face, his features grotesquely distorted. His nose was busted while he could clearly make out the bone. The right eye socket was completely broken, leaving a visible hole in his face now that his eyeball was no longer being held in place. Meanwhile, his cheekbones were pulverized, making his face appear flatter than the damage Noah had already caused.

Honestly, Noah couldn’t understand how he could’ve done this much damage in such a short time. His eyes locked down towards his hands in disbelief before he understood. He never removed his gloves, and considering that the guy was still level one, he might as well have been wielding a sledgehammer.

But now Noah felt conflicted; he wasn’t horrified with himself for killing someone that didn’t try to kill him first. Honestly, he was a tad bit worried at the fact he didn’t care. What left him conflicted was the fact that he wasn’t aware of what he was doing until now.

"Something’s definitely wrong with me. This isn’t good..." He quickly got up and bolted for the door, concerned for what he may do when the others arrived. Just as soon as he was closing the door to the locker room, the sound of another door opening echoed through the hallway, accompanied by a bustling of noises following behind it.

As Noah barged into the room, Arachne and Grim, startled from their sleep, were quickly alerted by his presence. The two became vigilant, ready for another blood bath until they realized who the intruder was. They became curious of Noah’s odd behavior, especially when he began shooting his webs without warning, covering the entire door in a sticky mesh of black silk, not even the frames were spared.

Meanwhile, it appeared that the group that entered the showers needed some time to deal with the unexpected dead body before they realized Noah’s actions. This allowed Noah the time to finish what he needed to do.

"Guys! What the hell is it? I thought they said it was a human! Then what did this?"

"How would I know?! Larry was the only one there and this wasn’t here before! Try touching it, I guess..."

"He-help! I’m stuck! Somebody help me already!"

"Why did you touch it with your hands?"

"You were the one who told me to!"

The chatter continued on the other side of the web-covered doorway. However, Noah was too mentally tired to care as he slumped onto one of the mats, his stare fixed blankly on the ceiling. Seeing this, his two companions also ignored the noises on the other side, finding comfort being able to relax tougher. Grim laid on his belly while his chin was planted on the mat. Arachne wasn’t able to find comfort standing on the cushioning material, so she positioned herself near them, folding her legs close to her to re-enter her slumber.

The scene might have been heartwarming under different circumstances, but his thoughts were still reflecting on earlier.

’Sigh...Noah, what to do, what to do...At this rate, I don’t think it’ll be possible to be in the same room as people, but....did anything really change?’ His brow furrowed in contemplation as he confronted his inner turmoil. Despite his unrest, his eyes reflected little emotion beyond a sense of confusion.

Noah’s frustrations proved difficult to ignore as he tried to piece together his conflicted emotions. "I don’t feel wrong about what I did, but I feel wrong that I don’t feel wrong. Ugh! Life is easier when I can just kill things...’

Despite his desire to delve deeper into his feelings and understanding of himself, an annoying sensation nagged at the back of his mind since encountering the recent trio. Noah reluctantly decided to put his feelings on the back burner for now; the notifications were a good escape from having to deal with his emotions.

[Noah Level Up! +5 attribute points!]

[Noah Level Up! +5 attribute points]

[Arachne Level Up! +5 attribute points]

Receiving the good news lightened his spirits momentarily, but soon, Noah realized something was off.

’Wait a minute...I ended up leveling up twice?’ His eyes narrowed in suspicion. ’Hold on! that’s not right....Unless the way we share experience is different from what I thought before. Do my creatures not share experience with each other at all or is it just with me?’ Just the thought of such an idea being factual jolted his tired mind awake.

’Tha-that means monster tamers are kinda broken, no?’ Originally, Noah chose being a tamer so he could have companions he could trust and maybe later in the future could treat as family.

Thinking the class was overpowered was nowhere on his mind when he made his choice, but this new revelation surprised him. When the tamer doesn’t have to share an equal amount of experience with his monsters, then that makes them a leveling machine.

’Well, I guess the downside is that my monsters will be lower leveled than me, hmmmm...but all I need to do is adjust the way the sharing works, and I could help power level them too, right? Oh man! I think I already found a bug! If I don’t bring it up, then god shouldn’t patch it, right? No...that would be admitting he messed up...I need to take advantage of this, but first things first.’ Noah eagerly delved into checking his status.

[Player: Noah

Race:Human Chimera

Class: monster tamer

Gold: 195->748

Lvl: 5->7

Exp:267/400->751/1600

Health:90%->92%

Stamina:62%->26%

Mana: 4/24->18/60

Player: Noah

Race:Human Chimera

Class: monster tamer

Attributes

Defense: 10->25

Strength:18->22(23)

Agility: 20>(21)

Constitution: 39>45(47)+5

Stamina: 28>33(35)

Magic: 27>29(30)

Spirit:48>50(65)

Unassigned Points: 10

Skills

Active

Monster taming(lvl 0)progression:50%->75%

Killing instinct (lvl 0) progression:4.5%-4.8%

Undead Webbing(Lvl 0)0.7%

Passive

Rodeleros(lvl 0) progression: .6%

Soul cage(lvl 0) progression: .76%

Stamina regeneration (lvl 0) progression:5.15%->5.9%

Immortal body (lvl 0) progression: 1.48%->1.76%

Budding Feeder (lvl 0) progression: 0%->.4%

Genetic Synergy(lvl 0) progression:25%->50%

Taming proficiency(lvl 0)N/A

Spiders Alertness(Lvl 0)1.3%

Sensory Spines(Lvl 0): .9%

Titles

The Fallen, Subjugator, Insatiable Hunter]

’Everything is slowly coming along. But that experience jump is insane is it not? If it doubles every time then I will have to change to a new farming target. Just what else is out there and how much will these zombies grow? Will they somehow mutate into huge grotesque monsters?’ Noah pondered, imagining facing off against monsters the size of buildings. The image brought Noah to face a grim future, however, in the same instance, the scene instilled in him a fervor for more otherworldly battles.

With a smile on his face he couldn’t help but mutter to himself. ’That just means I need to keep on grinding then.’ With a more distinct goal in mind, Noah relooked at his status panel, his thoughts filled with ways to improve himself. ’Now that I have these new skills, maybe I don’t have to continue building the way I have so far...the webs seem to have the best potential in terms of usage, but these eyes would do so much better if I had more agility. So far I can keep up with the zombies that are faster than me, but how much can I keep up with something as fast as Arachne?

Screw it! I already started building as a tank, I might as well work my way to get my constitution to 50 to see what skill I’ll obtain and then decide from there.’ After coming to a decision, Noah was about to spend his unassigned points into his constitution, that’s when he realized that something about his stats weren’t adding up.

’Wait.....my constitution should’ve already passed the limit, where’s my notification??’ Noah’s anxiety began to seep in as he hurriedly checked his stats again.

’Forty-seven plus five is definitely higher than fifty! Don’t cheat me...does equipment stats not apply then? Ugh stupid Noah! Just stupid! I keep comparing this to a game. At least I wasn’t dumb enough to waste my points before realizing. Just to be safe, let’s just add only the points I need to reach fifty and then I’ll use the other points depending on the skill I get.’

With a mental command, Noah held a sense of anticipation as he added the three points into his constitution. The distinct ringing came right on que the moment the points were assigned. His anxiousness rose, his desire for strength was developing into an unhealthy need, and that expectation was being placed on his skill.

[Achieved the first limits of 50 stats in constitution, perk based on class ’Monster Tamer’ obtained; Unity through Pain]

[Unity through pain- What can show trust more between the bond of a tamer and his creatures than the two bearing the other’s pain? When activated, the tamer can choose to allow his creature to bear 10% of the damage dealt to him or choose to receive part of the damage given to his creature. Can only be upgraded by increasing constitution.]

"Wha....?" Noah reread the skill, his face full of disbelief as he scanned the skill description once more. It wasn’t that the skill was inherently bad, but it fell short of his expectations. He anticipated something grand, an armored exoskeleton, denser skin or fortified bones; anything that could transform him into a formidable contender against the monstrous creature he was more wary of.

With a heavy sigh, Noah allowed himself to wallow in his disappointment before trying to be optimistic about what he had. ’The skill may seem underwhelming now, but that’s only because of what I’m comparing it to, it’s still a "free" skill, why am I complaining?’ He reasoned.

’Ten percent may be small, heck I probably will never find myself using it regularly but I’m sure that when I need to then the skill will make the difference between me and my monsters living or dying.’

Imaging such a dire scenario didn’t help to brighten his mood, at the very least it encouraged him to avoid such a scenario. If his skill was lackluster then he would just make up for it with superior stats. After all, the skill was just a bonus; the true advantage lay in surpassing the so-called limit in his constitution. He could feel it, much more than any increase he’s had since the start. His body felt surreal. An itchiness tingled across his entire physique, every ounce of his being was being filled with an intense vitality, leaving Noah in awe of such an increase in strength.

’Passing one’s limits is always so satisfying, this is better than obtaining any skill.’ Noah marveled towards his ever increasing growth. The glee in his eye morphed into a bright luster when he remembered he still had seven points left to allocate.

’Although it may seem as if I have a lot of options, my web stands out as my strongest ability right now if I’m not accounting for my enhanced vision.’ Noah’s gaze shifted his wrist, reflecting on the strength and utility that they offered. And as I continue to enhance my constitution and magic, my webs will only become stronger. It’s clear what I need to prioritize next.’

With this in mind, Noah adjusted his magic stats, using the remaining points to increase his overall magic level to thirty-six.

Even after achieving this goal, Noah remained focused on increasing his odds of survival and pursuing unimaginable power. Next on his agenda was distributing Arachne’s points after her level-up. However, as he considered Arachne’s stats, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was forgetting something important.

[Player: Arachne

Race: Jumping Spider

Class: Arachnid

Lvl: 5->6

Exp:196/400->248/800

Health:63%

Stamina:19%

Mana: 16/16

Attributes

Strength:21->23(25)

Agility:38->42

Constitution:24>25

Stamina:31->33

Magic: 8

Spirit:25->27

Unassigned Points: 10

Skills freeωebnovēl.c૦m

Active

Paralysis Venom(Lvl 0):progression-2.4%

Cursed Silk(Lvl 0):progression-1.7%

Passive

Spider Sense(Lvl 0)]:progression-3.7%]

Examining Arachne’s remarkable growth, Noah couldn’t ignore the significant advantage animals held over humans. Without considering his unique trait, he would only gain two additional attributes for his stats, while Arachne gained up to ten just from leveling up. The comparison made it apparent that the average human was seemingly cannon fodder in front of any random creature they would encounter.

And yet Noah didn’t seem the least bit interested in humanity’s plight. What he most was concerned about was developing his creatures to be better than the rest. With that desire, Noah’s attention focused on what he can do for Arachne to increase her strength as efficiently as possible. As he deliberated on where to allocate her unassigned points, the glaring ten points served as a huge wake up call to his early oversight. He knew he couldn’t afford to repeat such a mistake, understanding its potential for dire consequences in the future.

’Ugrh, back then I was so concerned about everything else that I forgot to use her points.’ Noah groaned inwardly, frustrated with his blunder. ’I have no excuses for this, I need to do better, just one stat could make a difference in a fight!’

The mere thought of losing Arachne due to his previous mistake weighed heavily on Noah’s mind, yet it fueled his determination not to make the same mistake twice. Now he needed to finish what he started, allocating Arachen’s stats in the most effective way possible. With ten points at his disposal, it became easy what he should do.

With the experience he gained from breaking his limit, he placed eight of Arachne points into her agility to break her own, hoping that Arachne would obtain an ability that would improve her combativeness. The remaining two points he placed into her strength in hopes it could increase her lethality.

After carefully distributing Arachne’s stats, Noah eagerly awaited the notification, eager to see the results of his decision.

The source of this c𝓸ntent is fr(e)𝒆novelkiss