Alpha's Dark Desires-Chapter 206: Reasoning

Elena’s POV

The air still buzzed with static. My back was pressed against the wall, my lips swollen, my breaths coming in ragged gasps, but he was gone.

Gone.

One second his body was caging mine, his touch igniting sparks in every forgotten corner of my skin—and the next, a void remained where he once stood. The room was cold again. Quiet.

And empty.

My fingers slowly slid down the wall behind me as my knees gave out, the flare of my dress pooling like wilted petals beneath me as I sank to the floor. My heartbeat, still wild from what had just transpired, now pounded with something else entirely.

Shame.

I covered my mouth, not to stifle the moan that had already escaped me, but to stop the sob clawing its way up my throat.

Kane. I said Kane’s name.

And Damon—no, he—had looked at me as if I’d sliced him open with it.

Because I had.

"You’re so desperate to believe Kane still exists in me. You’re pathetic."

His sneer echoed in my skull, carving itself deep into my soul like a brand I’d never be able to scrub off.

Why did I say it? Why had that name—his name—been the one to fall from my lips in that moment?

Because for a second... I’d believed it. frёewebnoѵēl.com

He tricked me.

That voice. That gentleness in his hands. The slight, haunting tilt of the smile I’d once known like the rhythm of my own breath. I’d convinced myself that maybe, just maybe, Kane’s soul had clawed its way to the surface, even for a moment.

I was wrong.

I clenched my fists into the soft fabric of my dress, nails digging through it and into my skin. I wanted to scream, to tear the walls apart, to run until the air shredded my lungs—but I couldn’t move.

Because a part of me had wanted it.

Not just the lie. Not just Kane. But him.

Damon.

And that was the most horrifying part.

My body still tingled with the echoes of his touch, the way he’d pinned me, lips bruising, hips grinding against mine like he’d already claimed every inch of me—and I let him. No, worse.

I kissed him back.

I responded with heat, desperation, need—even if my mind screamed otherwise, even if Zena, my traitorous wolf, had practically howled with satisfaction when his hands traced my curves like he’d owned them in every lifetime.

Zena stirred inside me now, pacing like a caged beast. He’s our mate, she whispered smugly, unapologetic. You can lie to yourself all you want, Elena. But your body knows him. Your soul knows him.

"I don’t want him," I croaked, the lie tasting bitter even on my own tongue.

You didn’t push him away until it was too late, Zena snapped. And don’t blame me when you melt every time he touches you.

I stood up shakily, wiping at my eyes. My lips still throbbed from the force of his kiss, and I could still feel his handprints on my hips like heat brands. Every cell in my body felt like it was still buzzing from his presence, and now he was gone.

Good.

No—bad.

God, why was this so confusing?

This man, this thing, was not Kane. Nor Dean. They were gone—swallowed by the monster they’d tried to keep caged. Damon was the true form, the original being born of chaos and power and unquenchable thirst.

I stumbled across the room and leaned against the window frame, pulling the curtains aside. The land stretched endlessly outside—green trees kissed by morninglight, a world still spinning even while mine unraveled.

My fingers pressed to my lips.

It wasn’t Damon’s kiss I remembered in that moment—but the confusion. The loss. The gaping hole that had formed when Dean and Kane vanished. But for that fleeting second when Damon kissed me, I felt alive again.

Like my soul had been stitched back together with fire and ice.

I hated it.

I craved it.

And I didn’t know which one terrified me more.

I stood frozen in the hallway, staring out the grand window like it might somehow offer me an escape—not just from this place, but from the war brewing inside me.

You’re being ridiculous, Zena snapped in my mind, her voice edged with frustration. You felt it too. The fire. The pull. You can’t pretend it wasn’t there.

I spun around, my fists clenched. "I kissed him back. I let him touch me—I moaned for Kane, for god’s sake. How am I supposed to move on when everything inside me still aches for them?"

Zena’s presence surged stronger than usual. She was done being polite.

Then stop acting like they’re still here." Her tone was razor-sharp. "Dean and Kane are gone. Whether they’re pieces buried deep inside Damon or dust scattered in that damn smoke—you have to accept that."

I sank onto the edge of the bed, dragging trembling fingers through my hair. "You expect me to just forget them?"

"No," she said, more softly this time, "but I expect you to stop pretending you didn’t feel something with Damon. The way your skin lit up when he touched you. The way your heart raced. You’re not made of ice, Elena."

"I hate him," I whispered. "I hate that he tricked me. That he’s cruel. That he wants to rule through fear."

I clenched the windowsill tighter. My heart was still racing, lips still tingling with the phantom memory of Damon’s kiss—his mouth, his hands, the way his body had pinned mine to the wall. And I had responded. God, I had moaned. For a moment... for one heartbreaking moment, I thought he was Kane.

A choked sound escaped me, half sob, half growl. "I’m such an idiot..."

No, Zena said coolly. You’re a fool for pretending this isn’t real. He’s your mate. Whether he’s Kane, Dean, or the damn devil himself—your bond with him is raw, powerful, undeniable. You felt alive again. So did I.

I turned sharply from the window, pacing now. "He tricked me," I hissed under my breath. "He knew I was vulnerable. He pretended to be Kane just to get under my skin."

Or maybe he was just showing you who he really is. A part of Kane, a part of Dean... all in one. You keep talking like Kane and Dean are dead, but if Damon is whole, then parts of them are still in there.

"Then why does he feel so... wrong?" My voice cracked. "Why does being near him feel like fire and ice tearing me apart? Why does it make me want to scream and melt all at once?"

Zena was silent for a long beat before she finally said, softer now, Because you’re scared. Scared of losing again. Scared that loving him means letting go of them for good.

I pressed my palm against the cold glass. Outside, the pack grounds were quiet. Too quiet. Like everyone was holding their breath.

"Maybe I should try to bring them back," I whispered. "Dean. Kane. If they’re truly part of Damon, maybe... maybe I can awaken those pieces. Balance him somehow."

Zena snorted. Now you’re dreaming. You can’t bring them back. You can only accept what’s already there. Stop chasing ghosts, Elena. We have a mate now—powerful, yes, and maybe even dangerous—but still ours. You’re wasting time fighting what’s already bound.

My throat tightened. "You’d really be okay with that? With giving up on Kane and Dean?"

I don’t see it as giving up, Zena said gently. I see it as moving forward. We didn’t choose Damon. But the bond did. And if he is the whole version of them, maybe... maybe we have a second chance. Not with the past. But with something entirely new.

Something cracked in me at those words. I slid down the wall, curling my knees to my chest, and let the guilt roll over me. I didn’t want to admit it, but the part of me that had kissed him back... the part that had burned with need in that hallway... it wanted Damon.

If I let myself fall again, if I dared to love the monster who now wore their faces and carried their souls... there’d be no surviving the heartbreak a second time.

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