Turning
Chapter 1107
Yuder answered honestly.
“Yes.”
“......”
Kishiar’s gaze sank even deeper. Seeing this, Yuder spoke quickly, not wanting him to fall into self-blame over failing to recognize the change in himself.
“You remember my previous rut, don’t you? I was also one of those Awakeners who didn’t realize it had started until you pointed it out to me.”
The first rut that came with his awakening had passed in a haze of fever, so much so that he didn’t even remember it. As a result, the rut he experienced around the time he visited the Western branch to help with the Second Cavalry recruitment was effectively his first.
Before that rut began, Yuder had experienced heightened sensitivity and a stronger scent for quite a while. But having lived his past life without ever experiencing rut, he hadn’t suspected that what he was going through might be a precursor.
“Even now, I might be the person who has had Two-Star manifestation longer than anyone else in the world, but the fact that I still couldn’t properly assess my own state... is ridiculous. Still,”
Yuder paused, then looked Kishiar directly in the eyes.
“—because you were there, I was able to avoid blaming myself.”
Back then, after hearing Kishiar’s advice, he did try to prepare in his own way. But it hadn’t helped much. Who could have predicted that he would end up handing over his prepared suppressant to another Two-Star Awakener in critical condition—and that ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) immediately afterward, in a blood-soaked battle, his rut would suddenly begin?
The Two-Star Awakener who’d mocked him in that moment was made to pay with his life even as Yuder’s body barely held together. But if Kishiar hadn’t arrived just in time, things might have gone very badly.
The old Yuder would’ve been consumed by rage and shame at having made such a foolish mistake. But the Yuder of now didn’t feel that memory was entirely negative.
That was because Kishiar had been there.
Because Kishiar hadn’t blamed anyone, and had immediately brought him somewhere private where they could be alone... it had allowed Yuder, for the first time, to think that maybe surrendering to instinct wasn’t so bad.
That was the moment when he had finally accepted the rut of a Two-Star Manifested as a natural part of himself—something he had previously considered unnecessary to living.
“You mentioned before that you’ve experienced rut in the past. But even if the precursors this time are entirely different, I don’t think it’s strange you didn’t recognize it. It’s been a long time since your last, and now there’s also the added variable of our bond.”
“......”
“For Awakeners, nothing is ever truly a fixed rule. It could be that this time, that bond has triggered your rut. That’s all.”
“That’s all.”
Kishiar slowly echoed Yuder’s final words.
Moments later, he finally let out a laugh, like a flower lifting its head upon finding the sun.
“...Yes. That makes sense. Even if this rut is nothing like the two I had before, it’s possible. Even if you say you nearly drowned in my scent without me realizing... the important thing is you’re still here, looking exactly the same.”
“The ‘drowning’ was... just a metaphor.”
And truthfully, it wasn’t even something he hated. The increased strength of Kishiar’s scent had become overwhelming to the point of near-unbearable stimulation—but looking at it another way, it also meant he’d received more of Kishiar than ever before.
Even if his body had suffered... how could Yuder Aile ever dislike anything Kishiar gave him?
“Let me say it again—I was truly fine. What concerns me is that your strength and your scent intensified simultaneously. That never happened in your past ruts, correct?”
“Right. I understand.”
Kishiar nodded without resistance.
“But... I can’t help feeling a little ashamed. In my whole life, there have been very few times where I failed to notice something changing in myself until someone else pointed it out. I’ll need to stay more in tune with my condition from now on—so please, take a close look.”
“There’s no need for apologies. Even if you hadn’t asked, I would have done so. So don’t worry.”
Kishiar softened his expression and smiled. Yuder was about to place a hand on his exposed skin—when he suddenly noticed something.
One of Kishiar’s hands, kept discreetly by his thigh so Yuder wouldn’t see, was tightly clenched. His veins were bulging, his skin pale.
‘......’
Even if he understood what Yuder had said, the guilt and shock he’d already felt probably couldn’t be dispelled so easily.
Without saying anything, Yuder reached out. He placed his hand over the clenched fist and held it firmly. Kishiar flinched slightly and looked up at him.
“I’ll begin now.”
Yuder drew power. As naturally as breathing, it came—turning one of his eyes gold. And in the next instant, the flows of energy inside Kishiar’s body became visible before him.
The four energy currents within him were still gathered around the positions Yuder remembered. Back then, the central “vessel” protected by the red Awakener’s energy had been encircled by those currents, which were twisted, bloated, and unstable. But lately, they had been surprisingly orderly, each keeping to its own territory.
Still, Yuder’s last memory was that quite a few tangled sections remained near the vessel’s center...
‘Hm?’
What he saw now was very different from the last time.
First, the red energy surrounding the vessel had deepened significantly. The Awakener energy near the lower abdomen had grown noticeably. In response, the other three energies seemed to be expanding their territory as well—so none of them appeared disproportionately dominant.
What struck Yuder was that all this power was somehow contained in a single human body. That alone was hard to believe.
‘There are tangled parts... but I can’t see them as clearly as before.’
Like trying to find a single piece of candy hidden among a basket full of cookies—if the basket held just a few, spotting the candy would be easy. But if there were far more cookies now, it would be harder to detect what was hidden between them. That was the sensation Yuder felt.
‘Of course, it could also be that there’s just less tangled energy than before...’
“Is something wrong?”
Kishiar asked slowly. As Yuder traced the waves of energy trailing from his hand imbued with Red Stone power, he spoke.
“Overall, the amount of energy you possess has increased. I don’t know why... but it doesn’t feel unbalanced. Still, with that much power, it makes sense that controlling it would be difficult.”
“As I suspected.”
After saying that, Kishiar paused for a moment. Then, in a soft, lowered voice, he spoke.
“...When you first opened my internal energy, I remember. You touched a tangled thread, and my rut vanished on the spot.”
He remembered. Yuder had been so alarmed at the time, thinking he had worsened Kishiar’s condition by disturbing something he didn’t understand. Thankfully, that hadn’t been the case—but now, Yuder wondered if that incident might have caused lingering effects, which had led to the different symptoms this time.
Just as he was about to say that, Kishiar spoke again—unexpectedly.
“Do you think... you could try doing the same thing again?”
Yuder’s hand stopped.
He replayed the words he’d just heard in his head and asked, frowning.
“...Are you seriously suggesting I repeat what I did back then—when I blindly interfered and accidentally skipped over your rut?”
“Put that way, it does sound like I’m asking for something terrible.”
“It’s just the truth.”
“Back then, the signs of my rut were heat, sudden loss of stamina, and the dangerous shaking of the vessel I’d kept stable since awakening.”
Kishiar murmured.
“When the powers inside the vessel swelled too much, that was the sign of an approaching cycle. In short, it wasn’t a pleasant time.”
“......”
“Maybe it’s the natural order to experience rut when it comes... but the timing now is just too poor. With anomaly rifts having appeared and vanished across the country, I can’t afford to isolate myself in the tower for days like before. Don’t you agree?”
His red eyes quietly rose to meet Yuder’s.