The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism
Chapter 55 | The Crimson Card
I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was wet and sticking up in seventeen different directions. The scar through my left eyebrow caught the light. My amber eyes stared back, tired but alert.
"This is a date," I told my reflection. "An actual date. Not a quest. Not a manipulation. Just two people going to an arcade."
The reflection didn’t look convinced.
I grabbed a clean hoodie from the closet. Black, like most of my wardrobe. Sloane would probably make fun of me for it. She’d been making fun of my hoodie collection for nine years now. Why stop?
But then I paused, hoodie halfway over my head.
The Epic pull ticket sat in my inventory. Unused. Waiting.
I’d been saving it. Being smart about it. Waiting for the right moment.
Fuck being smart.
I dropped the hoodie on the bed and sat down, pulling up my status screen.
〘 Status 〙
Name: Lukas Belmont
(DP) 0
(SP) 620
〘 Attributes 〙
STR: 28 | AGI: 30 | DEX: 30
INT: 20 | END: 37
ACTIVE SKILLS (2/2):
Spectral Reach (Rare)
Blitz (Rare)
PASSIVE TRAITS (3/3):
Boundless Stamina (Epic)
False Data (Uncommon)
Sexercise (Common)
My stats had jumped significantly. The Sexercise trait had done serious work last night. Six rounds with Diane had pumped my physical attributes by seventeen points total. Add that to the quest rewards and I was sitting at nearly double what I’d started with two weeks ago.
Not bad for a dead kid’s body.
"Alright," I said to the empty room. "Let’s see what we’re working with."
I pulled up the gacha interface. The Epic ticket gleamed in my inventory, radiating that distinctive purple glow that promised power beyond what I currently had.
〘 EPIC GACHA PULL AVAILABLE 〙
〘 CONFIRM ACTIVATION? 〙
"Fuck yes."
The interface exploded.
Not just the standard animation. This was a full production. The purple light intensified until my entire room glowed with it. A circle of golden runes materialized in the air, rotating slowly at first, then faster. The sound that came with it started low, a deep thrumming bass that I felt in my chest.
Then the music hit.
Actual music. Orchestral strings swelling. Brass instruments blaring. Fucking trumpets announcing something important was about to happen.
"Holy shit," I breathed.
The runes spun faster. The purple light shifted, bleeding into gold, then white, then something beyond white. Pure radiance that made me squint even though it was happening inside my own vision.
Voices joined the music. Choir voices. Angelic harmonies that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
The circle of runes contracted, spinning so fast they blurred into a solid ring of light. Then they exploded outward in a nova of golden particles that hung in the air like stars.
A card materialized in the center. Not purple. Not gold.
Crimson.
Deep, blood red that pulsed with power.
The card flipped, and text blazed across my vision in letters of fire.
〘 LEGENDARY ABILITY ACQUIRED 〙
〘 USURPER 〙
The music hit a crescendo. The voices soared. The light flared so bright I had to look away.
When I looked back, the card was gone. The interface displayed a new entry in my abilities list, and the description made my hands shake.
〘 Usurper 〙
Legendary · Conditional Active
"Victory is not the end. It is the transaction."
OVERVIEW: A parasitic ability representing the ultimate expression of dominance in combat. Allows the user to permanently steal a single ability from a defeated foe, absorbing their power and making it their own.
ACTIVATION CONDITIONS:
Target must be conscious and aware
Target must have reached complete psychological breaking point (total subjugation)
User activates Usurper
System initiates 50/50 probability roll
SUCCESS: Proceed to selection
FAILURE: Ability fails, cannot be used on this target again
SELECTION PROCESS:
Upon successful roll, System presents list of target’s stealable abilities. User selects one to permanently claim. Chosen ability integrates into user’s loadout.
LIMITATIONS:
Can only be used once per individual (success or failure)
Does not work on unconscious or deceased targets
Requires complete mental surrender from target
"Holy fuck," I whispered.
Then louder. "Holy fuck."
I read the description three more times. Each time, my heart beat faster.
This wasn’t just powerful. This was broken. Completely, utterly, disgustingly broken.
I could steal abilities. From anyone. Permanently.
Sure, there were conditions. The target had to be beaten down mentally, not just physically. The fifty-fifty chance meant I could fail and lose the opportunity forever. I could only use it once per person.
But if I succeeded?
I could take Grande Dame’s size manipulation. Prominence’s solar flare. If I ever fought Radiant and somehow managed to break his will?
I could steal Superpower itself.
My hands were actually shaking now. I clenched them into fists to make it stop.
"This is insane," I said to the empty room. "This is actually insane."
〘 ABILITY EQUIPPED? 〙
The notification floated in my vision, waiting.
I hesitated.
Spectral Reach and Blitz were my bread and butter right now. Spectral Reach gave me range and control. Blitz gave me mobility and burst speed. Both were essential for my fighting style, especially with only two active ability slots available.
Usurper wouldn’t help me at the arcade with Sloane. It wouldn’t help me train. It wouldn’t even help me pass the Halloran entrance exam.
It was a long-term investment. A nuclear option for down the line when I was strong enough to actually break someone’s will in combat.
"Not right now," I said. "I need my regular abilities more."
〘 ACKNOWLEDGED. USURPER STORED IN INVENTORY. 〙
I pulled up my status again, staring at the loadout.
Two active skill slots. Both full.
Three passive trait slots. Also full.
And now I had Usurper sitting in inventory, this legendary ability that could reshape my entire future, and no room to equip it alongside what I already had.
"Hey System," I said. "How do I get more slots?"
〘 ADDITIONAL ABILITY SLOTS AVAILABLE THROUGH TWO METHODS: 〙
〘 1. GACHA REWARDS (EPIC+ TIER) 〙
〘 2. TUTORIAL COMPLETION BONUS 〙
〘 UPON PASSING TUTORIAL PHASE, USER RECEIVES: 〙
〘 +1 ACTIVE SKILL SLOT 〙
〘 +1 PASSIVE TRAIT SLOT 〙
I blinked. "Wait. Tutorial phase. I’m still in the tutorial?"
〘 AFFIRMATIVE. CURRENT PROGRESS: 67% 〙
"But I’ve already made good progress with the Fitzgerald women. Sloane’s at sixty-four percent. Diane hit fifty percent last night after I—" I stopped. "You know what, never mind. Point is, I’ve been grinding. Isn’t that enough?"
〘 NEGATIVE. TUTORIAL PHASE EXISTS TO ESTABLISH BASELINE COMPETENCY IN SYSTEM MECHANICS BEFORE FULL DEPLOYMENT. 〙
〘 FITZGERALD HOUSEHOLD REPRESENTS CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT WITH: 〙
〘 - PRE-EXISTING RELATIONSHIP FOUNDATION 〙
〘 - EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT PRIOR TO TRANSMIGRATION 〙
〘 - SHARED LIVING SPACE ENABLING PROXIMITY ENGINEERING 〙
〘 - GUARDIAN AUTHORITY CREATING HIERARCHICAL DYNAMIC 〙
〘 INCREASING TEMPTATION GAUGES UNDER THESE CONDITIONS IS SIGNIFICANTLY EASIER THAN STANDARD DEPLOYMENT SCENARIOS. 〙
I stared at the text.
"Are you telling me I’ve been playing on easy mode?"
〘 AFFIRMATIVE. TUTORIAL DIFFICULTY CALIBRATED FOR USER SURVIVAL AND INITIAL SKILL ACQUISITION. 〙
〘 DID YOU BELIEVE THAT RAISING TEMPTATION GAUGES WOULD REMAIN THIS SIMPLE ONCE OPERATING OUTSIDE THE FITZGERALD HOUSEHOLD? 〙
"Fuck." I ran a hand through my still-damp hair. "Okay. Fair point."
Of course it had been easier. Sloane had feelings for me before I even arrived in this body. Nine years of proximity had built a foundation I didn’t have to create. And Diane?
Diane had raised me. She’d watched me grow from a traumatized kid into whatever the hell I was now. The familiarity had worked in my favor. The guardian dynamic had created this weird power structure that I’d exploited without even realizing it.
Out in the real world? At Halloran? With women who didn’t know me, didn’t have any history with me, didn’t already have a reason to care?
It was going to be harder. Way harder.