Chapter 486: Chapter 483: I Was Once Married—Do You Find Me Tainted?

The news exploded like thunder, leaving Ying Fuyan and Yao Ru staring at each other.

Yao Ru lost her composure for a moment. A storm flashed beneath her calm eyes before settling into silence. She placed the food box on the table and opened it to take out the food inside.

It was as if she hadn’t heard anything.

What happened with Ying Zhi?

What’s so improper?

She didn’t care, just somewhat disgusted.

Ying Fuyan, on the other hand, chased away the crow.

"Filthy and vile, dirtying your ears."

But how was the crow easy to chase away?

It feared Wei Zhao, but it wasn’t afraid of Ying Fuyan at all.

It flapped its wings and flew chaotically, sweeping over the incense burner and scattering ashes everywhere, dropping a few sleek black feathers.

The crow shouted.

"Brother Yan!"

The form of address was so familiar.

Yao Ru: ...

Ying Fuyan: ...

The crow could not only eavesdrop now; it could piece together fragments and express what it wanted to say.

"Spare me!"

Its voice was sharp, like an abandoned woman lamenting.

"Is there no affection between us?"

Ying Fuyan frowned absurdly.

Yao Ru looked at the crow, then at Ying Fuyan.

"Yan..."

She barely said a word before swallowing it back, only following up with a question.

"Is there someone else who calls you that way?"

But she knew better than anyone, there wouldn’t be.

Even if Ying Fuyan weren’t in poor health, there wouldn’t be.

This person, more devoted than anyone.

But isn’t this rather unfair? She’s already married with children, yet Ying Fuyan remains alone until now. On the contrary, Yao Ru would rather he had someone warm by his side all these years.

Ying Fuyan didn’t respond, only ordered a trusted aide inside to throw the crow out.

Watching the door close again, leaving only the two of them inside the room, yet the crow’s indignant voice still echoed outside.

"Scoundrel! New love makes you forget the old."

Yao Ru smiled a little.

"Don’t listen to it ramble."

Ying Fuyan held a warm stove in his hands, his face pale: "You... why are you here?"

"Am I not allowed to come?"

Yao Ru: "Wasn’t the tunnel built so I could come anytime?"

Her slender fingers, as smooth as jade, scooped up the milk tea, finally bringing it to Ying Fuyan. In her movements, the multiple layers of her dress remained unrippled. She hadn’t dressed up intentionally, yet her demeanor was gentle and dignified, exuding the elegance of a peony carrying dew, an ancient incense burner concealing fragrance.

Ying Fuyan was about to take it, but Yao Ru had no intention of letting go. He slowly lowered his hand again.

"It’s to protect your safety."

Yao Ru gazed at him, as if determined to get an answer: "You mean... don’t want me to come?"

"Ah Ru, I didn’t mean that."

"Then it means you hoped I’d come."

Yao Ru: "Knowing you can’t have cold things, I made sure it didn’t cool down. The milk tea is still warm, try it."

She bent down slightly, scooping a spoonful and bringing it to his lips.

As she neared, the subtle fragrance of the woman filled his nostrils.

Ying Fuyan instinctively leaned back.

"What are you avoiding?"

Yao Ru: "You didn’t take it earlier, isn’t it because you want me to feed you?"

She was no longer the old Yao Ru.

The one who would blush in joy over the Jade Pendant Ying Fuyan sent her as an engagement gift, tumbling endlessly in bed at night, unable to conceal the thoughts of a young girl.

Ying Fuyan was slightly stunned: "No..."

Interrupted.

Yao Ru still smiled: "Then you’re afraid of touching my hand. I’ve been married, you find me dirty."

"Don’t speak nonsense."

Ying Fuyan’s face suddenly darkened, a thick gloom overshadowing it; his lips moved silently before turning into a sigh.

"You know better than anyone, I can’t bear to see you suffer, but I’m powerless to protect you. I’m grateful that my Ah Ru has lived well, waiting for me to come and rescue her."

"I know."

The smile on her lips subtly faded away.

"I also know you’ve been avoiding me lately."

"You want to say that you’re a cripple, your body is exhausted, uncertain of tomorrow."

Ying Fuyan quietly: "Ah Ru."

His eyes were filled with complex emotions, deliberately avoiding, pretending to be ignorant.

Yet Yao Ru insisted on confronting him, not allowing him to evade.

"Why do this?"

Ying Fuyan struggled to stand, supporting himself with the table, his body swaying unsteadily.

With Elder Ge tending his health, his condition hadn’t deteriorated further, nor did he feel as cold as before, his spirits were slightly lifted.

Yet the foundation was there.

At its best, this was it.

He used the table for support, reaching to take the bowl from her hand. His fingertips brushed past hers, like a dragonfly skimming the water, briefly touching then separating.

Yao Ru let go, allowing him to take the bowl, yet caught the amulet tied to its side.

Her gaze was steady, meeting Ying Fuyan’s eyes, neither dodging nor evading, yet her delicate hand gradually pressed against the bulging veins on his hand.

Her hands were warm.

But Ying Fuyan’s were icy cold.

The Jade Bracelet on her wrist clinked against the rim of the bowl with a clear sound.

Amidst the scent of medicine, she could see clearer than anyone the restraint in Ying Fuyan’s eyes, as well as her own reflection.

Ying Fuyan’s Adam’s apple bobbed.

They used to follow decorum, being young, always observing propriety, very little physical contact.

His tone was calm, without much emotional fluctuation.

"I’ve long disregarded life and death."

He spoke neither quickly nor slowly.

"During exile, my mother died in childbirth, hemorrhaging after giving birth to my little sister, her mind already gone. Her prison clothes stained with blood, she lay in my father’s arms, reluctantly holding my hand, still worried on her deathbed about my survival in Lingnan. The bright and noble Princess Consort Yan, yet in the end could only be buried hastily in a roadside grave without any dignity."

"My little sister was frail, her cries barely louder than a cat’s meow. When she cried, I worried she’d cry herself into a fit from cold or hunger. Father watched over her day and night, feeding her with his blood, but with our limited means, shortly after her birth, she went to seek our mother. When I last held her, her body was already stiff and cold, and I... no longer needed to worry about her being cold, hungry, or hearing her cries again."

And then?

Ying Fuyan actually seldom talked about these.

It’s nothing more than tearing open a scar, with blood still gushing beneath.

But the person in front of him was different.

"After reaching Lingnan, I wasn’t used to the environment or the laborious work. But father supported me, with him around, I had a chance to breathe."

Ying Fuyan lowered his eyes.

"But he couldn’t protect me for more years."

"He was smiling at the end."

It was nothing more than.

"For him to die, allowed me to live."

The only heir of the Prince Yan Mansion. If anything happened, rumors couldn’t be silenced, emperors valued their reputation.

"I witnessed the people around me fall one by one. I’m intimately familiar with the heart-wrenching pain."

"Ah Ru, staying at a distance, isn’t that good? Getting used to having me by your side, isn’t beneficial to you?"

"When my time comes, when I close my eyes, all loves and hates will dissipate. And you? Would mourn me a lifetime? It’s always the living who suffer more in this world."

Rather, it’s better to maintain some distance from the start.

Silently protecting her, that would suffice.

Yao Ru listened quietly to him finish.

She didn’t argue but spoke of something else.